If someone hands out criticism but can’t take it, they usually possess these 8 insecurities

Some people love to dish out criticism but can’t handle even the slightest bit in return.

Ever noticed that? They have no problem pointing out your flaws, but the moment you offer feedback—no matter how gentle—they get defensive, angry, or even play the victim.

Why does this happen? More often than not, it comes down to insecurity.

People who can’t take criticism usually have deeper fears and self-doubts bubbling under the surface. And the way they react says a lot about what’s really going on inside them.

In this article, we’ll explore eight insecurities that often hide beneath a fragile ego—so you can understand these people better and maybe even deal with them more wisely.

1) They fear being seen as not good enough

Some people act like they have all the answers—quick to point out what others are doing wrong. But when the tables turn, they can’t handle even a hint of criticism.

Why? Because deep down, they’re afraid they’re not good enough.

Criticism, no matter how constructive, feels like confirmation of their worst fear—that they’re flawed, incompetent, or failing in some way. So instead of taking it in stride, they get defensive or lash out.

When a person is truly confident in themselves, they can accept feedback without feeling personally attacked. But for someone with this insecurity, even the smallest critique feels like a threat to their self-worth.

That’s why they’ll do anything to avoid it—even if it means silencing others or shifting blame.

2) They tie their self-worth to being right

I used to work with someone who always had to be the smartest person in the room. He was quick to correct others, point out mistakes, and offer “helpful” advice—whether you asked for it or not.

But the moment someone gave him feedback? Total meltdown. He’d either brush it off, make excuses, or get irritated. It was like he couldn’t handle the idea of being wrong.

Looking back, I realize his entire sense of self was built on being right. If someone pointed out a flaw or suggested a better way of doing things, it felt like an attack on his identity.

People like this don’t just want to be right—they need to be right because they see any mistake as proof that they’re not good enough. And instead of learning from feedback, they reject it completely.

3) They have a fragile ego that needs constant protection

The more fragile a person’s ego, the more they feel the need to defend it.

When someone can’t take criticism, it’s often because their self-esteem is built on shaky ground. Instead of seeing feedback as an opportunity to grow, they see it as an attack they must fend off.

Psychologists call this ego defensiveness—the tendency to reject or rationalize anything that threatens our self-image. And the more insecure someone is, the more extreme their reaction tends to be.

That’s why overly critical people often struggle with receiving criticism themselves. Their ego relies on feeling superior, so any suggestion that they might be wrong feels unbearable.

4) They struggle with attachment to their self-image

In Buddhism, attachment is seen as a major cause of suffering. And one of the strongest attachments people have is to their own self-image.

When someone constantly criticizes others but can’t take criticism themselves, it’s often because they’re clinging to an identity they don’t want to let go of. They see themselves as knowledgeable, competent, or superior—and anything that challenges that image feels like a threat.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how Buddhist principles can help us break free from these attachments and develop true confidence—one that isn’t shaken by feedback or differing opinions.

Because at the end of the day, real peace comes from letting go of the need to always be right and embracing the idea that growth comes from being open to change.

5) They see criticism as rejection

For some people, criticism doesn’t just feel like feedback—it feels like rejection.

Instead of hearing, “This could be improved”, they hear, “You’re not good enough.” And that can be a hard thing to sit with.

When someone has experienced a lot of judgment or disapproval in their life, even the smallest critique can bring up old wounds. It’s not really about the comment itself—it’s about what it reminds them of.

That’s why they react so strongly. They’re not just defending themselves against your words; they’re defending themselves against all the times they’ve felt unworthy before.

6) They criticize others to avoid criticizing themselves

It might seem like overly critical people are full of confidence, but often, the opposite is true.

Many people who constantly point out flaws in others do it as a way to distract from their own insecurities. If they’re busy highlighting your mistakes, they don’t have to face their own.

In a strange way, criticizing others becomes a defense mechanism. It allows them to shift the focus outward rather than looking inward and confronting the things they don’t like about themselves.

That’s why they can dish it out but can’t take it—because deep down, they already feel like they’re not measuring up. And if they actually stopped to reflect, it might be too uncomfortable to handle.

7) They mistake defensiveness for strength

Some people believe that being defensive makes them look strong. In their mind, admitting fault or accepting criticism is a sign of weakness—something to be avoided at all costs.

But real strength isn’t about shutting down feedback or proving you’re always right. It’s about having the confidence to listen, reflect, and grow from what others have to say.

The irony is that by refusing to take criticism, they actually reveal their insecurity. Truly strong people don’t fear feedback—they welcome it, because they know it’s the only way to improve.

8) They don’t know the difference between their mistakes and their identity

Some people take criticism so personally because they don’t separate what they do from who they are.

If you point out a mistake they made, they don’t hear, “This action could have been better.” They hear, “You are not good enough.”

When someone ties their entire identity to being right, competent, or superior, any flaw—no matter how small—feels like an attack on their very existence. That’s why they react with defensiveness, anger, or even denial.

But mistakes are just mistakes. They don’t define a person—unless that person refuses to learn from them.

Bottom line: it’s not really about you

When someone reacts badly to criticism, it can feel personal. But more often than not, their response has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with what’s going on inside them.

People who struggle to take feedback are often fighting battles you can’t see. Their defensiveness, anger, or avoidance isn’t about the words being said—it’s about protecting a fragile sense of self.

Understanding this doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, but it does offer a different perspective. Instead of taking their reaction to heart, you can recognize it for what it is: a reflection of their own insecurities, not a judgment of your worth.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how letting go of ego-driven reactions can lead to more peace, clarity, and resilience in everyday life.

When we stop seeing everything as a personal attack, we free ourselves from unnecessary suffering.

At the end of the day, criticism—whether given or received—is just information. What we do with it is what truly matters.