Minh Tran
We’ve all been in conversations that suddenly take a weird or awkward turn.
One minute, everything’s flowing naturally, and the next, someone brings up a topic that makes everyone a little uncomfortable.
The truth is, not everyone has great social skills. Some people struggle to read the room, and it shows in the things they choose to talk about.
Of course, we all make mistakes sometimes.
But if someone consistently brings up certain topics, it’s often a sign that they don’t quite understand how to connect with others in a smooth, natural way.
So what are these conversation killers?
Here are some topics that, when brought up at the wrong time, often signal below-average social skills.
1) They bring up overly personal topics too soon
We’ve all met someone who shares way too much, way too fast.
You’ve barely exchanged names, and suddenly they’re telling you about their deepest fears, family drama, or even their latest medical issue.
While openness can be a great quality, there’s a time and place for everything.
Jumping into deeply personal topics with someone you just met can make them feel uncomfortable and put pressure on them to overshare as well.
People with stronger social skills understand the importance of pacing in a conversation.
They know that trust is built over time and that some topics are best saved for when a true connection has been established.
If someone consistently disregards these unspoken social cues, it’s often a sign that they struggle to gauge the comfort levels of those around them.
2) They complain about their life to people they just met
I once went on a coffee date with someone who, within the first five minutes, started venting about how much they hated their job, how their roommates were impossible to live with, and how nothing in their life ever seemed to go right.
I tried to be polite and listen, but honestly? It was exhausting. I barely knew them, yet I suddenly felt like their personal therapist.
Of course, we all need to vent sometimes.
But there’s a big difference between sharing struggles with close friends and unloading negativity onto someone you just met.
People with strong social skills understand that conversations should feel balanced—not one-sided rants about everything wrong in their lives.
If someone constantly turns casual conversations into complaint sessions, they might not realize how draining it can be for others.
3) They only talk about themselves
Conversations are supposed to be a two-way street, but some people treat them like a stage for a one-person show.
They go on and on about their achievements, their problems, their opinions—without ever stopping to ask about the other person.
The funny thing is, studies have shown that talking about yourself activates the same brain regions associated with pleasure and reward. In other words, it literally feels good to do it.
But people with strong social skills know that the key to good conversation isn’t just self-expression—it’s engagement. They ask questions, show interest, and make space for others to share.
If someone dominates every conversation with their own stories and never shows curiosity about anyone else, it’s usually a sign of poor social awareness.
4) They bring up controversial topics at the wrong time
There’s nothing wrong with discussing politics, religion, or other hot-button issues—when the timing is right.
But some people have a habit of diving into these subjects without considering the mood or the people around them.
Bringing up a heated debate in the middle of a lighthearted gathering or with someone you just met can make things tense fast.
Instead of fostering connection, it often puts people on edge or forces them into uncomfortable conversations they weren’t prepared for.
Socially aware people understand that context matters. They read the room before introducing heavy topics and know when to steer the conversation in a more neutral direction.
If someone constantly sparks debates at inappropriate moments, it’s often a sign that they struggle to pick up on social cues.
5) They overshare embarrassing or inappropriate details
I once met someone at a casual work event who, within minutes, started telling me about the messy details of their last breakup—including things I really didn’t need to know.
I remember standing there, nodding awkwardly, wondering why they thought this was the right time for that conversation.
Some people don’t seem to have a filter.
They’ll talk about their bodily functions, their bedroom life, or other awkward topics with zero hesitation—completely unaware that the people around them might not want to hear it.
Sure, openness can be refreshing in the right setting. But socially skilled people understand boundaries.
They can tell the difference between sharing something relatable and making others feel uncomfortable.
If someone constantly blurts out inappropriate details without thinking, it’s usually a sign that they struggle to gauge what’s appropriate for the moment.
6) They try too hard to sound smart
You might think that using big words, quoting obscure books, or constantly correcting people would make someone seem intelligent.
But in reality, it often has the opposite effect—it makes conversations feel forced and awkward.
I’ve met people who seem more focused on proving how much they know instead of actually connecting with others.
They’ll throw in complicated jargon, over-explain simple topics, or dismiss other people’s opinions just to sound more knowledgeable.
The most socially skilled people don’t feel the need to impress with fancy words or endless facts.
They know that real connection comes from being relatable and engaging, not from trying to sound superior.
If someone constantly talks in a way that feels performative rather than natural, it’s often a sign that they’re not as socially smooth as they think they are.
7) They constantly one-up people
Everyone knows someone like this—you share a story, and instead of listening, they immediately jump in with something better.
If you ran five miles, they ran ten. If you had a tough day, theirs was way worse. No matter what you say, they always have to top it.
At first, it might seem like they’re just trying to relate. But after a while, it becomes clear that they’re not really interested in conversation—they’re interested in winning.
Socially skilled people understand that conversations aren’t competitions.
They know that listening and showing genuine interest in others is far more important than proving they have the most impressive story.
If someone constantly turns every exchange into a battle of who has done more, seen more, or struggled more, it’s usually a sign that they lack self-awareness in social situations.
8) They don’t notice when people are disengaged
The biggest sign of poor social skills isn’t just what someone says—it’s their inability to see how others are reacting.
Some people keep talking even when it’s clear no one is interested. They miss the crossed arms, the wandering eyes, the polite nods that signal someone is ready to move on.
Instead of adjusting, they push forward, completely unaware that they’ve lost their audience.
Socially skilled people pay attention. They notice when someone is engaged and when they’re not, and they adjust accordingly.
Conversation isn’t just about speaking—it’s about reading the flow of interaction and knowing when to shift gears.
If someone never picks up on these cues, it’s a clear sign that their social awareness is lacking.
Why social awareness matters more than you think
Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you’ll have noticed that good social skills aren’t just about talking—they’re about understanding.
Because knowing what to say is important, but knowing when to say it (or when not to) is what really makes a difference.
At the heart of it all, social awareness is about making people feel heard, comfortable, and valued.
The best communicators aren’t the ones who dominate conversations—they’re the ones who know how to create meaningful connections.
And if someone can do that, they’re not just socially skilled. They’re someone others will genuinely enjoy being around.
