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15 things you MUST know before joining couples hooking up

Do you ever think about hooking up with a couple?

I’m telling you, it’s a sexual fantasy that many people have, but only some act on.

But how do you know if it’s right for you?

Thinking about joining couples hooking up can be somewhat scary. But it doesn’t have to be.

So before you take this step into uncharted territory, there are 15 things to consider before taking the plunge and embarking on a sexual adventure.

1) How open-minded are you

Your open-mindedness plays a very important part in considering the idea of hooking up with couples such as a threesome.

Most open-minded people wouldn’t have a problem with the idea of couples hooking up because they understand that open relationships exist and are normal for many people and need.

Joining couples hooking up can be life-changing. So it’s important to take your feelings and beliefs into consideration. Some of these are family values, religion, upbringing, and personal history, which can greatly affect how individuals view this relationship.

Couples that are more open to the idea of adding another partner into their bedroom might be more eager and agreeable to variety. These couples don’t view additional partners as a threat, but as an opportunity for increased sexual variety.

If you think you consider yourself to be as open-minded and accepting of the unconventional polyamorous lifestyle, then joining couples hooking up could be the best experience of your life.

However, if you’re still unsure about open relationships then it’s probably not a good idea to embark into threesome territory if you don’t feel 100% comfortable with the concept of open relationships.

2) Do your research on hooking up with couples

This should go without saying for anyone considering joining couples hooking up: do your homework.

A lot can go wrong with no preparation and a lack of understanding about threesomes and open relationships. Take time to learn about how these kinds of arrangements work to avoid any problems down the road.

If you know a couple who is into open relationships, you could start a conversation with them. There is no shame in talking about it and feeding your curiosity. This might even help in your decision.

Another option is to join an online forum to ask about couples who are open to hooking up. You might be surprised how honest and supportive they can be there.

People who are into this kind of lifestyle tend to be more willing to talk openly about their experiences than those in closed or monogamous relationships.

Remember, the last thing you want to happen is to get into something without taking the necessary steps to understand what’s going on. You might end up hurting other people, and even yourself.

3) Define your “why”

Before joining couples hooking up, you need to understand why you’re even considering the experience. Here are some common reasons:

You’re curious about hooking up with couples

One reason couples hook up is – you guessed it – for experimentation.

You might be one of those folks who has always wanted to be intimate with a couple but was never an option due to dating exclusively. And if the opportunity arises, why not take it?

Being sexually curious is good. But you have to remember that being curious doesn’t mean you open up your legs to anything or anyone. It simply means being open to new experiences, meeting new people, exploring different ways of life, and more.

You think joining couples hooking up is hot and sexy

Sex is a very powerful energizer for some people. They are open to trying anything that can open up their sexual life in the most unusual ways imaginable.

Truth be told, it’s not every day that you’ll get the chance to have steamy and sexual possibilities as compared to hooking up with just one person.

Hooking up with a couple can boost your ego. The extra attention can feel exciting as you open up to a whole new world of sexual fulfillment.

But you have to remember that, sometimes, joining couples hooking up doesn’t make you open to any type of advances. It just simply means being open to new sexual experiences that can provide an entirely different kind of pleasure.

You want something a little crazy and exciting in your life

Simply put – YOLO.

You live for the moment, so you just want to experience this with no other real intentions attached to it. It’s exciting. It’s hot.

Why not!?

Joining couples hooking up can be a lot of fun and spice things up by bringing a different kind of adventure into your life.

It can be a lot of fun, and it’s also an excellent way to explore your sexual boundaries.

You have fantasies about hooking up with couples

People have all sorts of sexual fantasies, and our minds can be quite imaginative. And if you’re part of that population who fantasizes about sleeping with more than one person, then the thought of hooking up with couples can be attractive.

But like I said before, openness and open relationships don’t mean being open to any kind of advances. So you have to remember that despite your fantasies, joining couples hooking up involves a lot of communication, respect, and most importantly, trust.

Be honest

Whatever reason you have, it’s important to be honest about it, especially to yourself. Don’t hook up out of a whim, but at the same time, don’t overthink things.

Knowing your intentions before even thinking about becoming intimate with a couple can help establish boundaries for everyone involved.

If you’re not sure what it is that you actually want, then now might be a good time to reevaluate things and figure them out.

