James Carter
Some things in life are hard to admit, especially when they challenge what we’ve always believed.
For the longest time, I used to think that social skills were something you either had or you didn’t. That some people were just naturally charming and socially gifted, while others were destined to struggle no matter what.
But the more I observed people—the way they talk, listen, and connect—the more I realized that social intelligence isn’t some mysterious talent. It’s a skill like any other, and some men simply never develop it properly.
The problem is, poor social skills can be easy to overlook, especially when they come from someone who seems confident or successful in other areas of life.
If you’ve ever wondered whether a man has below-average social skills, there are certain behaviors that give it away every time.
1) He doesn’t notice social cues
One of the biggest signs of below-average social skills is a lack of awareness when it comes to social cues.
A man with strong social intelligence picks up on subtle things—tone of voice, body language, a shift in energy. He can sense when someone is uncomfortable, uninterested, or just not in the mood for a certain conversation.
But if he constantly talks over people, interrupts at the wrong moments, or keeps pushing a topic that clearly isn’t landing well, it’s a sign he’s not tuned into the flow of social interactions.
It’s not always intentional. Some men simply don’t realize how their words or actions affect others because they’re too focused on themselves.
But the result is the same—awkwardness, frustration, and a sense that something just feels off when talking to him.
2) He talks too much—or not at all
When a man doesn’t pick up on social cues, it often leads to one of two extremes: he either dominates the conversation or barely contributes at all.
I’ve been on both sides of this.
There was a time when I struggled with social interactions, and my response was to talk too much. I thought if I kept the conversation going, it would make things less awkward. But in reality, I was just steamrolling people, not giving them space to speak.
Then, after realizing my mistake, I overcorrected. I became overly cautious, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and ended up being too quiet. Conversations felt forced, and I could tell people didn’t know how to engage with me.
A man with strong social skills knows how to find balance. He listens as much as he speaks, leaving room for a natural back-and-forth.
But if he constantly interrupts or shuts down entirely, it’s a clear sign he still has a lot to learn about social connection.
3) He doesn’t genuinely listen
Epictetus once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
But for men with below-average social skills, listening isn’t really listening—it’s just waiting for their turn to talk.
You can always tell when someone isn’t truly engaged in what you’re saying. Their eyes wander, their responses feel generic, or worse, they cut you off mid-sentence to shift the focus back to themselves. It’s frustrating, and after a while, it makes you not want to share anything at all.
A man with strong social awareness knows that good conversations aren’t just about exchanging words—they’re about making the other person feel heard and understood.
If he constantly fails at this, it’s a clear sign his social skills need work.
4) He struggles with eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication. In fact, human brains are wired to respond to it—when someone looks directly at us, it activates the social and emotional processing centers in our minds.
But a man with below-average social skills often gets eye contact wrong.
He might avoid it entirely, looking around the room or down at his phone instead of engaging with the person in front of him. Or he might overdo it, holding eye contact for so long that it feels intense and uncomfortable.
Neither extreme works. Healthy eye contact is about balance—it should feel natural, like an unspoken way of saying, “I’m here, I’m listening, and I care about what you’re saying.”
If a man can’t maintain that, it’s a sign he still has a lot to learn about connecting with others.
5) He doesn’t understand personal space
Socially aware men intuitively adjust their physical presence based on the situation and the person they’re interacting with. But a man with below-average social skills often misjudges this completely.
He might stand too close, making conversations feel uncomfortably intense. Or he might stay too far away, creating unnecessary distance that makes interactions feel cold and disconnected.
Personal space isn’t just about physical comfort—it’s a silent way of showing respect and understanding. When a man consistently invades it or miscalculates it, it’s a sign he struggles to read the room and adjust accordingly.
6) He laughs at the wrong moments
Laughter is one of the easiest ways to build connection, but only when it happens at the right time.
A man with poor social skills often misses the mark—he might laugh too loudly at something mildly amusing, or worse, chuckle at a moment that clearly isn’t meant to be funny.
Maybe someone is sharing a personal struggle, and instead of responding with empathy, he lets out an awkward laugh because he doesn’t know what else to do.
It’s not always intentional, but it can make interactions uncomfortable and even hurtful. Knowing when to laugh—and when not to—is a sign of emotional intelligence.
If he consistently gets it wrong, it’s a clue that his social awareness isn’t as sharp as it should be.
7) He tells stories that drag on too long
Good storytelling is an art, and socially skilled men know how to keep their audience engaged.
But a man with below-average social skills often doesn’t realize when his stories are dragging on too long—or worse, when no one is actually interested.
He might include unnecessary details, repeat himself, or take forever to get to the point. Meanwhile, the people listening start shifting in their seats, nodding absentmindedly, or looking for an escape.
The best conversations have a rhythm—people take turns, react naturally, and leave space for others to contribute.
But if a man doesn’t recognize when it’s time to wrap up his story, it’s a sign he’s not tuned into the flow of social interaction.
8) He makes conversations feel one-sided
The best conversations feel like a natural exchange—both people contribute, ask questions, and show interest in each other. But a man with below-average social skills often makes interactions feel completely one-sided.
Maybe he only talks about himself, never pausing to ask about the other person’s thoughts or experiences. Or maybe he gives short, vague answers that make it impossible to keep the conversation going.
Either way, it feels like work rather than an enjoyable interaction.
Socially aware men understand that connection isn’t just about expressing themselves—it’s about making the other person feel valued and engaged.
If a man fails to create that balance, it’s a clear sign he still has a long way to go in developing his social skills.
The bottom line
Social skills aren’t just about talking, laughing, or making eye contact—they’re about making people feel comfortable, understood, and valued.
The good news is, social intelligence isn’t fixed. It’s a skill that can be developed with awareness and practice. If a man recognizes these behaviors in himself, he has the opportunity to improve how he connects with others.
Small changes make a big difference. Pausing to listen instead of waiting to speak. Picking up on body language. Noticing when a conversation feels unbalanced.
These little shifts can transform the way people respond to him—and, in turn, how he experiences relationships.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, but every step toward better social awareness strengthens confidence and deepens connections.
And in the end, that’s what truly makes interactions meaningful.
