Eliza Hartley
There’s a subtle line between wanting to belong and pretending to be something you’re not.
Take the middle class, for instance. They often strive to emulate the upper class, not necessarily out of envy, but more as an attempt to fit into a perceived better lifestyle.
This emulation isn’t always flashy or obvious. In fact, there are quieter ways people put on this ‘upper class’ facade.
In this piece, we’ll explore 7 subtle ways middle-class individuals often pretend to be part of the upper class.
This isn’t about judgment or mockery—it’s about understanding human nature, the desire to improve ourselves, and the lengths we go for societal acceptance.
1) Subtle upgrades
There’s a certain charm attached to the high-end segment, and middle-class individuals often feel the need to reflect this charm in their personal possessions.
This isn’t about buying a private jet or a mansion. No, these are subtler upgrades, often targeting day-to-day items that subtly hint at an ‘upper class’ lifestyle.
Take, for instance, a high-end coffee machine instead of a regular one. Or opting for designer kitchenware instead of the usual department store brands. These minor upgrades may not seem significant, but they’re an attempt to align with the class above.
It’s not necessarily bad—it’s human nature to aspire for better. But it’s essential to understand that these material possessions don’t truly define our worth or success.
At the end of the day, it’s our values and actions that truly matter. So, while it’s okay to seek improvement, remember not to lose sight of what’s genuinely important.
2) Fancy getaways
I’ve noticed this pattern in many of my middle-class friends and even within myself. When we plan vacations, there’s a subtle urge to choose destinations that carry an air of exclusivity.
A few years ago, I found myself planning a trip to Martha’s Vineyard, a popular vacation spot among the rich and famous. It wasn’t necessarily because I was particularly drawn to the place itself, but more because of the status it represented.
Looking back, I realize that it was an unconscious attempt to associate myself with a higher class. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to visit beautiful places, but it’s important to check our motivations.
Are we traveling for the experience and the joy of exploring new cultures? Or are we simply seeking a status symbol for our social media feeds?
Always remember, genuine fulfillment comes from authentic experiences, not from the validation we might get from others.
3) Name-dropping
This is a subtle one but it’s surprisingly common. Middle-class individuals often find themselves name-dropping high-end brands or influential people during conversations.
It’s not always about owning these high-end products or knowing these people personally. Sometimes, it’s simply about being associated with them in some way.
The psychology behind this is fascinating. Studies show that people often perceive those who mention high-status individuals or brands as being of a higher social status themselves.
However, it’s important to remember that our worth isn’t defined by the brands we wear or the people we know. Genuine connections and shared experiences hold a lot more value than any designer label.
4) Culinary sophistication
Food and drink can often serve as a status symbol, and middle-class individuals sometimes use this to their advantage.
They might start developing a taste for fine wines, artisanal cheeses, or gourmet cooking. And suddenly, conversations might revolve around the latest Michelin-star restaurants or the intricacies of French cuisine.
While there’s nothing wrong with broadening one’s culinary horizons, it’s important to remember why we’re doing it. If it’s out of genuine interest and a love for good food, that’s fantastic. But if it’s just an attempt to appear ‘classier’, it might be worth questioning our motivations.
After all, the joy of food lies in its ability to bring people together, regardless of class or status.
5) Education obsession
I’ve often found myself emphasizing the value of education a bit too much. It’s not just about the knowledge and skills, but about the prestige that comes with certain educational institutions.
When my son was applying for college, I found myself pushing him towards Ivy League schools. It was more than just wanting the best education for him; it was also about the prestige attached to these institutions.
It took me some time to realize that I was unconsciously trying to live an upper-class dream through my child. This realization made me step back and consider what truly matters – his happiness and passion.
Remember, the name of a school or university doesn’t define one’s intelligence or potential success. It’s what we do with our education that truly matters.
6) Art appreciation
Art has traditionally been associated with the upper class, and this association often influences middle-class individuals’ behavior. They may start frequenting art galleries, investing in paintings, or discussing contemporary art trends.
This shift is not always borne out of a genuine love for art. Sometimes, it’s an attempt to fit into an upper-class archetype that’s seen as cultured and sophisticated.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with developing an appreciation for art. But the real beauty of art lies in its ability to evoke emotion and provoke thought, not in the status it might confer.
Art is for everyone to enjoy, irrespective of their social class.
7) Overemphasis on etiquette
Etiquette has often been seen as a marker of upper-class refinement.
As a result, some middle-class individuals may go out of their way to learn and adhere to formal etiquette rules—everything from table manners to the right way to write a formal invitation.
While it’s important to be polite and respectful, an overemphasis on formal etiquette can sometimes come across as pretentious and insincere. It’s the kindness, respect, and authenticity behind our actions that truly matter.
Remember: class is not defined by how well we can mimic the behaviors of the upper class, but by how we treat ourselves and those around us.
Final thoughts: It’s all about authenticity
The complexities of human nature and our societal structures lead us to behave in certain ways. Aspirations to appear ‘upper class’ are just one manifestation of these complexities.
Every action we take, every object we purchase, or every behavior we adopt has a profound story to tell about our perceptions, preferences, and desires.
The quiet ways in which middle-class people often emulate the upper class reflect a deeper desire for societal acceptance and status.
And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with aspiring for a better lifestyle, it becomes a problem when we start losing our authenticity in the process.
Our true worth lies not in the labels we wear or the brands we associate ourselves with, but in our actions, values, and authentic selves.
Next time you find yourself yearning for that expensive coffee machine or that fancy vacation destination, take a moment to reflect on why.
It’s okay to aspire and improve, but let’s not lose our authenticity in the process. After all, being true to ourselves is the most classy thing anyone can do.
