Eliza Hartley
There’s a fine line between yearning for love and being desperate for it.
You see, when a woman genuinely longs for love, she’s open, patient, and hopeful. But when desperation sets in, it’s a whole different ball game.
According to psychology, certain behaviors may suggest that a woman is desperately seeking that elusive true love. And if you’re not careful, you might be one of them.
This is not about judging or criticizing. It’s about understanding our own actions and how they might be coming off to others.
So, let’s dive into these 9 behaviors of women who are desperate to find true love. Hopefully, we can all learn something valuable about ourselves in the process.
1) Overly eager to please
The quest for love can often lead us down a path where we try too hard to make others happy, sometimes at the expense of our own happiness. This is particularly true for women who are desperate for that true love connection.
Psychology tells us that this behavior stems from a place of insecurity and a fear of rejection. Women in this state tend to overcompensate by being overly eager to please, in hopes that it will make them more appealing to potential partners.
But here’s the deal: it’s okay to want to make your partner happy, but not at the cost of your own self-worth. As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
So instead of trying too hard to please others, focus on loving and accepting yourself first. After all, true love starts from within.
2) Constantly seeking validation
Admittedly, there was a time in my life where I found myself constantly seeking validation from others, particularly in romantic relationships. I would often find myself worth based on how my partner perceived me. It was exhausting, to say the least.
Psychology suggests that this behavior is often seen in women desperate for true love. They’re constantly looking for reassurance, compliments, and signs that they’re loved and valued.
However, the renowned psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw wisely said, “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”
Seeking constant validation can lead to a cycle of emotional dependence, undermining our confidence and self-worth.
In retrospect, it’s clear to me now that the love I was so desperately seeking should have come from within me first. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
3) Settling for less
Let’s be brutally honest here: desperation for true love can often lead women to settle for less than they deserve.
This doesn’t necessarily mean the other person is ‘less’, but rather, they may not be the right fit or fulfill the emotional and psychological needs that a healthy relationship should.
I’ve seen it time and time again, and psychology backs this up. Women desperate for love often compromise on their standards, their needs, and worst of all, their self-respect.
The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow wisely said, “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”
Settling for less in a relationship is stepping back into safety because of fear – fear of loneliness, fear of not finding someone better.
However, every woman deserves a love that makes her feel cherished, respected, and valued. Don’t settle for anything less.
4) Neglecting personal growth
In the past, I’ve seen friends so engrossed in their quest for love that they’ve neglected their personal growth. They’ve put their hobbies, passions, and even self-care routines on the backburner to focus on finding ‘The One’.
Psychologically speaking, this behavior is often observed in women who are desperate for true love. It’s as if the need to find a partner becomes their sole identity, leaving little room for personal development.
The renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” And it’s true. Acceptance and personal growth go hand in hand.
True love shouldn’t stifle personal growth; it should encourage it. So if you find yourself neglecting your own development in the pursuit of love, it might be time to reassess your priorities.
5) Overcompensating with independence
Now, this might sound counterintuitive. After all, isn’t independence a good thing? Yes, it is, but like all things in life, too much of it can be detrimental, especially when it comes to love and relationships.
There was a time in my life when I embraced independence to an extreme. I wanted to prove that I was self-sufficient and didn’t need anyone for anything. But deep down, it was a defense mechanism to shield myself from potential heartbreak.
Psychology suggests that women who are desperate for true love often overcompensate with independence. They’re so afraid of being seen as needy or vulnerable that they put up a wall and project an image of ‘I don’t need anyone.’
However, as the famous psychologist Brené Brown puts it, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
True love requires vulnerability. It’s about opening up, sharing your fears and dreams, and letting someone into your world. So don’t let fear hold you back from experiencing the beauty of true love.
6) Rushing into relationships
It’s no secret that love can’t be rushed. Yet, women desperate for true love often find themselves rushing into relationships, hoping that each one will finally be ‘The One.’
Psychology suggests that this behavior is driven by the fear of being alone or a perceived scarcity of potential partners. The result? A series of short-lived relationships that barely have time to grow and develop.
Renowned psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman once said, “Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life. It’s the seemingly insignificant moments of connection and intimacy that are the most significant of all.”
This couldn’t be more accurate. Love takes time to grow; it requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to navigate through the complexities of life together.
So slow down, take a breath, and allow love to unfold naturally.
7) Overthinking every move
I’ll confess, I’ve been there. Overanalyzing every text message, every glance, every comment. It’s an exhausting mental loop, which, more often than not, leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
According to psychology, women desperate for true love often find themselves overthinking every interaction with potential partners. This is usually driven by a fear of making mistakes or saying the wrong things that could potentially ruin the relationship.
But as the famous psychologist Albert Ellis pointed out, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”
Overthinking can rob you of the joy and spontaneity that comes with falling in love. Remember, love isn’t a strategic game to be won or lost; it’s an emotional journey to be experienced. So trust yourself, be genuine, and let things unfold naturally.
8) Wearing a mask
Let’s get real here. How many times have you seen someone, or maybe even yourself, change their personality, interests, or even values to match those of a potential partner?
It’s a raw and uncomfortable truth, but it happens more often than we’d like to admit.
Psychology tells us that women who are desperate for true love often find themselves wearing a mask, hoping that this “altered” version of themselves will be more appealing.
However, as the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers wisely said, “The greatest gift we can give to others is our authentic self.”
Wearing a mask might attract someone temporarily, but it’s your authenticity that will foster true and lasting love. So embrace who you are, quirks and all. After all, true love is about accepting and loving each other for who we truly are.
9) Giving up on love
This might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. Sometimes, in their desperation for true love, women might declare that they’re giving up on love altogether. This isn’t a reflection of their actual desires but rather a defense mechanism to protect themselves from further heartbreak.
Psychology reveals that this behavior is not uncommon among those who have faced repeated disappointments in their quest for love. It’s a way of regaining control and protecting oneself from potential pain.
The renowned psychologist Rollo May once said, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity.” And in this context, giving up on love is conforming to the fear of pain and disappointment.
Remember, it’s okay to take a break, heal, and gather your thoughts. But giving up entirely closes the door to the possibility of finding true love. Keep your heart open; true love might be just around the corner.
10) Ignoring red flags
On a personal note, I’ve learned the hard way that ignoring red flags in a relationship is never a good idea. These warning signs are there for a reason, and neglecting them can lead to heartache down the line.
Psychology suggests that women desperate for true love tend to ignore these red flags, often justifying them or making excuses for their partner’s behavior. This is usually driven by the fear of losing the relationship and having to start all over again.
As the famous psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers said, “Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”
If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust your instincts and don’t ignore the signs that something might be off.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding, not on ignoring issues and brushing them under the rug.