4) Your level of attraction towards the couple

At the least, you should be equally attracted to both members of the couple. And I mean equal.

Please allow me to explain.

If you decide to pursue the hook-up with a couple, they will almost certainly know if one of them is getting more action than the other. You may think that it’s okay, but the couple may end up having an opinion about your actions in bed.

So if you’re open to hooking up with couples then you must determine how attracted you are to the couple, so your physical actions can match what words say once you get intimate in bed.

Otherwise, someone may not have fun and walk away feeling disappointed in themselves and their partner.

The last thing you want to happen is to make one or both people feel as though they are being left out by engaging more with only one person when you should be involved with the other.

5) You’re open to both female and male bodies

Joining couples hooking up can mean adventure and discovery. And one thing you should consider is how you feel about being intimate with the same sex.

If you’re at least curious about all sexualities and willing to see how it would feel like to be physically intimate with both male and female bodies, then this could be your perfect adventure.

Allowing yourself to explore both male and female bodies can be mind-opening. It can lead you to discover your own sexual needs and wants.

Don’t be afraid to touch the couple. And let them touch you. If you allow yourself to let go and be in the moment of discovery and passion, you could open yourself up to much more than just sex.

My point is, open relationships can give you the freedom to explore your sexuality without any limits or judgment from society.

6) Who you’re hooking up with

Hooking up with couples is no different from hooking up with one person. At a certain level, you need to know that you want to sleep with these people.

This kind of relationship could get complicated because of how well you know the couple.

Hooking up with a couple you know can be a different experience as compared to hooking up with a couple you just met. There are so many things to consider, like the trust factor, the potential awkwardness after having sex, and the conversation after the fact.

You want to be ready for any possible scenario especially if you’re hooking up with a couple you know. Why? Because you don’t want to be trapped in a situation where you’re obligated to sleep with someone.

Hooking up with people you barely know is easier because the trust factor is still open for negotiation. You can choose whether or not to see them again and go back to your normal lives if things turn sour. If they’re your friends, well then you can always talk it out later on.

So before taking the plunge, you might want to think 10 steps forward on what you think could happen when you hook up with a couple.

Of course, you’ll never know until you get there, but at least you come prepared.

7) You could develop a relationship over time

Hooking up can stir up emotional connections for sure. And there’s a pretty good chance that the couple you hook up with might want to keep in touch, and they probably won’t mind continuing the relationship.

You develop a friendship

A lot goes on during or after a threesome that may change how you feel about the couple afterward. And one of them is an actual connection to build a friendship.

When you join up with a couple and the threesome goes well, there may be open communication afterward. You might like each other and decide to keep in touch and hang out for a while.

So think about the possibility of forming a friendship and how that would work out. If you feel a friendship is worth pursuing with a couple you’ve been intimate with, then great!

You can never have enough friends in your life.

You develop a romantic relationship

It’s not unheard of for a threesome to lead into something more like an open relationship, which might be something for you to consider in the future.

In this day and age, more and more people are coming to be open about their sexuality and, as a result, have become less afraid of how society will judge them.

What happens is that threesomes could turn into something like an “open relationship,” which could work for everyone involved.

People who are open about their sexuality have open minds as well, so there could be no reason why couples can’t open up and open their relationship into a triad situation with you.

It’s definitely a personal decision for all those involved.

Keep in mind that open relationships have a different dynamic compared to more traditional romantic relationships.

Whatever happens, just be open and have fun.

8) There is some level of trust

Joining couples hooking up can be an exciting and liberating experience. And as hooking up, in general, requires a certain level of trust, so does hooking up with couples.

Why? Because you open yourself up to the possible judgment of the couple.

You’re the one coming into the relationship and they have their own expectations of what will happen during the hookup.

The fact is, that can make you feel vulnerable. But opening yourself up to vulnerability could be a good thing because it helps you connect with others and build that trust.

More importantly, trust translates to safety. Nothing else matters when your safety feels threatened suddenly due to circumstances such as unsafe sex practices or an aggressive partner — all of which can happen even during casual encounters.

If you feel uncomfortable with certain parts of how the situation would go, speak up and be honest about it. Open up and tell the couple what bothers you.

Their response can help you see if it’s worth the experience with them.

9) Keep your feelings in check – don’t get yourself hurt

As mentioned before, there’s a lot more at stake when you join couples hooking up.

