If you criticize yourself for these 10 things, you’re too hard on yourself

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With today’s hectic lifestyle, it’s easy to feel behind amidst the chaos. Trust me, I know—my inner critic has pushed me to overwork myself time and time again.

Burnout seriously impacts mental health.

That’s why finding a balance between productivity and rest is vital to combating it.

If you’re criticizing yourself about these 10 things, you’re too hard on yourself.

1) Not being productive enough

In our fast-paced world, do you sometimes struggle to feel productive?

I, too, once was overwhelmed with much pressure from an inner critic that pushed me to constantly produce—the outcome: burnout, mental health struggles, and time off.

I discovered that productivity and rest have to coexist, and feeling unproductive only means it’s time to pause and reassess.

Listen up, we can be the harshest on ourselves sometimes. Acknowledging our own efforts and giving ourselves the credit we deserve is crucial.

So pausing, breathing, and taking a step back can do wonders, believe me. Remember to be kind to yourself—you’ve got this! 

2) Perfectionism

Growing up, perfection weighed heavily on me. I set unrealistic expectations and high standards and was plagued by self-judgment.

The truth is, striving for perfection can actually hinder progress. Absolute perfection’s a myth, and chasing after it often leads to disappointment.

It’s crucial to celebrate achievements and acknowledge successes, instead of obsessing over impossible goals and flaws. Aiming for excellence is commendable, but being mindful of your inner critic and its impact on your well-being’s vital.

Being kinder to yourself can boost your confidence and enhance your life’s quality.

Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, so prioritize progress over perfect outcomes.

3) Not having enough confidence

Confidence is an intangible quality that no ruler or scale can gauge. Unlike weight or height, confidence is subjective in its existence. 

But I’ve learned that it’s not a mystical ability. It’s a skill that requires practice like any other.

Confidence starts with self-worth, the unyielding foundation that gives it life. To feel competent, one must recognize the inherent value they carry. In moments of doubt, don’t let negative feelings and thoughts rule the mind, instead shift your perspective towards your positive qualities. 

Confidence isn’t about being perfect or outdoing others. It means trusting yourself and your choices. Nurturing it isn’t easy, but remember: you are fully worthy. Treat yourself with empathy and kindness – these are the attributes that truly matter.

4) Accepting compliments with difficulty

Accepting compliments can be challenging at times. Praise and attention can make those with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable.

However, it’s essential to acknowledge your accomplishments and accept the recognition you deserve.

The first step you could do is try to shift your perspective and see compliments as positive affirmations. Embrace them with gratitude and take pride in your achievements.

You see, accepting compliments doesn’t make you conceited; it shows confidence in your abilities. So when someone praises you, a simple “thank you” can go a long way.

Go ahead and celebrate your accomplishments! Bask in the glory and don’t let negative thoughts bring you down!

By practicing acceptance and gratitude, embracing compliments will become a breeze!

5) Not being ambitious enough

At a crossroads, I felt my aspirations weren’t ambitious enough. Trying too hard left me feeling frustrated. 

Then I realized we all have different paths and versions of success. 

It’s alright to take things at your own pace and discover the best approach for you. Confront any fear of failure you may have and overcome it.

Success is unique to each individual and lies in finding what suits you best. Have faith in your capabilities and don’t yield to unrealistic self-imposed expectations

Above all, show yourself kindness and compassion.

Remember, ambition and success are a journey—there is no set path. Savour the moment, breathe deeply and relish the journey.

6) Not having a perfect relationship

Relationships are complex. Whether with family or a romantic partner, expecting perfection is impractical.

There will always be disagreements, shortcomings, and misunderstandings. That’s why both parties must put in effort for the relationship to work.

As humans, imperfection is part of our essence. Flaws, quirks, and idiosyncrasies make us unique but also represent a challenge.

The negativity of past mistakes shouldn’t be projected onto our relationships; instead, open communication should be encouraged to foster understanding.

If you’re hard on yourself for a past mistake or argument, take a step back and breathe. Allow yourself the space to empty your mind and engage in meaningful introspection.

Believe me, this approach worked wonders for me and can for you, too!

