7 subtle phrases that indicate a person with poor character, according to psychology

For years, I’ve been fascinated by the complexities of human behavior.

Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a self-proclaimed psychology enthusiast.

I was a young adult during my early 20s, I found myself constantly misjudging people, misunderstanding their intentions, and getting hurt in the process.

I was navigating through life with a clouded lens, unable to decipher the subtleties of human character.

That was until I stumbled upon some intriguing psychological studies on character judgement. These studies revealed seven subtle phrases that could indicate a person with poor character.

In this article, we’re going to delve into these phrases. They’ve transformed the way I perceive people and have even helped me develop a deeper understanding of my own character.

I hope they can do the same for you. Let’s dive in.

1) “I’ve always been this way”

This statement, seemingly harmless on the surface, might raise a red flag. It’s often used as a deflective tactic, a way to avoid responsibility for one’s actions or behavior.

Just like I once was, people who regularly use this phrase can be stuck in their ways, unwilling to grow or change. They may see their personality traits as fixed and unchangeable, rather than something that can be improved upon.

The world of psychology tells us that personal growth is a lifelong journey, and we should always strive for self-improvement and development.

Although it’s natural to have certain personality traits, refusing to acknowledge or work on negative aspects demonstrates poor character.

This phrase taught me a valuable lesson: we should always be open to change and growth. Recognizing and addressing our shortcomings is the first step towards becoming better individuals. If you encounter someone who resists this idea, tread carefully.

2) “Everyone else is doing it”

This is a phrase I’ve personally heard more times than I can count. It’s an excuse often used to justify questionable actions or decisions.

In my early 20s, I had a friend who was always using this line to defend his poor choices, from trivial matters like copying others’ assignments to more serious issues like engaging in illegal activities.

While I initially brushed it off, it started to worry me when I realized he was using the phrase as a crutch, a way to shirk personal responsibility and conform to the crowd.

This phrase brings to mind a quote from one of my favorite psychologists, Carl Jung: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

Jung’s wisdom serves as a reminder that we should strive for authenticity and not blindly follow the crowd. Using the actions of others as a yardstick for our own behavior may lead us astray.

If you come across someone who frequently uses this phrase, it may indicate a lack of personal integrity and a tendency to succumb to peer pressure. Always remember, true character lies in forging our own path, not mindlessly following others’.

3) “It’s not my fault”

I’ll never forget when I first encountered this phrase. It was during a group project in university. One of our team members consistently missed deadlines and contributed very little to the project. Yet, whenever we confronted him, his go-to explanation was always, “It’s not my fault.”

This phrase can be a red flag for blame-shifting, a common tactic of individuals with poor character. Rather than taking responsibility for their actions, they pass the buck, pointing fingers at others to avoid accountability.

Personal responsibility is a crucial part of character development. It involves acknowledging our mistakes and learning from them. People who constantly deflect blame are often unwilling to learn and grow from their errors.

If someone in your life frequently uses this phrase, it could suggest they have a poor character trait of evading responsibility. It’s essential to remember that admitting our faults doesn’t make us weak – it shows strength and maturity.

4) “That’s just how I feel”

This phrase is often used to justify irrational or harmful behavior. It can indicate a lack of emotional intelligence, which is a key aspect of good character.

I recall a former colleague who would often lash out during team meetings. When confronted about her behavior, she’d simply shrug and say, “That’s just how I feel.”

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that individuals with high emotional intelligence are more likely to demonstrate pro-social behaviors and have better interpersonal relationships.

Emotional intelligence involves recognizing and managing our emotions and understanding the emotions of others. Using feelings as an excuse for inappropriate behavior suggests a lack of this crucial skill.

If you encounter someone who frequently uses this phrase to justify their actions, it could be a sign of poor character. Remember, understanding and managing our emotions is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and demonstrating good character.

5) “I don’t care what others think”

On the surface, this phrase might seem like a sign of confidence or self-assuredness. But in my experience, it can often indicate an unwillingness to consider the feelings or perspectives of others.

Years ago, I had a neighbor who played loud music late into the night. Despite numerous complaints from other residents, his response was always the same: “I don’t care what others think.”

While it’s healthy not to be excessively swayed by the opinions of others, completely disregarding how our actions affect those around us can suggest a lack of empathy—one of the key traits of good character.

If you come across someone who frequently uses this phrase, it might be a sign they lack consideration for others. Remember, showing empathy and respect for others’ feelings and viewpoints is a vital part of good character.

6) “I deserve better”

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s crucial to recognize our worth and strive for what we deserve. However, when this phrase is repeatedly used without any self-reflection or efforts to improve one’s situation, it can indicate a sense of entitlement – a trait often associated with poor character.

I once had a roommate who was perpetually dissatisfied with his job but never made any efforts to improve his skills or look for better opportunities. “I deserve better,” he’d often say, but his actions didn’t match his words.

This reminds me of a quote by the renowned psychologist Albert Bandura: “People with high assurance in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided.”

Bandura’s words stress the importance of proactive action rather than passive complaints. If someone frequently uses this phrase without making any efforts to change their circumstances, it might indicate a lack of initiative and personal responsibility—key aspects of good character.

7) “I’m just being honest”

While honesty is generally a virtue, when this phrase is used as an excuse for being rude or hurtful, it can indicate a lack of tact and emotional intelligence.

I used to know someone who would often make unkind remarks about others and then justify it by saying, “I’m just being honest.” What they didn’t realize was that their ‘honesty’ was causing pain and discomfort to those around them.

This might seem counterintuitive, because isn’t honesty a good thing? Yes, but it’s crucial to balance honesty with kindness and empathy. As the saying goes, “Honesty without tact is cruelty.”

If you encounter someone who frequently uses this phrase to justify their harsh words, it could be a sign of poor character. Remember, it’s possible to be honest while still being kind and considerate.

A practical tip to navigate this is to practice the ‘sandwich feedback’ method: start with a positive comment, insert your critique or ‘honest’ feedback, and then end with another positive comment.

This approach can help ensure that honesty doesn’t turn into unnecessary harshness.

Conclusion

Understanding these subtle phrases that may indicate poor character can help us navigate relationships more effectively and even assist in our self-awareness and growth.

However, it’s crucial to remember that we’re all human and prone to occasional lapses. One-off occurrences of these phrases don’t necessarily signify poor character. But if they’re a recurring theme, it might be a sign to tread carefully.

At the end of the day, the best way to judge character is through consistent actions over time, not just words.

Here’s a practical piece of advice: Practice active listening. Pay attention not only to what people say but also how they behave. And most importantly, always strive for growth and self-improvement—we can all better our character with conscious effort.