Minh Tran
I’ve always believed that recognizing our emotional state is the first step towards achieving emotional health.
Yet, there’s a silent epidemic I’ve noticed among us.
It’s called emotional survival mode.
Here’s the kicker.
You may be stuck in it and not even realize you’ve been living this way for years.
So, if you’re sitting there wondering, “Am I in emotional survival mode?” or “What on earth is emotional survival mode?” you’re in the right place!
In this article, we’ll delve into 7 signs that you could be trapped in an emotional survival state, possibly without even knowing it..
Why not take a few moments to explore these signs? You never know, it might just be the nudge you need to shift your emotional gears.
1) You’re constantly on edge
Ever feel like you’re permanently on high alert?
When you’re in emotional survival mode, it’s like your body and mind are always ready for a fight. The slightest hint of conflict or discomfort can set off an extreme reaction.
You see, our bodies are designed to respond to threats. It’s a survival instinct. But being constantly on edge isn’t just about reacting to physical threats. It’s also about emotional ones.
If you find yourself feeling tense, anxious, or overwhelmed more often than not, it might be a sign that you’re stuck in this mode.
Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel these emotions from time to time. However, when they become the norm rather than the exception, it’s worth taking note and exploring why that might be the case.
After all, self-awareness is the first step towards mindfulness and emotional balance.
2) You’re emotionally drained
You know, there was a time when I used to wake up feeling exhausted, despite having a full night’s sleep.
I’d start my day with a sense of dread, feeling like I was running on empty. Even the simplest tasks felt like climbing a mountain and by the end of the day, I was utterly spent.
I later realized that I was emotionally drained. My energy reserves were depleted not by physical exertion, but by emotional strain.
Why does this matter?
Well, when you’re in emotional survival mode, your feelings are like a roller coaster ride. It’s like being stuck in a storm of emotions that leaves you feeling depleted and worn-out.
It took me some time to understand that this constant state of emotional exhaustion was a sign that I had been living in survival mode for a long time.
So if you find yourself constantly feeling emotionally drained, even after ample rest, it might be your body signaling that you’re stuck in emotional survival mode.
Acknowledging this is not an admission of weakness, but an act of bravery towards understanding and improving yourself.
3) You’re numb to your feelings
Do you ever experience moments or even stretches of time where you feel…nothing?
I’m talking about an emotional flatline. A void that’s as unsettling as a storm.
Take it from me, I’ve been there.
There were periods when I felt so disconnected from myself that I couldn’t even identify the emotions I was experiencing. It was as if a thick fog had descended, obscuring my emotional landscape.
This numbness, this disconnection, is yet another sign of being in emotional survival mode. It’s like your mind has built a fortress around your emotions to protect you from feeling anything too deeply.
But here’s the catch.
While this might help you get through tough times, it can disconnect you from experiencing joy, love, excitement and all the beautiful emotions that make life worth living.
If you often find yourself in this emotional no man’s land, it may be time to pause and reflect. Because embracing our feelings—both good and bad—is an integral part of our mental and emotional well-being.
4) You struggle with relationships
When you’re in emotional survival mode, forming and maintaining healthy relationships can feel like an uphill battle. Trust me, I’ve been there.
You might find yourself pushing people away, or perhaps you’re constantly latching onto others for emotional support. Either way, it’s a struggle.
And here’s why.
Being stuck in survival mode can make you hyper-vigilant about potential threats, even in your relationships. It’s like walking on eggshells, always afraid that the slightest misstep could cause everything to crumble.
The thing is, while it’s natural to experience ups and downs in relationships, constant strife and turmoil is an indicator that something deeper might be at play.
And if you’ve been struggling with your relationships, it might be worth reflecting on whether emotional survival mode is the hidden culprit. After all, understanding our own emotions is the first step toward building healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
5) You’re stuck in the past or worried about the future
Did you know that where your mind tends to wander can tell a lot about your emotional state?
Let me explain.
If you find yourself constantly replaying past events or worrying about future scenarios, it could be a sign that you’re in emotional survival mode.
Your mind, in an effort to protect you, might keep you anchored in the past to avoid repeating mistakes. Or it might project you into the future to prepare for potential threats.
In essence, it’s like your mind is stuck in a time warp, unable to live in the present.
While it’s human nature to reflect on the past and plan for the future, being excessively focused on these can rob us of the joy of living in the now.
And living in the now is key to achieving mindfulness, a state of being fully engaged and present with our experiences.
6) You’re too hard on yourself
I want you to stop for a moment and ask yourself: How often do you criticize yourself?
You see, when you’re in emotional survival mode, you might have a tendency to be your own harshest critic. Believe me, I know what that’s like.
You might berate yourself for every perceived flaw or mistake, holding yourself to impossibly high standards. And when you inevitably fall short, the cycle of self-criticism starts all over again.
It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to have flaws. Because guess what? We all do. It’s part of being human.
And while striving for improvement is admirable, constant self-criticism can be harmful and is often a sign that you’re in emotional survival mode.
If you find that you’re often beating yourself up, it might be time to show some kindness and compassion towards yourself. Because you deserve it, just as much as anyone else.
7) You ignore your needs
This is perhaps the most important sign of being in emotional survival mode: Ignoring your own needs.
When you’re stuck in this state, you may find yourself consistently putting others’ needs before your own, often to your own detriment.
You might skip meals, lose sleep, or overlook your emotional well-being in the name of obligation or duty.
Ignoring your own needs is not sustainable and it can take a serious toll on your emotional health.
So if you find yourself constantly sidelining your own needs, it might be time to pause and reflect.
Why?
Because acknowledging and attending to your own needs is not selfish—it’s essential for your emotional well-being. And trust me when I say this, your well-being matters.
Final thoughts
If you find yourself nodding to these signs, it’s possible you’ve been in emotional survival mode for quite some time.
But here’s the silver lining – this doesn’t have to be your permanent state.
With self-awareness and a little bit of work, you can shift from mere survival to a state of emotional thriving. It’s about balance and mindfulness.
Once these patterns become visible, it becomes easier to pause, reflect and make conscious choices that foster your emotional health.
It won’t be an overnight transformation. After all, old habits are tough to break.
But with consistent effort and mindfulness, you can gradually change how you respond to emotional triggers. Every small step towards acknowledging and addressing your own needs builds self-trust and emotional resilience.
Nurturing your emotional health is not a selfish act—it’s essential for your well-being. And when you’re emotionally healthy, you’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges, build strong relationships and recover from setbacks.
And most importantly, remember that every step you take brings you closer to finding your most authentic self—one that thrives rather than just survives.