Work on building healthy and understanding relationships because no relationship is perfect.

7) The need to live up to society’s standards

As a child, expectations were thrust upon me by parents and teachers. Or dictated by societal norms. The consistent push to meet these high expectations resulted in undue pressure, hindering me from being present and enjoying the moment.

I felt the pressure to live up to them all and soon became overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy. Being too hard on myself for not meeting societal standards was self-destructive.

Nowadays, I understand that these expectations are unrealistic and harmful to mental health. Negative self-talk and criticism only worsen the situation.

Let’s face it: we can’t please everyone—it simply isn’t possible.

Embrace your uniqueness and take life at your own pace! 

Never let anyone convince you otherwise, because you are exquisite, radiant, and ENOUGH, just as you are! 

Remember to show yourself kindness, give yourself time, and have a little patience.

You deserve it all! 

8) Setting a timer for everything

When did you last pause, take a deep breath, and appreciate the present moment?

I used to be a slave to time: rushing around, trying to fit in too much into one day. Setting unrealistic deadlines resulted in me being too hard on myself. Plus, I was too self-critical with my own expectations.

Self-compassion’s essential; punishing yourself isn’t beneficial. 

Pause before setting a timer. 

Ask yourself: is it necessary or just to please others? It’s about taking control of your time, friend!

Don’t let high-stress levels created by unrealistic expectations blur your view of the present. Instead of impulsively taking action, strive to cultivate mindfulness and awareness in your behavior.

Take a moment to pause and savor the present for its pure beauty. Immersing yourself in the precious now ensures that time becomes an effortless enterprise, without the burden of seconds ticking away.

9) Self-criticism on procrastination

Rumination and procrastination are common struggles. 

I used to be a chronic procrastinator, feeling inferior and stuck in a vicious cycle.

These days, I’ve learned that productivity isn’t about having the perfect set-up or daily routine; it’s more about self-care and motivation toward better decision-making.

Procrastination isn’t always a bad thing. That’s because it can help us access our inner wisdom and balance ambition and self-care.

Plus, it can be beneficial when used in moderation 

Take a breather once in a while from the daily grind! Rest, reflect, and contemplate. Boosting overall well-being—it matters.

You got this! Beat procrastination

Change things up with a break, switch in routine or scenery. A tweak can get you back on track.

Reflecting on the causes of procrastination also helps.

That way, you can overcome it and move forward productively.

10) Not being wealthy enough

Money isn’t everything, and happiness doesn’t depend on wealth. Instead, “health is wealth” is aptly put.

Don’t let being hard on yourself for not having enough money weigh you down. It can be tough, but remember, your value isn’t defined by your bank account! 

Keep pushing forward and working towards your goals. It’s okay to want more financial security, but don’t stress!

Focus on what matters: quality relationships and joyous experiences. 

Shed financial weight off your shoulders; wealth isn’t a measure of success or self-worth.

And hey, it’s not about having unlimited energy, time, or resources. It’s just about using them smartly.

Have more self-compassion and embrace this mindset to see the bigger picture!

Wealth comes from within.

So, be gentle with yourself, appreciate your current life, and live each day with gratitude.

That’s where you’ll find true wealth!

Final thoughts

These 10 things can be traps if we’re too hard on ourselves, so remember to show yourself kindness and compassion. 

Remember, your journey’s unique!

It’s essential to balance ambition and self-care with a little kindness and understanding. It’s also essential to appreciate the present moment—taking breaks from the daily grind, switching up routines, reflecting on our decisions, and embracing our uniqueness. 

At the end of the day, here’s a reminder we all need: true wealth. It’s not a six-figure number or a list of accomplishments we can brag about. 

True wealth comes from within! 

So be gentle with yourself.

Show yourself more love by saying goodbye to harsh self-criticism—you’re ready for an adventure of self-discovery and embracing the present moment. 

Refuse to let the expectations of others define your life. Instead, prioritize what matters most, cultivate mindfulness, and approach each day with gratitude.

Positive vibes only! You deserve it! 

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific.

Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives.

Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience.

Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

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