People who seem happy on the surface but are broken underneath typically display these 7 subtle habits

Happiness isn’t always as it seems.

People often wear a mask of joy while they’re quietly battling inner demons. This facade can be so convincing, you’d never guess what hides beneath the surface.

These individuals, seemingly cheerful but broken inside, often exhibit certain subtle habits. Recognizing these patterns can help us better understand and empathize with the struggle that’s not always obvious at first glance.

I’m about to share 7 subtle habits typically displayed by people who are hurting beneath their happy exterior. In doing so, I hope to shed light on the importance of being mindful of our own and others’ emotional well-being, even when things seem just fine on the surface.

1) Masterful mask wearers

One of the most common habits of people who appear happy on the surface but are internally struggling is their ability to wear a convincing mask of happiness.

They’ve perfected the art of hiding their pain behind a radiant smile, a hearty laugh or an upbeat attitude. This facade is so convincing that it can be difficult to see through it unless you’re really paying attention.

Underneath this veneer, however, you’ll often find a world of hidden torment. They may be dealing with personal issues, mental health struggles or past traumas that they’re not ready or able to share with the world.

It’s important to remember that while this mask may be a coping mechanism, it’s not a solution. In fact, it can often lead to further emotional distress as these individuals suppress their feelings and avoid dealing with the root cause of their pain.

So next time you encounter someone who always seems to be happy, take a moment to look beyond the surface. There might be more going on than meets the eye.

2) They’re always there for others

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve observed this trait in people who are silently suffering. It’s almost as if they’ve made it their mission to be everyone else’s rock, their unwavering pillar of strength, even when they can barely hold themselves up.

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Amy. Always the life of the party, always the shoulder to cry on, always there to lend a helping hand. Amy was the epitome of happiness and positivity… or so it seemed.

But one day, she opened up to me about the struggles she was facing. The emotional turmoil she was going through while battling her own demons. All along, she’d been pouring herself into helping others, in an effort to distract herself from her own pain.

This habit of always being there for others can be an attempt to find purpose or escape from their own troubles. But in the long run, ignoring their own emotional needs can lead to burnout and further emotional distress.

Remember, it’s okay – and necessary – to put yourself first sometimes. Your mental health matters too.

3) They’re perfectionists

Perfectionism is often linked to high levels of anxiety and depression. People suffering internally might go to great lengths to create an image of perfection in their lives. They believe that if they can just get everything right, they might finally feel happy.

However, this relentless pursuit of perfection often does more harm than good. A study published in World Journal of Clinical Cases found that perfectionism can lead to increased stress, burnout, and a host of mental health issues.

These individuals may strive for perfection in all aspects of their lives—from their work and personal relationships to their physical appearance and social media presence.

The irony is that their relentless pursuit of perfection often exacerbates their internal struggles. It’s a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break free from. 

It’s okay not to be perfect. Embrace your flaws and imperfections—they’re what make you human.

4) They avoid personal questions

People who are hurting beneath a happy exterior often steer clear of deep, personal conversations. They might crack a joke or change the subject when things start to get too personal. They’re masters at diverting attention away from themselves.

This isn’t because they’re unfriendly or uninterested in others—quite the opposite. They often fear that letting people in might expose their inner turmoil.

They keep conversations light and superficial, carefully avoiding any topics that might lead to questions about their own feelings or experiences.

Remember, it’s important to respect someone’s boundaries if they’re not ready to open up. Let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk, but don’t push them into a conversation they’re not comfortable with.

5) They have irregular sleep patterns

There were times when I found myself awake at odd hours, my mind buzzing with thoughts, worries, and anxieties. Sleep was elusive, and when it did come, it was restless and fitful.

This is a common experience for those who are dealing with internal struggles. Their minds are often filled with thoughts and worries that keep them awake at night. They might suffer from insomnia or have an erratic sleep schedule.

On the other hand, they might also sleep more than usual as a form of escape from their problems. It’s a way to take a break from the pain, even if it’s just temporary.

Recognizing these irregular sleep patterns is an important step in understanding the silent battles these individuals are fighting. It’s also a reminder of how vital it is to seek help if you’re experiencing similar struggles.

6) They’re withdrawn

People who are dealing with hidden pain often withdraw from their loved ones. They might avoid social gatherings, spend a lot of time alone, or seem distant even when they’re in company.

This retreat is not about disliking company or being antisocial. It’s more about trying to manage their feelings in solitude and avoiding situations that may force them to put on a happy facade.

This isolation can sometimes exacerbate their internal struggles, as it deprives them of the love, support, and understanding that come from meaningful human connections.

So, if you notice someone pulling away, it’s crucial to let them know that they’re not alone and that there are people around them who care and want to help.

7) They’re empathetic

Perhaps one of the most striking traits of people who are silently suffering is their deep sense of empathy.

They often have a profound understanding of pain and hardship, which allows them to be highly empathetic towards others.

This empathy stems from their own personal experiences. They know what it’s like to suffer in silence, so they’re often the first to offer comfort and understanding to those in need.

Their ability to empathize, however, does not negate their need for empathy. Just as they are there for others, they too need someone who understands and validates their feelings.

Wrapping it up: Unseen battles

The human heart and mind are complex landscapes, filled with unseen battles and silent victories. People wearing a mask of happiness while dealing with internal struggles is a poignant reminder of this complexity.

Understanding these subtle habits is like unlocking a door to empathy. It allows us to truly see others, not just for their outward appearance, but for their inner struggles and triumphs.

The psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” This wisdom rings true when understanding the intricate layers of human emotions.

Remember, everyone carries their own set of challenges. The next time you interact with someone, pause for a moment and look beyond the surface. You never know what battles they might be fighting.

Let’s strive to be kind, understanding, and empathetic to each other’s struggles. After all, we’re all navigating through this complex journey called life together.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

If you want to maintain a youthful appearance as you get older, say goodbye to these behaviors

If you spend hours scrolling on your phone daily, you’re likely displaying these 8 traits according to psychology