You open yourself not just to the possibility of physical pleasure, but also to the emotional pain that may come with it. And when you get caught up with your emotions because of the connection you’ve already made, things can get complicated.

So what’s the solution?

Have regular check-ins and think about how you feel about the couple you’re hooking up with. By doing this, you allow yourself more control over how you can approach any possible complications before they happen.

It’s a good way to keep any possible feelings of hurt at bay.

Keep in mind that people change over time: what was once okay may later become too much or vice versa.

The tricky thing about emotions is that they’re always changing.

You can never be sure when something will happen to make you feel an entirely new way, so you need to tread lightly in these situations.

You might think the sun is shining your way when really it’s about to rain on you instead – this happens all of the time.

For example, if you decide to join couples hooking up, there is a chance that you could feel jealous.

What do I mean by that?

Jealousy can be tricky to navigate in any type of relationship, but it is especially so for threesome partners.

One common scenario that leads to feelings of jealousy is feeling like you aren’t included in the couple’s pair bonding and that you’re on the outside looking in.

That’s why it’s best to keep your feelings in check. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

10) Feelings can develop over time

Sex is primarily an emotionally charged act. It’s all about heightened feelings of passion and pleasure.

That being said, joining couples hooking up could open up emotional attachments to at least one person in the mix.

It’s not uncommon to develop feelings for someone with whom you have a casual sexual relationship. And in this day and age, a lot of people are into open relationships around the world.

Despite what you may have heard, sex and love are connected. How we feel about the person we’re having sex with directly relates to how much we enjoy having sex with them.

When you hook up with a couple, there’s a chance that you could get carried away in the physical relationship without considering how this will affect your emotional connection. On some occasions, it could lead to having an open relationship such as polyamory.

That’s the science of physical, mental, and emotional connection.

You could be physically intimate with more than one person. And you could even find yourself developing feelings for, and becoming emotionally attached to, at least one of them.

Feelings can put you through a whole spectrum of emotions. It can’t just be turned off with the flip of a switch.

If you find yourself developing feelings that cause the blurring of some lines, consider delaying your hook-up.

It may be confusing, but you need to figure out how you feel first. You don’t want to end up doing something you might regret.

It might be good to start a conversation, but remember to keep it light and simple. No one wants complicated things in their lives.

More importantly, tell the truth.

If you’re not entirely sure of how you feel or what to do – that is the honest answer. Tell it as it is.

However you feel, make sure you don’t end up in a situation where you’re emotionally invested and then find out the couple you’re hooking up with doesn’t feel the same way.

Always be sure to protect yourself from any situation that can lead to unnecessary heartbreak.

11) Couples hooking up can lead to unconventional sex positions

Hooking up with couples is far from being traditional. In fact, the world is still catching on to its concept.

However, if you’re considering joining couples hooking up, then it can open many possibilities. One of which is unconventional sex positions.

When you open yourself up to the idea of hooking up with couples and open relationships, you also open your mind in other ways.

You might gain more sexual knowledge that you never knew possible. You could discover new experiences and methods of pleasure that most people don’t even know exist in today’s society.

If this excites you, then it’s something to consider.

Try to open yourself up to the idea and you’ll surely get used to it pretty quickly. The idea may not appeal to everyone but open-minded people can find the prospect really hot and tempting.

You just have to try new things and remember to keep yourself open to the idea that everyone has their own thing when it comes to being touched.

Who knows? They could intensify your sexual experience and broaden your perspective on this experience.

12) Couples have their own language

I don’t just mean dirty talk during sexy time; I mean the way they communicate with each other when hooking up with another person individually or together.

If you’re considering having a threesome, then take the initiative to understand how they intimately relate to and talk with each other. Getting yourself in sync can help make your experience more enjoyable and less awkward.

However, you don’t want to feel like you’re the third wheel.

If you decide to hook up with a couple, take it slow in introducing yourself to the couple as you get more physically intimate. You are, after all, the variety of spice to their life, as they are yours.

If they open the door for you to ask more intimate questions, then go with open ears. It can be a good way to open the lines of communication and get comfortable with each other.

Who knows, this could lead to a deeper relationship than just a casual couple hook up.

13) Consent is of utmost importance

Hooking up can be a great way to have fun and explore each other’s interests. But only if you both know what you’re getting into.

