Lucas Graham
Feeling valued and appreciated by others is one of life’s greatest joys. It strengthens our relationships, boosts our confidence, and gives us a sense of purpose and connection.
But here’s the thing: sometimes, the very behaviors we think are protecting us or helping us stand out might actually be pushing people away.
The good news? You can change that.
By letting go of certain habits and mindsets, you can make room for deeper, more meaningful connections—and invite more appreciation and respect into your life.
Ready to make the shift?
Let’s explore 7 behaviors to say goodbye to if you want to feel more valued and appreciated by the people around you.
1) Playing the victim
Let’s face it, it’s easy to fall into the victim mentality. It’s a defense mechanism that allows us to avoid taking responsibility for our actions and circumstances.
However, when we constantly portray ourselves as victims, we undermine our value and power.
Other people see it too, and it can make them reluctant to appreciate us because they see us as helpless or needy.
You’re not helpless. You’re probably far more powerful than you think.
Letting go of the victim mindset is the first step towards feeling more valued and appreciated by others.
2) Constant self-depreciation
I can’t count how many times I’ve used self-deprecating humor to lighten the mood or make others feel more comfortable.
It seemed harmless, just a bit of fun, right?
Well, then I noticed a pattern. The more I put myself down, even in jest, the less valued and appreciated I felt.
Others started to take my jokes as reality and began to treat me as less than I am.
The moment I decided to stop constantly belittling myself, I noticed a shift.
People’s perception of me started to change, and they began to value and appreciate me more.
If you’re like me and have a habit of self-depreciation, it’s time to say goodbye to it.
It’s not about inflating your ego, it’s about respecting yourself and allowing others to do the same.
3) Neglecting self-care
When was the last time you truly prioritized yourself—your rest, your well-being, your happiness?
If you can’t remember, something needs to change.
Experts, including those at Psych Central, highlight that neglecting self-care is linked to a host of negative outcomes: lower patience, feelings of hopelessness, and even diminished motivation to engage in social activities.
Let’s be real—none of these sound like a recipe for feeling valued or appreciated by others, right?
The truth is, we have to show up for ourselves before we can show up for others.
When we neglect our own needs, it becomes harder to foster the energy, positivity, and presence that attract appreciation from those around us.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean elaborate spa days. It’s about the basics: getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, taking time to recharge, and setting boundaries.
When you invest in yourself, it not only enhances your well-being but also allows others to see and appreciate the best version of you.
So, start treating self-care as a non-negotiable—because the better you care for yourself, the more others will value and respect you.
4) Seeking constant validation
It’s natural to want confirmation that we’re doing a good job or that our efforts are recognized.
However, when we constantly seek validation from others, it can make us appear insecure and dependent.
Moreover, when we rely on others to affirm our worth, we give them the power to determine our value.
More often than not, this leads to feelings of being undervalued and unappreciated.
Be confident in your abilities and decisions. Your worth isn’t determined by the opinions of others but by how you see yourself.
5) Failing to set boundaries
How often do we say “yes” when we really mean “no”?
It’s tempting to want to please everyone—agreeing to plans we don’t have the energy for, taking on extra work, or tolerating behavior that crosses our personal limits.
But here’s the thing: constantly ignoring your own needs to accommodate others doesn’t make you more appreciated; it often leads to feeling overlooked or even taken for granted.
Setting boundaries is not about being selfish—it’s about showing others that you value yourself and your time.
When you establish clear limits, you teach people how to treat you, and you create relationships built on mutual respect.
6) Overcompensating for others
I’ve always been the kind of person who steps in to help, even when it’s not my responsibility.
I thought it was just being kind and supportive, but over time I realized I was overcompensating for others.
This behavior can lead to feeling undervalued and unappreciated. When we constantly step in to take on tasks or solve problems for others, they may start to take our efforts for granted.
It’s important to understand that everyone has their own responsibilities and we’re not obliged to shoulder them.
It’s okay to step back and let others handle their own issues. This way, we allow them to appreciate our help when it’s genuinely needed and not just expected.
7) Not valuing yourself first
At the end of the day, the most crucial step towards feeling valued and appreciated by others is to value and appreciate yourself first.
When we respect ourselves, understand our worth, and refuse to settle for less, we set a standard that others will follow.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t expect others to value and appreciate you if you don’t do the same for yourself.
So start today. Value yourself, appreciate yourself, and watch as others follow suit.
Final thoughts: It starts with you
Feeling valued and appreciated starts with the choices we make and the behaviors we embrace.
By letting go of these seven habits, you can create stronger connections, inspire respect, and welcome more positivity into your life.
The way you treat yourself sets the tone for how others treat you.
Start showing yourself the love, respect, and appreciation you deserve, and the world will reflect it right back at you.
