People who never felt genuinely loved as children typically develop these behaviors later in life

When someone hugs you, it’s a sign of love. When they sit you down to talk about your day, it’s care.

Simple, right? Not always.

Consider this – what if those things were missing in your childhood? The human psyche is a maze and it gets more complicated when the love that should’ve been there, wasn’t.

Those who never felt genuinely loved as children often develop certain behaviors later in life. But what are these behaviors?

Let’s explore.

1) A constant need for validation

We all crave a pat on the back, right?

Well, for those who never felt genuinely loved as kids, this craving goes a bit deeper.

They develop a constant need for validation, seeking out approval and reassurance in places they might not usually find it.

And it’s not just about wanting to be told they’re doing a good job. It’s about proving to themselves and others that they’re worthy of love and attention.

A desire to fill that gaping hole left from their childhood.

It’s like they’re always on stage, performing for an invisible crowd, desperately hoping for applause. Only then can they feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.

If you notice someone constantly seeking validation, know that there could be a deeper reason behind it.

And remember – a little empathy goes a long way.

2) Difficulty in forming deep connections

You know, I’ve often found it hard to form deep, lasting relationships.

And I always wondered why that was. Then I realized – it stems from my childhood, a time when I never really felt genuinely loved.

For people like me, opening up is a Herculean task. We’re always on the defensive, putting up walls before anyone gets too close.

It’s like we’re stuck in this perpetual fear of being hurt or abandoned again.

I remember dating this wonderful person once. They were kind, understanding and genuinely cared for me.

But, I pushed them away because I was scared. Scared that they would leave me just like the love I never received as a child.

It’s not that we want to be alone. It’s just that the fear of not being loved back is often greater than the desire to connect. And that’s a tough barrier to overcome.

If you know someone who struggles with forming deep connections, be patient with them. They might just be fighting battles you know nothing about.

3) Overcompensating by being overly caring

People who didn’t receive genuine love as children often swing the other way and become exceedingly loving and caring adults.

This is a psychological response, a way of giving to others what they felt was lacking in their own childhood.

They are the ones who will go out of their way to make sure everyone else is comfortable, often at the expense of their own comfort.

They are the ones who will listen to your problems at 3 AM, even if they’re exhausted or have an early morning meeting.

People with a history of neglect in childhood were more likely to show altruistic behaviors as adults.

They strive to create a world devoid of the emotional neglect they experienced.

It’s like they’re trying to right a wrong, one act of kindness at a time.

But remember, while it’s admirable, it’s also important for them to take care of themselves too.

4) Struggling with self-esteem

When love and affirmation are scarce during childhood, it can leave lasting impacts on a person’s self-esteem.

Those who never felt genuinely loved often question their worth. They find it hard to believe that they’re good enough, competent enough, or simply… enough.

This doubt can seep into every aspect of their life – from their career to their personal relationships.

They may constantly compare themselves to others, believing that they always fall short. It’s like they’re stuck in a vicious cycle of self-deprecation and underachievement.

But here’s the thing – they’re not alone. And with the right support and encouragement, they can break free from this cycle and realize their true potential.

After all, everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, don’t you think?

5) Fear of rejection

I’ll be honest, rejection scares me. It scares a lot of us. But for people who never felt genuinely loved as children, this fear is magnified.

We worry that if we reveal our true selves, we will be rejected or abandoned, just like we were in our past.

This fear can make us overly cautious in our relationships, sometimes to the point of sabotaging them before they even have a chance to grow.

I’ve found myself pulling away from potential partners or friends out of fear that they would eventually leave.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy – I push them away before they have the chance to reject me.

It’s not easy to overcome this fear, but with understanding and patience, it’s possible.

After all, everyone deserves to feel accepted and loved for who they truly are.

6) Becoming overly independent

When you think of someone who hasn’t felt loved as a child, you might imagine a person who clings onto others for support and validation. Surprisingly, the exact opposite often happens.

Many who’ve grown up without feeling genuinely loved develop a strong sense of independence.

They learn to rely on themselves, believing that they can’t count on others to be there for them.

It’s like they’re constantly preparing for the worst, ready to take on the world alone.

They become self-sufficient to a fault, often pushing away help even when they genuinely need it. It’s their way of protecting themselves from disappointment.

While this resilience is admirable, it’s also important to remember that it’s okay to lean on others. We all need a helping hand sometimes, right?

7) Developing perfectionist tendencies

Often, those who never felt genuinely loved as children develop a tendency towards perfectionism in their later lives.

They strive to be flawless, believing that if they could just be perfect, they would finally be worthy of love and acceptance.

This manifests in them setting incredibly high standards for themselves, and then beating themselves up when they inevitably fall short.

It’s like they’re constantly running towards a finish line that keeps moving further away.

While striving for excellence is commendable, it’s crucial to remember that it’s okay to be human, to make mistakes. After all, nobody’s perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.

8) Resilience in the face of adversity

The most important thing to remember about people who never felt genuinely loved as children is their resilience.

Despite the hardships they faced, they’ve managed to navigate through life, often becoming stronger in the process.

They’re fighters, survivors, who’ve learned to adapt and persevere.

Their past might have left them with scars, but it’s also imbued them with a strength that’s truly admirable.

This resilience is a testament to their spirit.

And it’s a reminder that even in the face of adversity, we have the power to rise above and thrive.

Leaving footprints of resilience

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, you’ll understand that people who never felt genuinely loved as children often carry certain behaviors into adulthood.

It’s important to remember that these behaviors don’t define them.

These individuals, despite their challenging beginnings, are often some of the most resilient, empathetic, and caring people you’ll ever encounter.

They’ve turned their adversity into strength, their pain into compassion. And there’s a beauty in that transformation that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Just as Kahlil Gibran, a renowned poet and philosopher, once said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

If you know someone who fits this description or if you’re one of them yourself – remember this: your past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define you.

You are more than your experiences. You are resilient. You are strong.

And above all, you are worthy of love and acceptance.

Take a moment to let that sink in. Reflect on it.

Because recognizing the strength in adversity is the first step towards understanding, acceptance, and ultimately, healing.

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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