James Carter
I like to think of myself as a good person. I’m sure you do, too.
But here’s the thing—being truly good isn’t just about big, obvious gestures like helping a friend in need or donating to charity. Sometimes, it’s the little, everyday habits that make all the difference.
And the truth is, we all have certain behaviors—small, seemingly harmless ones—that can hold us back from being the best version of ourselves.
If you really want to be seen as a kind, genuine person, it’s time to recognize these habits and let them go.
1) Stop interrupting people when they talk
We’ve all done it—jumped into a conversation before the other person has finished speaking.
Sometimes, it’s because we’re excited and can’t wait to share our thoughts. Other times, we think we already know what they’re going to say, so we cut them off.
But here’s the thing: interrupting someone, no matter the reason, sends a message that what you have to say is more important than what they are saying. And that’s not exactly a great look if you want to be seen as a kind and considerate person.
A truly good person listens—not just to respond, but to understand. So next time you’re in a conversation, take a breath, be patient, and let others finish their thoughts before you jump in.
2) Stop checking your phone when someone is talking to you
I used to have a bad habit of glancing at my phone mid-conversation, thinking it was harmless. I wasn’t ignoring the person—I was just quickly checking a message or scrolling for a second. No big deal, right?
But one day, a close friend called me out on it. “You know, it feels like you’re not really listening when you do that.”
That hit me hard because the truth was, I wasn’t fully present. Even if I thought I could multitask, my attention was divided, and the person in front of me could feel it.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to put my phone away when I’m with someone. A truly good person makes others feel heard and valued—and that starts with giving them your full attention.
3) Stop using sarcasm as a default
Sarcasm can be funny in the right context, but when it becomes your go-to way of communicating, it can wear people down. Even if you don’t mean any harm, constant sarcasm can come across as dismissive, insincere, or even passive-aggressive.
In fact, studies have shown that sarcasm activates more complex brain processes than direct communication. That means people have to work harder to decipher what you really mean—and not everyone appreciates that extra effort, especially in serious conversations.
A truly good person speaks with kindness and clarity. So while sarcasm has its place, make sure it’s not getting in the way of genuine connection.
4) Stop giving compliments with a hidden agenda
A compliment should be just that—a kind, genuine remark with no strings attached. But sometimes, people use compliments as a way to manipulate or gain favor.
Ever had someone say something nice to you, only to follow it up with a request? “You’re so good at this—can you do mine too?” Or maybe they give praise in a way that feels more like an insult: “Wow, you actually did a great job on this!”
People can sense when a compliment isn’t sincere, and when that happens, it loses all meaning. A truly good person builds others up without expecting anything in return.
So if you’re going to give a compliment, make sure it comes from the heart.
5) Stop acting like you always have the answer
I used to think that offering advice was the best way to help someone. Whenever a friend shared a problem, I’d jump in with solutions, assuming that’s what they needed.
But over time, I realized that not everyone wants advice—sometimes, they just want to be heard. And honestly? I don’t always have the right answers anyway. No one does.
A truly good person knows when to listen instead of lecture. Instead of rushing to fix everything, try saying, “That sounds tough. Do you want advice, or do you just need to vent?”
You’d be surprised how much that small shift can strengthen your relationships.
6) Stop apologizing when you don’t mean it
Saying sorry is important, but only when you mean it. If you overuse apologies—especially for things that aren’t your fault—you can come across as insincere or even make others feel uncomfortable.
I know, it sounds like apologizing more would make you seem kinder. But in reality, constantly saying “sorry” for every little thing can weaken the impact of a real apology when it actually matters.
A truly good person takes responsibility for their mistakes but doesn’t apologize just to fill silence or keep the peace. Instead of defaulting to “sorry” out of habit, try saying “thank you for understanding” or “I appreciate your patience.”
It shifts the focus from guilt to gratitude—and that’s a much more positive way to connect with others.
7) Stop expecting praise for doing the right thing
Being kind, honest, and respectful shouldn’t be something you do just for recognition. If you only help others or make good choices because you want validation, it stops being about kindness and starts being about ego.
Of course, everyone likes to feel appreciated—it’s human nature. But a truly good person doesn’t need applause for simply treating people with decency. They do the right thing because it is the right thing, even when no one is watching.
So next time you go out of your way to be kind, ask yourself: Would I still do this if no one knew about it? If the answer is yes, then you’re on the right track.
8) Stop making everything about you
One of the biggest signs of a truly good person is their ability to make space for others.
If every conversation somehow circles back to your experiences, your struggles, or your opinions, it can make people feel unheard and unimportant.
It’s natural to relate to others by sharing your own stories, but there’s a fine line between connection and self-centeredness.
Not every moment needs your input. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen and let someone else take up the space they deserve.
Being good is about how you make others feel
If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably realized that being a truly good person isn’t about grand gestures or trying to impress others.
It’s found in the small, everyday choices we make—how we listen, how we speak, and how we treat the people around us.
Psychologists often say that people won’t always remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. And that’s what really matters.
So if you want to be considered a good person, don’t focus on looking good—focus on being good.
Show up with sincerity, kindness, and respect, even when no one is watching. Because at the end of the day, that’s what people will remember about you.
