Isabella Chase
Ghosting. It’s a dating phenomenon that leaves the other person baffled and hurt. But here’s the thing: most guys who frequently ghost their dates don’t even realize they’re doing it.
There’s a pattern, a set of behaviors, that these men typically display. They might not even be aware that these actions lead to them disappearing without a trace.
In this piece, we’re going to unravel these behaviors, helping men understand and correct them, while also giving insight for those on the receiving end of ghosting.
So, let’s dive into the often-unseen world of men who frequently ghost their dates, without them even realizing it.
1) They keep things surface-level
Ghosting men often have a common trait: they struggle to go deep.
This isn’t necessarily about emotional intimacy, although that can be a part of it. It’s more about the nature of the conversations they have with their dates.
These men usually keep conversations light and surface-level. There’s a lot of small talk, discussions about hobbies or favorite movies, but very little about personal goals, dreams, or deeper emotions.
This behavior is often subconscious. The ghoster may not even realize they’re avoiding deeper connection. But by keeping things light, they make it easier to disappear without feeling too attached or guilty.
If you notice this pattern in your dating life, it might be time to ask yourself why you’re avoiding deeper connections. It could be a sign you’re not ready for a relationship, or perhaps you need to work on your communication skills.
On the flip side, if you’re on a date with someone who seems determined to keep things shallow, it might be a red flag that they’re likely to ghost.
2) They’re always “busy”
I remember once dating this guy who was always “busy”.
Every time I tried to make plans, he would say he’s swamped with work, or that he had a prior commitment. It was like trying to pin down a cloud. He was always just out of reach.
At first, I thought he was genuinely swamped, but as weeks turned into months, I realized this was his pattern. He was a perpetual ghoster.
These men often use the excuse of being busy to avoid committing to plans, thereby never fully investing in the relationship. This makes it easier for them to disappear without much explanation.
If you find yourself constantly avoiding making concrete plans with a date or if you’re dating someone who’s always too busy, it might be time to reassess.
Is it a genuine case of being overworked? Or is it a pattern of behavior paving the way for an eventual ghosting?
3) They have a history of short-term relationships
Men who frequently ghost their dates often have a track record of short-term relationships.
This is because maintaining a long-term relationship requires consistent communication, emotional investment, and a willingness to confront and resolve conflicts.
Many studies has found that people who ghost others are more likely to have had shorter relationships in the past.
The researchers believe this might be because these individuals lack the necessary skills or willingness to navigate difficult conversations that are essential for sustaining a relationship.
If you notice that your dating history is filled with short-lived relationships or you’re seeing someone with such a pattern, it might be an indicator of a tendency to ghost.
Recognizing this pattern can serve as an opportunity to address and break the cycle.
4) They avoid discussing future plans
Another common trait of men who frequently ghost their dates is their reluctance to discuss future plans.
These men often live in the present when it comes to dating. They enjoy the moments spent together but avoid conversations about next week, next month, or even just the next date.
By doing this, they keep their options open, making it easier for them to disappear without any obligation or explanation. They don’t make promises, so they don’t break any.
If you find yourself avoiding future-talk with your date, or if your date seems hesitant to make plans beyond the immediate future, it could be a sign that ghosting is on the horizon.
5) They struggle with vulnerability
At the heart of many ghosters is a struggle with vulnerability.
Opening up to someone, sharing your thoughts, fears, dreams, and insecurities, is a key part of forming a deep connection.
But it’s not easy. It takes courage to let someone see you, truly see you, with all your flaws and quirks.
Men who frequently ghost their dates often find this level of openness challenging. It’s easier for them to disappear than to face the possibility of rejection or judgment. They ghost not out of malicious intent, but from a place of fear and self-protection.
Understanding this can provide a level of empathy for those who ghost, while also serving as a reminder for those on the receiving end that it’s less about them and more about the ghoster’s internal struggles.
6) They’re non-committal in their responses
There was a time when I found myself giving non-committal responses to plans. “Maybe,” “We’ll see,” or “I’ll let you know,” were my go-to phrases.
This was a sign that I was not fully invested in the relationship. I was keeping my options open, and it made it easier for me to ghost without feeling like I had broken any promises.
Men who frequently ghost their dates often display this non-committal behavior. They avoid giving definite answers, keeping things vague and open-ended.
Recognizing this pattern in yourself or someone you’re dating can be an indicator of a potential tendency to ghost.
It’s an opportunity to reassess your level of commitment and take steps to address the issue if necessary.
7) They’re inconsistent in their communication
Inconsistency in communication is another common trait among men who frequently ghost their dates.
One day they might be texting non-stop, showering you with attention, and the next, they could be silent, barely responding to your messages. This uneven pattern can be confusing and frustrating for their dates.
This inconsistency often stems from an inability or unwillingness to maintain a steady level of communication.
It can also make it easier for them to ghost, as their absence might not be immediately noticeable.
If you notice a pattern of inconsistent communication in your dating behavior or that of your date, it could be a sign of an impending ghosting.
Recognizing this pattern can provide an opportunity to address the issue and improve communication habits.
8) They avoid difficult discussions
The most crucial trait common among men who frequently ghost their dates is their tendency to avoid difficult discussions.
Conversations about feelings, about where the relationship is heading, or about potential issues that have come up are often sidelined or ignored entirely.
This avoidance often stems from a fear of confrontation or a lack of skills to navigate such conversations.
However, these discussions are essential for developing and maintaining healthy relationships. By avoiding them, these men create an environment where ghosting becomes an easy escape route.
Understanding and acknowledging this behavior is the first step towards change. It’s not just about avoiding ghosting; it’s about learning to communicate effectively and build stronger, healthier relationships.
Final thought: It’s about awareness and growth
Understanding human behavior, especially when it comes to dating and relationships, is a complex endeavor.
Ghosting, as a phenomenon, is not an isolated act but a manifestation of various underlying behaviors. These behaviors often stem from fear – the fear of vulnerability, confrontation, and emotional attachment.
But at the heart of it all, it’s about awareness. Recognizing these behaviors in ourselves or in others is the first step towards meaningful change. It’s an invitation to introspect, communicate, and grow.
As Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
So, whether you’ve been ghosted, have ghosted someone, or are simply trying to navigate the intricacies of modern dating, remember: understanding leads to empathy; self-awareness leads to growth.
