Paul Brian
What does it take to be cool?
It’s a question that has puzzled and intrigued us for generations.
But while opinions may vary on what constitutes true coolness, there are certain traits that cool individuals tend to embody.
These are not qualities that can be faked or put on like a costume – they are deeply ingrained aspects of a person’s character and demeanor.
In this article, we’re going to explore the top 10 traits of cool people, and why they matter in today’s world.
So whether you’re looking to up your cool factor, or simply curious about what makes some people effortlessly cool, read on.
1. Listen more, talk less
Cool people tend to listen more than they talk.
They speak their mind and are often skilled speakers, but they understand the value in listening.
This isn’t even about being polite or well-liked, it’s about being smart.
When you listen more, you learn more and gather more information.
This makes what you say more informed and complete, leading you to become a more effective and successful individual.
The cool man or woman knows this. That’s why they think before they speak and like to hear people out.
2. Believe in yourself
Next up, the cool individual believes in themselves despite all odds.
If you want to be cool, you need to always believe in yourself.
Far too often this is presented as having some kind of mantra or “thinking” you are great and worthy and skilled.
It’s not about that.
True belief is in your bones.
True belief is when the whole crowd boos you and you still know you have greatness inside you and have done your best.
True belief in yourself is when you get dumped by the love of your life but still have a tiny corner of yourself that knows you will survive.
If you want to be cool you need to believe in yourself.
3. Believe in other people
The next of the top rules cool people live by to elevate their life is to believe in other people.
This is a lot easier once you truly believe in yourself and your mission and role in the world.
You see people struggling, you offer a word of encouragement or some help.
You meet a young entrepreneur and you see potential where others just see scattered ideas.
You date somebody with issues and see the chance of real love despite the awful things they’re going through.
You never cross the line of being codependent or sabotaging yourself for others, but you do care. And you believe in the power people have inside themselves.
4. Develop a personal style
Another of the rules cool people live by to elevate their life is to develop a personal style.
It may fit into an existing genre or crowd, or it may not.
Cool people are the ones who develop trends that others follow.
Cool people have a way they dress and groom themselves that others look up to.
Often this is popularly seen as evidence that they are especially charismatic or a style or fashion genius.
That’s not necessarily true:
It’s that the cool individual owns his or her style. They don’t ask if they look good.
They know they do. Plus they give more importance to how they feel, anyway.
5. Learn skills that are useful
Cool people don’t just look good and have an upbeat, can-do attitude.
They also know what they’re doing.
They learn skills that are useful and end up being the hero of many situations because of the skills they know.
If you want to be cool, learn how to change a tire or repair clothes on the go if they rip.
If you want to be cool, figure out how to do basic coding on the computer to fix an email issue your friend is having.
There’s so much more to being truly cool than just the surface appearance!
6. Don’t go all in too fast
Cool people act boldly when they want to, but they aren’t reckless.
They may tell someone they love them, but only after really thinking about it and considering the consequences if the other individual does not feel the same.
Cool people don’t go all in too fast.
To take a gambling metaphor, an uncool person will bet recklessly and chase losses, throwing their money around and getting frustrated when they lose and euphoric when they win, pounding the table and looking for high fives.
A cool guy or girl? They will sit there sipping a tasteful cocktail, considering their poker hand and making moderate bets.
They won’t react overly happily or sadly at winning or losing.
When this person does go all in? Everyone else folds because they know this person ain’t joking around.
7. Know when to put yourself first
As I said, cool people care about others.
But they never harm themselves or go so overboard that somebody else runs their life or is a drag on their life.
They are prepared for adversity to support friends or family, but not for abuse.
If they are being verbally, emotionally, financially or physically mistreated by anyone, they leave.
Cool people don’t take shit.
And they certainly don’t listen to people who tell them why they should or try to gaslight them.
This ties into my next point.
8. Learn to love without dependency
If you want to be cool you need to learn to love without dependency.
This is one of the most difficult things any of us can do and most people go their whole lives without ever being able to truly feel OK in themselves without somebody else’s validation.
But if you learn to love without dependency you become cool.
You can give affection and intimacy and provide it. You can make commitments.
But you don’t get locked in toxic relationships anymore.
9. Accept yourself instead of looking for acceptance
Cool people accept themselves.
They recognize their faults, but they never doubt their fundamental core value and worth.
They want to improve, but they want to improve because they know that they are worth it.
To be cool means to know that you are a worthy and high value person rather than seeking others to tell you that you are.0 r
Leading directly to the most important point of all about what to do if you want to be cool…
10. Stop trying to be cool
If you want to be cool, stop trying to be cool!
The biggest “secret” that cool people have is that they don’t want or need the approval of others.
They follow their passions and their interests and they let people come to them.
They’re a magnet who draws others toward them.
They’re never chasing, always being followed.
And even if they’re not being followed or appreciated, they appreciate themselves and are happy pursuing their life’s goals.
