As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that living a joyful and connected life isn’t just about what you do—it’s also about what you stop doing.
The truth is, some habits and behaviors might feel harmless at first, but over time, they can hold you back from experiencing the happiness and deep relationships you deserve.
If you’re heading into your 70s (or already there) and want this chapter of your life to be filled with meaning, love, and peace, it’s time to let go of certain things that no longer serve you.
Here are 7 behaviors to say goodbye to if you want your 70s to be rich with joy and connection.
1) Holding on to grudges
Let’s face it—grudges are heavy. They weigh you down emotionally and can create invisible walls between you and the people who matter most.
By the time you reach your 70s, life has probably given you plenty of reasons to feel hurt or disappointed. But carrying those feelings with you only drains your energy and steals your joy.
Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone else off the hook—it’s about freeing yourself. When you let go of old resentments, you make room for more peace, love, and connection in your life.
So if there’s a grudge you’ve been holding onto, ask yourself: is it worth sacrificing your happiness for?
2) Saying yes to everything
For most of my life, I had a hard time saying no. I didn’t want to disappoint people or seem unkind, so I’d say yes to things I didn’t really want to do—social events, favors, responsibilities that weren’t even mine.
It wasn’t until my late 50s that I realized how much this habit was costing me. I remember one day in particular: I had agreed to help organize a community event, even though I was already feeling stretched thin.
By the time the event rolled around, I was so exhausted and irritable that I didn’t enjoy it at all. Worse yet, I snapped at someone who meant well, which left me feeling terrible afterward.
That’s when it hit me—I wasn’t being kind by saying yes to everything. I was just spreading myself too thin and missing out on opportunities to spend my time in ways that truly mattered to me.
Now, I’ve learned that saying no isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you protect your time and energy, you can give your best self to the things and people that really light you up. It’s one of the best lessons I’ve embraced as I’ve gotten older.
3) Dwelling on the past
It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of replaying old memories—both good and bad. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about mistakes I made decades ago or wishing I could relive certain moments. But here’s the thing: when your mind is tied up in the past, it robs you of the ability to truly enjoy the present.
Mindfulness has taught me that life happens now. The more we anchor ourselves in the present, the richer and more fulfilling our experiences become. It’s not always easy, but learning to gently redirect my thoughts back to the here and now has completely changed the way I live my life.
In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I share simple but powerful techniques to help you let go of what’s behind you and fully embrace what’s right in front of you. These tools have helped me (and so many others) find more joy, calm, and connection in everyday life.
The past can’t be changed, but your relationship with it can. The sooner you stop dwelling on it, the more space you create for new memories and meaningful moments.
4) Comparing yourself to others
For years, I couldn’t help but measure myself against other people. I’d see someone who seemed healthier, wealthier, or more accomplished, and it would leave me feeling like I hadn’t done enough with my life. It didn’t matter how much I had achieved or how many blessings surrounded me—there was always someone out there who seemed to have more.
But here’s what I’ve learned: comparison is a trap. It shifts your focus away from what you do have and replaces it with feelings of lack and inadequacy. And the truth is, you never really know what someone else’s life is like behind the scenes.
I’ve found so much peace by shifting my attention inward. Instead of looking at what others are doing, I’ve started asking myself: What makes me feel fulfilled? What brings me happiness? When I focus on living in alignment with my own values and priorities, the need to compare just fades away.
There’s no prize for being “better” than anyone else – there’s so much joy in simply being yourself.
5) Avoiding difficult emotions
It might seem like the key to a joyful life is to focus only on the positive and avoid anything that feels uncomfortable. But, pushing away difficult emotions doesn’t make them go away—it just buries them deeper.
I tried to avoid feelings like sadness, anger, or fear. I’d tell myself to “stay strong” or “look on the bright side,” thinking that ignoring those emotions was the healthy thing to do. But over time, I realized that those unprocessed feelings still lingered beneath the surface, showing up in unexpected ways—like stress, fatigue, or even snapping at loved ones.
What I’ve come to understand is that allowing yourself to feel those tough emotions is actually one of the most healing things you can do. When you sit with your feelings instead of running from them, they lose their power over you.
It’s a strange paradox: by facing difficult emotions head-on, you create more space for joy and peace in your life.
So instead of avoiding what feels hard, try leaning into it with curiosity and compassion. You might just find that it helps you feel lighter and more connected than ever before.
6) Letting fear hold you back
Fear has a sneaky way of keeping us stuck. It whispers in your ear, “What if you fail? What if you look foolish? What if it’s too late?” And before you know it, you’ve talked yourself out of trying something new or stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Here’s the thing: staying “safe” often comes at the cost of growth and connection. Some of the most rewarding experiences in life—learning a new skill, making a new friend, or even just speaking your truth—require taking a leap of faith.
I’ve found that whenever I let fear call the shots, I end up feeling regretful. But when I push through it—even just a little—I almost always discover something worth the risk.
It’s not about being fearless; it’s about not letting fear be the boss of your life. Take small steps if you need to, but don’t let fear stop you from living fully.
7) Taking relationships for granted
The people in your life are what make it meaningful. But it’s easy to assume that the relationships you care about will always be there, even if you don’t nurture them. I’ve learned the hard way that time moves quickly, and so do opportunities to connect.
A simple phone call, a heartfelt “thank you,” or even just sitting together in silence can mean more than you realize. Don’t wait for a “perfect moment” to express your love or appreciation—it may never come. The most important connections in your life deserve your time and attention now.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how many years you’ve lived; it’s about how deeply you’ve loved and been loved in return.
The beauty of letting go
Life in your 70s is a unique chapter—one where the pace slows, priorities shift, and there’s more room for reflection. But it’s also a time when the weight of old habits and behaviors can feel heavier than ever.
Letting go of what no longer serves you isn’t just about creating space; it’s about stepping into a life that feels lighter, freer, and more aligned with who you are now.
One of the most powerful tools I’ve found for navigating this process is mindfulness. In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I share practical ways to cultivate presence and self-awareness so you can release what’s weighing you down and truly savor the richness of your life.
Because here’s the truth: joy and connection aren’t about chasing after something new—they’re about rediscovering what’s already within you. By letting go of grudges, comparisons, fears, and all the other behaviors that hold you back, you make room for deeper relationships, meaningful experiences, and a life that feels beautifully whole.
The choice to let go is yours—and every step you take toward it is a step closer to the peace and fulfillment you deserve.