7 subtle phrases a man will use when he’s quietly struggling through life, says psychology

There was a time in my life when I felt completely lost—but I never really talked about it.

Like a lot of men, I kept things bottled up. I told myself I was “fine” even when I wasn’t. I threw myself into work, avoided difficult conversations, and brushed off any concerns from people around me.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t as good at hiding my struggles as I thought. The truth is, when a man is quietly struggling through life, it often shows in the small things he says—subtle phrases that reveal more than he intends.

As a psychology enthusiast and someone who’s been there myself, I want to share seven phrases that men often use when they’re going through tough times. If you recognize them in yourself or someone you care about, it might be time to dig a little deeper.

Let’s get into it.

1) “I’m just tired”

This is one of the most common phrases a man will use when he’s quietly struggling.

On the surface, it sounds harmless—everyone gets tired, right?

But when a man repeatedly says this, especially when there’s no clear reason for his exhaustion, it could mean something deeper.

Psychologists say that emotional struggles often manifest as physical fatigue. When a man feels overwhelmed, stressed, or disconnected from life, his mind and body can respond with constant tiredness. It’s easier to say “I’m just tired” than to admit, “I feel lost” or “I don’t know what to do.”

If you hear this phrase from someone often, don’t just brush it off. Instead of asking, “Did you get enough sleep?” try something deeper: “Is something on your mind?”

Sometimes, all it takes is the right question for someone to open up.

2) “I’m good, don’t worry about it”

I used to say this all the time, even when I was anything but “good.”

Whenever a friend or family member asked how I was doing, I’d brush it off with a quick “I’m good, don’t worry about it.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk—I just didn’t know how.

Admitting I was struggling felt like weakness, so I convinced myself that keeping it in was the better option.

But the truth is, bottling things up only made it worse. Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “What you resist, persists.”

The more I ignored my struggles, the heavier they became. Stress turned into anxiety, anxiety turned into exhaustion, and before I knew it, I felt completely disconnected from the people around me.

If you notice someone constantly dismissing concerns with “I’m good” or “Don’t worry about it,” take a moment to check in again.

3) “I just need to get through this”

For a long time, this was my go-to phrase.

I told myself that if I could just get through the next week, the next project, or the next problem, things would finally get better. I was always waiting for some imaginary finish line where life would suddenly feel easier.

But that line kept moving. No matter how much I pushed through, there was always something else waiting on the other side—more stress, more pressure, more things to deal with.

I wasn’t really living; I was just surviving.

Looking back, I realize this phrase was a way of avoiding how I really felt. Instead of admitting that I wasn’t okay, I convinced myself that things would magically improve if I just kept going.

But change didn’t happen until I stopped running on autopilot and actually addressed what was making me unhappy in the first place.

If you hear someone say this often, it might be a sign they’re stuck in survival mode.

Sometimes, they don’t need advice or solutions—they just need someone to remind them that life isn’t meant to be endured, it’s meant to be lived.

4) “I don’t care anymore”

There was a time in my life when I felt completely drained, and this was the phrase that kept slipping out.

“I don’t care anymore” became my way of protecting myself. If I convinced myself that nothing mattered—work, relationships, even my own happiness—then I wouldn’t have to deal with the disappointment of things not going my way.

But deep down, I did care. I just felt too exhausted to keep trying.

Psychologists call this emotional exhaustion, and research backs it up.

A study published found that when people experience chronic stress and burnout, they often disconnect emotionally as a defense mechanism. Instead of expressing frustration or sadness, they withdraw and act indifferent—even when they still care deep inside.

If someone close to you keeps saying they “don’t care” about things that used to matter to them, it might not be true apathy—it could be a sign they’re emotionally drained.

What they probably need isn’t pressure to “snap out of it,” but understanding, patience, and space to open up when they’re ready.

5) “I just have a lot on my plate right now”

I used to say this whenever someone asked how I was doing.

It felt like a safe answer—something that explained my stress without actually revealing too much. It made it sound like I was just busy, when in reality, I was overwhelmed and barely holding things together.

The problem with this phrase is that it can mask deeper struggles.

Sure, life gets busy for everyone, but when someone constantly uses this line, it might mean they’re feeling completely overloaded—not just with work, but with emotions they don’t know how to process.

For me, saying “I have a lot on my plate” was easier than admitting I felt stuck, directionless, and unsure of how to fix things.

Looking back, what I really needed was for someone to ask, “Is it just work, or is something else going on?”

That small shift in the conversation might have made all the difference.

6) “I’m just not feeling like myself lately”

I remember saying this to a friend once, and even as the words left my mouth, I wasn’t sure what they really meant.

At the time, I felt disconnected from everything—my goals, my passions, even the people around me. I wasn’t necessarily sad or angry, but something felt off. I was going through the motions of my life, but it didn’t feel like me.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

When I finally took a step back and became aware of just how disconnected I felt, I realized that something needed to change. The problem wasn’t that life had suddenly become meaningless—it was that I had stopped engaging with it in a way that felt true to who I was.

If someone tells you they’re “not feeling like themselves,” don’t overlook it. It might be their way of expressing something deeper—stress, burnout, or even signs of depression.

7) “I’m fine”

This might be the most misleading phrase of them all.

You’d think that when someone says “I’m fine,” they actually mean it—but often, the opposite is true. When a man is struggling, admitting it can feel uncomfortable or even embarrassing. Saying “I’m fine” is a way of shutting down the conversation before it even begins.

What makes this counterintuitive is that the more someone insists they’re fine, the more likely it is that something is wrong. Psychologists call this emotional suppression—the habit of pushing down emotions instead of expressing them.

Studies show that suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away; in fact, it can make stress and anxiety worse over time.

So what can you do if someone in your life keeps saying they’re fine, but you suspect otherwise?

Instead of pushing for answers, try creating a safe space for them to talk. Say something like, “I know you say you’re fine, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

Knowing they have that option is enough for them to open up when they’re ready.

Final thoughts

When a man is struggling, he won’t always say it outright—but if you pay attention, the signs are there.

If you recognize these phrases in yourself, take a step back and ask: Am I really okay, or am I just avoiding the truth?

Ignoring your emotions won’t make them disappear. Talking to a trusted friend, journaling, or even just admitting to yourself that you’re struggling can be the first step toward real change.

And if you notice these phrases in someone else, don’t rush to fix things—just listen. A simple “I’m here if you ever want to talk” can be more powerful than you think.

Struggles don’t have to be faced alone. Sometimes, all it takes is one honest conversation to start turning things around.