James Carter
If someone tells you, “You’re too sensitive,” they might be trying to manipulate you. If they say, “I never said that,” when you know they did, they’re likely gaslighting you.
Sounds simple, right?
But the reality is far from it. The tactics of expert gaslighters are so subtle and crafty that a whopping 98% of people don’t even notice them.
Some people, however, are exceptional at spotting these devious phrases. They typically possess a keen understanding of human behaviour and emotions — a crucial key to self-improvement and mindfulness.
Today, I’m going to share 8 subtle phrases that expert gaslighters love to use. So buckle up, because we’re about to dive deep into the manipulative world of gaslighting.
1) “You’re overreacting”
We’ve all had moments where our emotions got the better of us. But, what happens when someone consistently tells you that you’re overreacting?
Sounds like a harmless phrase, right?
But in the hands of a skilled gaslighter, it’s a powerful tool of manipulation. They use it to make you second-guess your feelings, to minimize your reactions and to control the narrative.
It’s as if they’re saying, “Your feelings are not valid. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” This is a classic move to make you question your own perception and reality.
If you hear this phrase often, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate. Because remember, your emotions are valid and you have every right to express them.
2) “I don’t remember that”
Now, this one hits close to home.
Once, I had a friend who had a knack for forgetting things. At first, I brushed it off as a simple memory lapse. But then, it started happening more often. Important conversations we had, promises made – all conveniently forgotten.
It was like our realities were two parallel lines that never met. When I confronted them, all I’d get was, “I don’t remember that.”
This phrase is a gaslighter’s favorite. It’s a subtle way of rewriting history and making you doubt your own memory. By denying the existence of past events, they distort your perception and make you wonder if it ever happened or if it’s all in your head.
And let me tell you, that’s a dark and confusing place to be in. The key is to trust your memory and intuition. Don’t let anyone undermine your reality.
3) “You’re too sensitive”
Here’s a phrase you might recognize: “You’re too sensitive.”
It might sound like simple criticism, but it’s much more than that. It’s a way for gaslighters to shift blame onto you, make your reactions seem excessive, and invalidate your feelings.
And guess what? Research shows that this kind of emotional invalidation can lead to serious mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression.
So, if you find yourself constantly being labeled as “too sensitive,” it might be time to reassess the situation. It could be more than just harmless criticism – it could be gaslighting.
4) “You’re imagining things”
Sometimes, it’s not your memory that’s questioned, but your sanity.
If you’ve ever been told that you’re imagining things when you try to confront someone about their actions, you might be dealing with a gaslighter. This phrase is another way for them to distort your perception of reality and make you question your sanity.
They make it seem like you’re creating scenarios in your head that aren’t based on fact. And the more they repeat it, the more you start doubting yourself – classic gaslighting.
Remember, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust your gut, and don’t let anyone make you believe that you’re “imagining things.”
5) “I was just joking”
Ah, the classic “I was just joking” excuse. I’ve heard it more times than I care to remember, and let me tell you, it’s rarely as innocent as it seems.
When a gaslighter uses this phrase, they’re usually trying to mask an offensive or hurtful comment. If you react negatively, they quickly retreat behind the guise of humor, making you feel like you’re overreacting.
In the past, I’d find myself wondering if I was indeed being too sensitive. But over time, I realized that it’s not about being sensitive; it’s about respecting boundaries.
If someone constantly hides behind the “I was just joking” shield, take note. It could be a sign of gaslighting.
6) “I’m worried about you”
Sometimes, gaslighting can come disguised as concern.
Statements like “I’m worried about you” can seem caring on the surface, but in the context of gaslighting, they’re often used to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
The gaslighter uses concern as a way to undermine your confidence and self-esteem, making you feel dependent on them. This dependency is then used to control and manipulate you further.
It’s a tricky tactic, because it makes you question whether the person is actually toxic or just genuinely worried. But remember, true concern doesn’t make you feel inferior or flawed. It uplifts and offers support, not criticism.
7) “No one else thinks that”
Ever faced a situation where your opinion was dismissed because “no one else thinks that”?
This is a common phrase gaslighters use to isolate you and make you feel like your opinions are invalid. By suggesting that everyone else disagrees with you, they make you feel alone in your thoughts.
It’s a powerful manipulation tactic that can make you question the validity of your own beliefs and opinions.
But here’s the thing: just because someone says “no one else thinks that,” it doesn’t necessarily make it true. Keep in mind that your thoughts and opinions are valid, regardless of whether others agree or not.
8) “You’re making things up”
The final, and perhaps the most damaging phrase gaslighters use is, “You’re making things up.”
This is their ultimate weapon to make you doubt your own reality. By accusing you of fabricating events or conversations, they cause you to question your memory, and ultimately, your sanity.
But here’s the most important thing to remember: Trust in yourself.
You are not making things up. You are not crazy. And you certainly don’t deserve to be manipulated or gaslighted. Stand firm in your experiences and perceptions. They are valid and they are real.
Understanding gaslighting
If you’ve come this far in the article, hopefully, you’re feeling a bit more equipped to spot the subtle phrases that expert gaslighters love to use.
Remember, gaslighting has nothing to do with your worth or credibility. It’s all about manipulation and control. It’s about a gaslighter’s need to dominate the narrative and distort reality.
If you can recognize this, then you are not just aware of gaslighting. You’re on your way to protect yourself from it.
And here’s a powerful quote by George Orwell that I think sums up this topic: “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”
Remember, trust in your experiences. Trust in your memories. They are valid, they are real, and they belong to you.
Take some time to reflect on this. And always remember, your reality is yours alone, don’t let anyone distort it.
