8 subtle signs your adult child loves you (even if they never really show it)

If your adult child hugs you tight, you know they love you. If they tell you they miss you, the love is clear as day.

But hey, we all know it’s not always that simple.

Relationships, especially those with our grown-up kids, can be a puzzle that even the most mindful of us struggle to decode.

Sometimes, there are no bear hugs or nostalgic conversations. Yet, if you pay attention to their subtle signals, you might just find that their love is hidden in plain sight.

In this article, I’ll share eight subtle signs your adult child loves you – even if they never really show it.

Buckle up for a journey of self-improvement and deeper understanding of your child’s hidden affection for you.

1) They still seek your wisdom

When it comes to the chaos of life, we all have our own ways of navigating.

For your adult child, they might be sailing their own ship now. Yet, even amidst the wind and waves of their journey, they often turn back to the lighthouse that is you.

Sure, they may not always visibly show it.

But when they ask for your advice, when they enquire about the old family recipe, or when they just want to hear your take on a recent news event— that’s them subtly seeking your wisdom.

They’re acknowledging that despite their independence, your experience and insight remain invaluable to them.

It’s a subtle sign, indeed. But when you notice it, it’s as clear as day that their love for you still navigates their life’s voyage.

Take a moment. Reflect on those instances. And you’ll find your adult child’s hidden affection shining through.

2) They share their victories with you

In my own journey as a parent, I’ve found that one of the most heartwarming signs of my adult child’s love is when they share their successes with me.

Recently, my son landed a big promotion at his job.

Amid the flurry of congratulations from his friends and colleagues, he made it a point to call me. I was one of the first people he wanted to share the good news with.

Sure, he didn’t say “I love you” outright, but that phone call? It was a love note written in invisible ink.

By sharing his victory, he showed that my happiness matters to him. That he values my pride in his achievements.

It was a clear sign that even as an adult, my opinion and approval still hold a special place in his heart.

So, next time your grown-up child shares their victories with you before anyone else, take it as their subtle way of saying, “Mom/Dad, I love you.”

3) They remember the little things

Did you know that memory is often linked to emotions? When we care about someone, we tend to remember the small details related to them.

If your adult child remembers your favorite book from decades ago or the exact brand of coffee you love, it’s not mere coincidence.

These seemingly random recollections are their silent love letters to you.

Their memory of these little things shows how much they’ve paid attention to your likes and dislikes over the years.

It’s a subtle sign that they care deeply about you, even if they don’t always express it openly.

Next time they surprise you with that obscure chocolate brand you mentioned once, understand that it’s their way of saying “I love you” without uttering a word.

4) They respect your boundaries

As adults, we all need our space, our little corner of the world where we can be ourselves without any judgment or interference. Your adult child understands this, too.

If they respect your boundaries, giving you the space you need when you need it, it’s their way of showing love. It’s their understanding and acknowledgment of your individuality.

They might be leaving the nest, creating their own lives, but they’re careful not to invade yours in the process. They respect your time, your privacy, and your freedom to be you.

So, if your adult child respects your boundaries and cherishes your personal space, take it as a silent whisper of their love for you.

5) They trust you with their vulnerabilities

In my experience, one of the most profound signs of love from my adult child is when they let me in on their vulnerabilities.

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s a storm that leaves us feeling lost and vulnerable.

As a parent, I’ve found that during these times, my adult children often turn to me, trusting me with their fears and insecurities.

Being the person they choose to confide in, the one they trust with their deepest emotions and darkest fears, it’s not something to be taken lightly. It speaks volumes about their love for me.

Sure, they may not say “I love you” during these conversations. But their trust in me, their willingness to be vulnerable with me – it’s a clear sign of their deep-seated affection.

Remember, if your adult child trusts you with their vulnerabilities, it’s a sure sign that they love you dearly.

6) They argue with you

Yes, you read that right. Arguments aren’t always a sign of discord. Rather, they can also be a subtle indication of your adult child’s love for you.

When your grown-up child engages in a debate or disagrees with you, it shows that they value your opinion.

They care enough about your relationship to voice their perspective, even if it clashes with yours.

They trust the bond you share enough to withstand the heat of disagreement.

It’s their way of being honest with you, of treating you not just as a parent but also as someone whose views they respect and consider.

The next time an argument stirs up, remember that it might just be their way of saying, “I love you, and our relationship is strong enough for us to have different opinions.”

7) They include you in their future

When your adult child talks about their future plans, do they include you in the picture? If yes, then it’s a subtle yet powerful sign of their love for you.

When they discuss their dreams and ambitions, and they mention how you fit into those plans, it’s their way of showing that they want you to be a part of their future.

Whether it’s a casual comment about holiday plans five years down the line or a serious discussion about caring for you when you’re older, these are all indications of their deep-rooted love.

So the next time your adult child talks about their future and you find yourself in their plans, know that it’s their way of reassuring you, “I love you, and I always will.”

8) They show up when it matters

The ultimate sign of your adult child’s love for you is their presence when it truly matters.

When life throws curveballs at you, and they stand by your side, it’s their way of saying, “I’m here for you.”

Their constant support during tough times is their love language. It’s a clear sign that they value your well-being and comfort above all else.

If your adult child shows up when you need them the most, know that it’s their way of expressing their unspoken love for you.

Embracing the unspoken love

If you’ve journeyed with me so far, hopefully, you’ve gained a deeper understanding of the subtle ways your adult child expresses their love.

Remember, it’s not always about grand gestures or spoken words. Love can often be found in the quiet moments, the tiny details that are easily overlooked.

Just like a tree’s strength lies in its roots and not just its visible branches, the love of your adult child might be deeply rooted in their actions, even if they’re not wearing it on their sleeve.

So, take a moment to reflect on these signs. You’ll find that their unspoken “I love you” echoes in every small act of kindness, every shared vulnerability, and every moment they stand by your side.

In the end, it’s these subtle signs that truly embody the depth of their love for you.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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