7 signs somebody will be your friend for life, according to psychology

There’s nothing quite like having a true friend by your side.

The kind of friend who sticks around through life’s ups and downs. Who gets you. Who makes you feel seen, heard, and accepted—no matter what.

For years, I struggled to find deep, lasting friendships. I had plenty of acquaintances, but few people I could truly rely on. And honestly? It left me feeling disconnected and lonely.

But as I dove deeper into psychology and human connection, I started noticing patterns—clear signs that separate lifelong friends from temporary ones.

Now, as the founder of Hack Spirit and a lifelong student of human behavior, I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

In this article, we’ll go over seven psychological signs that someone will be your friend for life. If you recognize these in someone, hold onto them—they’re rare and worth keeping around.

Let’s dive in.

1) They genuinely celebrate your success

A true friend isn’t just there for you during tough times—they’re also there to celebrate your wins, big or small.

Have you ever shared good news with someone, only to feel like their excitement was forced or short-lived? That’s a red flag.

Real friendships are built on mutual support, not silent competition. A lifelong friend will truly be happy for you when things go well.

They won’t downplay your achievements or make it about themselves. Instead, they’ll cheer you on, encourage you, and maybe even get more excited than you do.

I’ve learned that this kind of support is rare and invaluable. When you find someone who celebrates your success as if it were their own, hold onto them—they’re a friend worth keeping.

2) They stick around when life gets messy

It’s easy to be friends when life is good—when you’re fun to be around, when you’re happy, when things are going well. But real friendship is tested in the hard times.

I learned this the tough way a few years ago. I was going through one of the lowest points of my life—struggling with anxiety, feeling lost, and not exactly the best company to be around. Some friends slowly faded away, too busy or uninterested to check in.

But one friend, Jake, showed up for me in a way I’ll never forget.

He didn’t try to fix things or give me endless advice. He just listened. He sat with me in my mess and made sure I knew I wasn’t alone. That’s when I realized: real friends don’t run when things get uncomfortable—they stay.

The psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.” That’s exactly what Jake did for me.

If someone is there for you even when you’re not at your best, that’s a sign they’re a friend for life.

3) You can be your unfiltered self around them

Have you ever been around someone and felt like you had to watch what you said, act a certain way, or filter parts of yourself just to fit in? I have—and let me tell you, it’s exhausting.

For years, I had friendships where I felt like I had to play a role. I’d hold back my opinions, laugh at jokes I didn’t find funny, and avoid talking about the things that really mattered to me. I thought that was just how friendships worked.

Then I met my friend Sarah. From the start, something felt different. I didn’t have to fake anything around her—I could just be. I could talk about my weird interests, admit when I was struggling, and even sit in silence without it feeling awkward. And she did the same with me.

That’s when I realized: the best friendships don’t require effort in pretending. They allow you to be fully yourself—flaws, quirks, and all. If you have someone in your life who makes you feel that level of ease, they’re a friend worth holding onto.

4) They make an effort to stay in touch

Life gets busy. Work, responsibilities, and endless to-do lists can make it easy to lose touch with people. But a true friend? They’ll make the effort—no matter how hectic life gets.

I used to think that if a friendship was real, it would just naturally last. But I’ve learned that even the strongest friendships require some level of effort. 

Science backs this up: a study published in Communication Research found that friendships are more likely to last when both people make an effort to stay in touch, even through small gestures like texting or checking in occasionally. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about consistency.

If someone makes the effort to reach out and keep the friendship alive, even when life gets in the way, that’s a strong sign they’ll be a friend for life.

5) They’re honest with you—even when it’s hard

A real friend won’t just tell you what you want to hear—they’ll tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s uncomfortable.

I remember a time when I was stuck in a toxic cycle with a job that was draining me. I complained about it constantly but never did anything to change my situation. Most people just nodded along or gave vague encouragement.

But my friend Emily? She sat me down and said, “Look, I know this job is making you miserable, but you keep making excuses instead of taking action. What are you actually going to do about it?”

At first, it stung. But deep down, I knew she was right. And because I trusted her, I listened. That conversation was the push I needed to finally make a change.

A lifelong friend isn’t afraid to be honest with you—because they care more about your well-being than about keeping things comfortable. If someone in your life is willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s not easy, that’s a friendship worth holding onto.

6) They support your growth

The best friends don’t just accept you as you are—they also encourage you to grow into the best version of yourself.

A few years ago, I was stuck in my comfort zone. I had dreams of starting Hack Spirit, but I kept doubting myself, afraid of failing. Then my friend Daniel stepped in. He didn’t just say, “You’ll be fine”—he pushed me to take action. He reminded me of what I was capable of, challenged my excuses, and even held me accountable when I wanted to quit.

That kind of support is rare but powerful. As Abraham Maslow, the psychologist behind the hierarchy of needs, once said: “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

A true friend will always push you toward growth—not by forcing you, but by believing in you when you don’t believe in yourself. If you have someone like that in your life, they’re worth keeping around forever

7) They don’t always agree with you

It might sound strange, but one of the biggest signs of a lifelong friend is that they’re not always on your side.

Sure, we all love having friends who support us, but a real friend won’t just agree with everything you say to keep the peace. They’ll challenge your ideas, call you out when you’re wrong, and offer a different perspective—because they care more about honesty than avoiding conflict.

I used to think that strong friendships meant always being on the same page. But one of my closest friends, Matt, changed my mind. We’ve had debates on everything from life choices to personal beliefs.

And while we don’t always see eye to eye, our friendship has only grown stronger because of it.

Want to test this in your own friendships?

The next time you disagree with a close friend, pay attention to how you both handle it. If they can challenge you without disrespecting you—and if you can do the same for them—you’ve got something rare: a friendship built to last.

The bottom line

True friendship isn’t about how long you’ve known someone—it’s about the depth of the connection you share.

If you recognize these signs in someone, don’t take them for granted. Nurture the friendship. Reach out, show appreciation, and make time for them.

And if you don’t have a friend like this yet? That’s okay. Be the kind of friend you want to have. Support others, be honest, and show up when it matters. The right people will recognize that—and they’ll stick around for life.