7 habits you need to outgrow if you really want to be successful, says psychology

For years, I felt stuck.

I wanted to be successful—whatever that meant—but no matter how hard I worked, I wasn’t getting anywhere.

I’d set goals, make plans, and push myself… only to end up frustrated and exhausted.

Eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t a lack of effort. It was the habits I was holding onto that were quietly sabotaging me.

As a psychology enthusiast and someone obsessed with self-improvement, I started digging into the science behind success. And what I found changed everything.

Psychology shows that certain habits—ones many of us don’t even realize we have—can hold us back in ways we don’t expect. Once I let go of them, everything started to shift.

In this article, I’ll share 7 key habits you need to outgrow if you really want to be successful. If you’re feeling stuck like I was, these might be exactly what’s keeping you from moving forward.

Let’s dive in.

1) Waiting for the “perfect” moment

One of the biggest habits that held me back was constantly waiting for the “right time” to take action.

I told myself I’d start that project when I had more experience. I’d take that opportunity when I felt more confident. I’d make a change when everything lined up perfectly.

But here’s what psychology teaches us: perfection is an illusion. If you’re always waiting for the stars to align, you’ll be waiting forever.

Success doesn’t come from perfect timing—it comes from starting before you feel ready.

Once I stopped hesitating and started taking small, imperfect steps forward, everything changed. The more action I took, the more momentum I built, and the more confident I became.

If you’ve been holding yourself back, ask yourself: what’s one small thing you can do today to move forward? Then do it.

Because the “perfect” moment isn’t coming—the only moment you have is now.

2) Seeking validation from others

I always cared way too much about what other people thought. I’d hesitate to share my ideas because I was afraid of being judged.

I’d say yes to things I didn’t want to do just to avoid disappointing people. And whenever I achieved something, I wasn’t satisfied unless others approved of it.

It was exhausting—and it held me back in a big way.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

But when you’re constantly chasing validation, you’re not living for yourself—you’re living for other people’s expectations.

If you find yourself constantly looking for validation, take a step back and ask: Am I doing this because it matters to me, or because I want others to approve?

True success comes when you stop living for others and start living for yourself.

3) Fearing failure

For a long time, I avoided anything that felt risky because I was terrified of failing.

I’d overthink every decision, worrying about what could go wrong. If something seemed too difficult or uncertain, I’d convince myself it wasn’t worth trying.

Looking back, I realize how many opportunities I missed simply because I was afraid to fail.

One of the biggest moments that forced me to rethink this habit was when I first started Hack Spirit.

I had no experience running a website. No guarantee it would work. And plenty of doubts telling me I wasn’t good enough to pull it off.

But instead of letting fear stop me, I decided to embrace failure as part of the process. Instead of seeing mistakes as proof that I wasn’t capable, I started seeing them as lessons that would help me grow.

And you know what? Things didn’t go perfectly at first. I made plenty of mistakes. But each failure taught me something valuable—and eventually, those lessons led to success.

4) Procrastinating on important tasks

I used to tell myself that I worked best under pressure. In reality, I was just procrastinating.

I’d put off important tasks until the last possible moment, convincing myself that I needed to be “in the right mood” to get started.

But all that did was create unnecessary stress and rushed, second-rate work. Turns out, there’s real psychology behind this habit.

A study published found that chronic procrastination isn’t just about laziness—it’s linked to poor emotional regulation. When we put off tasks, it’s often because we’re trying to avoid feelings of stress or self-doubt associated with them.

Once I understood this, everything changed. Instead of waiting for motivation to magically appear, I started using small tricks to outsmart my own procrastination.

One of the best? The “two-minute rule.” If a task feels overwhelming, I commit to working on it for just two minutes. More often than not, once I start, I keep going—and before I know it, the task is done.

If you struggle with procrastination, don’t wait for the perfect moment to start. Just take one small step now. Future you will thank you for it.

5) Comparing yourself to others

For years, I measured my progress by looking at what everyone else was doing.

If someone my age was more successful, I felt like I was behind. If I saw someone achieving something I wanted, I’d wonder if I’d ever get there.

Social media made it even worse. I’d scroll through posts of people traveling the world, building businesses, or hitting major milestones, and all it did was make me feel like I wasn’t doing enough.

But here’s what I’ve learned: comparison is a losing game.

There will always be someone ahead of you in some way. But their journey isn’t yours. The only person you should compare yourself to is who you were yesterday.

Once I stopped focusing on other people’s timelines and started setting my own goals, everything changed. I worked at my own pace, celebrated my own progress, and found much more satisfaction in what I was doing.

6) Letting fear of judgment control you

For a long time, I held myself back because I was afraid of what people would think.

I hesitated to share my opinions, avoided taking risks, and sometimes even pretended to be someone I wasn’t—just to fit in.

The turning point came when I started writing publicly. At first, I was terrified. What if people thought my ideas were stupid? What if they criticized me? What if I failed publicly?

But then I came across this quote from psychologist Albert Ellis: “You largely constructed your depression. It wasn’t given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.”

It hit me—my fear of judgment wasn’t something others were forcing on me. It was something I was creating in my own mind. And if I had built this fear, I could also tear it down.

So, I pushed through the discomfort and kept writing.

And guess what? Some people did criticize me. But it didn’t destroy me like I thought it would. In fact, most of the time, the fear in my head was way worse than reality.

7) Working too hard

This one might sound strange—after all, isn’t hard work the key to success?

That’s what I used to believe. I thought that if I just pushed myself harder, worked longer hours, and never took breaks, I’d eventually reach my goals faster.

But instead of making progress, I burned out. My creativity dropped, my motivation disappeared, and I felt stuck—despite all the effort I was putting in.

Psychology backs this up. Studies show that overworking leads to decreased productivity, higher stress levels, and even impaired decision-making, In other words, working harder doesn’t always mean working smarter.

The real key? Strategic rest.

If you feel like you’re constantly grinding but not getting anywhere, try this: schedule real breaks into your day. Even just a 10-minute walk or a few deep breaths away from your screen can reset your focus and boost your productivity.

Success isn’t about running yourself into the ground—it’s about sustaining your energy for the long haul.

Conclusion: success is about what you let go of

Success isn’t just about what you do—it’s also about what you stop doing.

If you’re feeling stuck, take a step back and ask yourself: Which of these habits are holding me back?

Pick just one to work on this week. Start small. If you struggle with procrastination, commit to two minutes of focused work. If fear of failure stops you, take one tiny risk today.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but every small step adds up. Let go of what no longer serves you, and you’ll create space for real growth.

Your future self will thank you.