If you’re considering joining couples hooking up, make a list of things to agree on. It helps that you understand and accept each others’ terms, and what it means for your relationship.

You don’t want to make the couple feel like they were tricked or coerced into doing something that they didn’t want to do, and vice versa.

It may seem a little structured for an experience that essentially isn’t, but asking questions can be a good start to set boundaries.

Remember: consent is very important when it comes to couples hooking up. Talk about what you want to do and be open about your expectations from the get-go.

There’s no harm done from negotiating boundaries. As long as you all agree with the specifics of the arrangement, and are clear on what it is you want to happen, go for it.

However, if you aren’t ready to commit to the arrangement, say no. It’s always better to take a step back than do something that will make you feel uncomfortable, and that you’ll regret afterward.

Keep in mind that things may get worse in the long run just in case you feel pressured about saying “yes.”

Let me repeat: all parties need to give explicit permission before anything happens. Otherwise, don’t even think of crossing that boundary even if it feels right at the moment.

14) Health check for yourself and the couple

It’s a sensitive subject to discuss, but it’s important to have that health conversation before joining couples hooking up.

In fact, some couples may also want to get tested before going all the way. They may even ask you to take one, too.

Is that fair? Of course!

Who knows where those hands have been?

Sex is one of life’s most important pleasures. But many people don’t know how they can protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases or unplanned pregnancies when the moment arrives.

Take the time to research. Find out what you should do before getting down and dirty with a couple.

It may feel a little awkward at first but knowing each other’s health history is important for preparing yourselves for any possible scenarios that could arise during sexual intercourse.

Everyone has a personal choice about their sex life and what they are willing to sacrifice. You owe it to yourself to be responsible for your own health.

So make this yours.

15) It can change you

The truth is, hooking up with couples can change you.

While it can be a way to take care of your needs when you’re not ready for anything more, it can definitely be an eye-opening experience as you explore your boundaries and innermost desires with more than one person at the same time.

Remember, intentions for hooking up differ from person to person. And it’s important to be aware of how this kind of interaction might change once intimacy enters into the equation.

You may not just have a sexual experience with a couple; you might also open yourself up to them on an emotional level.

Hooking up can change you for the better, giving you a sense of comfort that not all relationships can offer.

No commitments. No strings attached.

And when couples are open to self-exploration, it can be a great opportunity for both people in the relationship.

Hooking up can also change you and take you through a rabbit hole.

One example of this is that you get confused about yourself, your sexual preferences, and even to an extreme, your life choices. It can bring about a lot of revelations that may eventually bring more clarity into your life.

Whether you’re in search of adventure or looking to fill a void, joining couples hooking up can be a wonderful experience. But, it should never be entered into without thought and consideration.

However, the way it changes you, remember that how you respond to these changes will make the difference.

Be prepared for anything

There’s no denying that there are risks to joining couples hooking up, even if it seems like a really fun and exciting ride. It can change your life in many ways, so don’t hesitate to take your time.

This kind isn’t for everyone.

No one really knows how you will react before, during, or even after it happens. So be prepared for anything.

If you’re considering the hook-up, it’s important to be mindful of the potential consequences.

Perhaps more importantly than any other factor is your emotional readiness for this change. If you’re not emotionally or mentally prepared to handle what might happen, then don’t go through with it.

Know what you want from this type of relationship and communicate it well to the couple so there isn’t confusion about expectations. Negotiate boundaries and talk about what you expect before getting physical. Make sure it’s something you’re comfortable with.

This way, no one feels taken advantage of or has regrets when the relationship ends.

Remember, feelings can unexpectedly develop and change over time. You could get hurt when things don’t work out as planned.

Get a health check as a form of respect for the couple and, more importantly, for yourself. There is no shame in protecting yourself from any unnecessary headache and stress.

If anything, knowing that potential health issues are out of the picture might even get you to say “yes” to hooking up.

Hooking up with a couple can change you in unexpected ways that might not have been anticipated. They’re not for everyone, but can be very hot if you’ve got the right mindset and chemistry.

So if you’re up for it, go explore this new experience with an open mind, but protect yourself by knowing all the risks involved to avoid any future complications in your life.

Once you’ve made these considerations and feel confident in your choice, then go ahead!

What else do you think people must consider before agreeing to get intimate with someone?

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Written by Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific.

Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives.

Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience.

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Email: [email protected]

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