You know a classy woman when you see one, but it can be difficult to determine what exactly makes her classy.
Is it her fashion sense? Is it gold jewelry? Is it the way she smiles or walks?
While these factors can certainly contribute to class, there is probably none more important than the way she talks.
To be a woman of class means articulating herself elegantly every chance she gets.
Here are 12 things classy women would never say:
1) They Don’t Use Filler Words
We tend to use filler words – such as “like”, “uh”, “umm” – to fill in the time when we’re trying to figure out the right words to say or if we’re unsure about our statements and arguments.
And while it’s completely fine to use filler words every now and then, using them excessively makes us look unconfident.
No matter how fashionable you are or how well you speak, if you don’t exude confidence, people won’t see you as a classy lady.
If you’ve observed that you are using too many filler words in your normal conversations, take a pause and try to collect your thoughts. Think before you speak.
2) They Don’t Swear
Bad habits die hard.
We might not even be aware of them, but some of us have a tendency to curse every few sentences or so.
It takes some level of self-awareness to notice these tics.
Take note that classy women don’t use aggressive language, and that includes their tone and gestures.
Classy women don’t speak carelessly.
They’re intentional with their words and speak in an elegant manner.
They also don’t need to use profanity to tell someone that they’re taking so long to use the bathroom or that a waiter got their order wrong.
3) They Never Say “Give Me That”
Classy women know that money, social status, and a rich network can disappear at any time, but their character, their values, and what they stand for, can never be taken away from them.
Blurting “give me that” reeks of insensitivity and disrespect.
People who do this think that everything can be handed to them on a silver platter.
This might sound like a stretch, but I consider someone a high-value woman if they’re never desperate for men, relationships, career opportunities, or anything really.
They put a premium on their purpose, their advocacy – and you know they worked hard to get to where they are now. Just look at Michelle Obama, Melinda Gates, and Oprah Winfrey.
4) They Never Overtly Ask for Sex
There’s elegance in discretion. Every classy woman knows this. She knows that she doesn’t need to chase men nor does she have to tell people that she wants to have sex on occasion.
She also saves her sexual power for one man, someone she knows is worth her time, attention, and investment.
Speaking of which, in case you’ve forgotten about how a high-caliber woman should act when it comes to dating, please never let a man become your whole world.
Spend your time having a life and not texting that guy every minute about what they’re up to.
Also, please don’t be that one friend that ghosts all their friends once they’re in a relationship.
5) They Don’t Give Unsolicited Opinions
No one likes hearing someone’s unsolicited opinion or advice, even on the internet.
If you keep insisting that people listen to what you have to say, you’d just come off as annoying and that only your voice matters.
Learn how to listen to other perspectives.
Also, when someone is about to open up to you, it’s best to ask them beforehand, “Are you looking for advice or just someone who’ll listen to you?”
I actually learned this golden rule from one of my high-value friends: the 10-second rule.
If someone can’t fix it in 10 seconds, there’s no need to point it out because chances are, they already know about it.
If their shoelaces are untied, let them know.
But if you’re about to talk about how they’ve gained a few pounds, shut it.
6) They Never Overcommit
Elegance is more than how you dress or how you present yourself. It’s a state of mind.
Elegant women are focused. They know their priorities and what matters to them.
They rarely feel out of control because they’re intentional with their time and energy.
When they commit to something – whether that’s a relationship, a hangout, or business venture – they’re a woman of their word.
I’ve noticed that the classy women in my life embody the mantra, “Less is more.”
When you commit to less things, you end up, paradoxically, doing more.
I used to admire them for being able to do so much with their time, heads down and hustling until they get everything that they want, but they’ve changed.
They’re no longer chasing milestone after milestone; they’d rather spend more time with the people that matter and doing things that fulfill their soul.
7) They Aren’t Insensitive to Cultural Differences
Never say anything negative about a certain individual, race, country, or culture.
Not only does it leave a bad taste in their mouth, but it also shows that you’re not socially and culturally aware.
The same goes for sensitive, taboo topics – like politics, sex, and religion – which can easily rub people the wrong way.
That said, class women respect other people’s opinions.
They know how to agree to disagree, how to handle clashing points of view, and listen.
As much as possible, they also keep the conversation in a positive light.
8) They Don’t Waste Time on Gossip
Gossip doesn’t contribute anything valuable to one’s professional or personal life, or even to society. It can do more harm than good at times.
While classy women will smile and nod when their friends are gossiping, she does it out of respect.
If given the option, she would change the topic to something of substance because she values her time and mental health.
Classy women also don’t engage in drama nor do they create it. For them, drama is only for the movies.
They’ve learned from experience that unnecessary drama takes away from one’s ability to live life to the fullest.
They now know where to draw boundaries and how to manage their emotions.
9) They Never Get Angry in Public
Maybe someone cut you in line at a restaurant or maybe you have an officemate who has been getting on your nerves – it’s never okay to make a scene.
Being a classy woman means keeping your cool.
While I know it can feel tempting to lash out and release all that pent-up frustrations, remind yourself that you’re a mature power woman. Some people aren’t worth your time.
There are various strategies for you to release rage healthily.
Take it from me, someone who tends to forget that my rest time is not up for grabs.
Aside from my morning walks, I like relieving all my pent-up stress by doing physical activity and dancing with friends.
I don’t let my emotions explode, but I also don’t bottle up my negative emotions.
These have to come out, one way or another.
10) They Never Show Off
There is some truth in the saying, “Money can’t buy class.”
Elegant women prefer keeping a low profile.
They don’t flaunt their money nor do they tell people about their new designer bag, their famous friends, or the far away places that they’ve traveled to.
While there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your hard-earned money, you can do so quietly and elegantly.
If you’re wearing designer labels from head to toe, it looks tacky and it’s like you’re trying too hard.
Stay simple and be content with what you already have. Materialistic things aren’t always worth their price.
11) They Never Overshare
Classy women never share too many details about their personal lives.
This is not just to protect their privacy but to also keep an air of mystery.
Mystery is attractive — it makes you intriguing.
People are more inclined to have conversations with you because they know they wouldn’t get bored.
They’ll just keep asking you more questions.
Once I was in an overcrowded coffee shop, and I had no choice but to sit beside a woman who was busy reading the newspaper.
I wanted to finish my morning cup of coffee, but instead, this complete stranger puts down the newspaper and starts telling me that her stomach started to hurt and that she might be pregnant.
I didn’t need to know this nor did I know what to say afterward. Oversharing is not classy but also unprofessional.
12) They Don’t Say “Sorry” For Knowing Their Worth
No matter what the situation may be, classy women don’t minimize themselves just to maximize someone else.
They don’t play dumb, engage in self-deprecating humor, or ignore their accomplishments.
They don’t feel the need to shrink themselves just to fit in.
Rather, they surround themselves with people who make room for them, those who don’t drain them.
After all, peace of mind is more important than something that causes you to wear down overtime.
If you think about it, any woman can be classy: sophisticated clothing, afternoon tea, a natural makeup look.
But “class” isn’t something you wear, it’s who you are – from the way you think, control your emotions, to how you relate with others.
If you want to be perceived as a classy woman, you need to be mindful of the things you say and how you say them.
That way, you can be classy even if you’re riding a train or eating at a fast food restaurant.