It isn’t hard to identify the snob in your life: they’re constantly talking about their new car, new house, and new clothes. That seems to be the only topic they can spend hours discussing.
Of course, they won’t miss a chance to make you feel inferior with it. Snobs tend to think that they’re better than everyone else.
I wrote these ten traits of snobs so you can spot them and swiftly deal with them.
How to deal with a snob: 10 key traits of snobbish people
The first characteristic is that they’ll take the smallest detail about yourself and come to a very quick conclusion about you. Spoiler alert: it won’t be a positive one.
They will give you the attention you think you deserve, not the attention you might need.
Some snobs will ask what your connections to rich people are, and others will ask about your work achievements. If they deem that you’re inferior, you’ll know.
Keep reading to find out other traits about snobs.
1) They’re very arrogant
Snobs consider themselves experts in everything, and they act according to that belief. They speak like everything they say is important, and they get mad when others aren’t paying attention.
Whatever you say to them, they will either take it –if it makes them look good– dismiss it, or even get angry if you speak without catering to their need for validation.
You’re not important; they are!
If you send them a message and they feel like you’re not that great, they will take a long time to answer, or they’ll even ignore you.
2) They don’t accept your choices
This is better explained by a personal example. I used to dye my hair ginger, and I have a cousin who doesn’t consider hair dye as something “refined.”
Whenever she saw me with a different shade of red, she’d remark on it by making a “smart” comment about how my hair looked. This happened more than once, by the way!
Snobs will actively look for excuses to try and make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t buy into their games.
3) They’re not kind to other people
Kindness is a quality that can be developed, but unfortunately, snobbish people don’t care about it.
Hostility, negativity, and low self-worth aren’t compatible with being kind. Instead, snobs try to make people feel as bad as they do.
A snob probably won’t support you in your growth. Instead, they’ll try to sink you to their level whenever they can.
4) They post everything they do
Now I’m not saying everyone active on social media is a snob. I’m just saying that part of being a snob is broadcasting their entire lives for everyone to see.
After all, for them, if something happens and nobody’s there to like it, it doesn’t count!
They think everyone wants to see everything they do, which is why they post so much.
Besides, they only post about the glamorous moments of their life. I had a classmate who used to post pictures she got from other influencers as if they were hers! She was a snob, a you might’ve guessed.
5) Snobs aren’t friendly
You can’t approach them trusting in their behavior: they won’t be great to be around. Even if they aren’t “bad” people, their actions aren’t good and seem fake or even hostile.
If you feel bad after talking to them, they’re probably snobs. They will make you believe you’re inferior.
This is the reason why many snobs don’t have a close circle of friends. They prefer to surround themselves with other snobs and people who they think are “elite.”
6) They subtly insult you
If you go out with a snob, they’ll most likely force you to go to places you don’t like or can’t afford. Snobs are all about showing they live a luxurious life even if they don’t.
They want to be seen and talked about, that’s why they’ll go anywhere trendy. If you don’t agree, they will make you feel like you’re missing out.
Even worse, they’ll act as if you’re a loser for liking stuff like Starbucks or Mcdonald’s instead of other trendier, more posh places.
7) They talk about money, but not in a good way
Snobs and money talk go hand in hand. Everything is about money with them: your clothes, your stuff, the places you go, and the way you look. They judge everything by how much it costs.
This is why they worry about money so much and the reason why they brag about the things they own. Their self-esteem is placed in things, not in themselves.
Talking about money with a snob is a mistake because they’ll either laugh at you or they’ll try to be your friend and brag about the fact that they know you. Either way, it’s best to stay away from snobbish people.
8) They’re condescending
Have you ever talked to a person and felt like they think they’re better than you? For example, I’ve had people explain my job to me as if I wasn’t doing it correctly.
Other snobs laughed when I told them I was saving up money to go to a concert or to travel. This is the oldest tactic in the book: making people feel like they’re “cringy” for the things they choose to enjoy.
Don’t fall for it!
You have the right to be yourself, despite what others might think. Being true to yourself will bring about better friends, and snobs will stay away when they realize you don’t care about their opinion.
9) They can’t stand jokes about themselves
Their pride is their fatal flaw. They will start screaming if someone makes a joke at their expense, even an innocent one.
Their insecurities will overwhelm them the instant they are laughed at. This is because they think everything they do or say is something to admire.
Unfortunately, this makes them miss opportunities to make new and funny friends. Nobody wants to be friends with a snob; other snobs just want to be equally or more important compared to each other.
Using humor to be friendlier is a great quality that attracts others and makes them feel comfortable.
10) They are very jealous
Snobs envy a lot of people. It’s not the good kind of envy, though. They will try and make people fail instead o supporting them. And when someone fails, a snob will be there to indicate they did.
If they’ve managed to be successful, they’ll be hunted by the fear that others are plotting to take them down. They will feel like everyone wants what they have.
This is all facade to protect their fragile egos. If they realized that honesty is the best policy, they wouldn’t suffer so needlessly.
How can you protect yourself from becoming a snob?
Now, this is where things get interesting. Everyone can act snobbish from time to time, even without noticing.
If you’ve ever laughed at someone for going somewhere, you consider inferior or actively wished you had what someone else has without consideration… you might have been sa bit snobbish. The good news is: this can change!
By changing your way of communicating, you will be able to make a better impression and avoid snobbish qualities in your own behavior.
Here’s some advice on how to avoid becoming a snob:
- Change your goals: try and make them meaningful to you rather than making them about other people.
- Start a conversation by asking other people to share about them instead of instantly talking about yourself. Instead of raving about the fanciest places in town, ask them what their favorite coffee shop is.
- Differences are positive, not something to laugh at. Certainly not something to measure someone’s worth.
- Realize that material possessions mean nothing. You can find great people in the most unlikely places.
- Appreciate what you have. Lots of people would love to be in your place and enjoy your life.
The key thing you have to understand if you’re trying to avoid becoming a snob is that you need to stick to your values.
The imbalance between your actions and your values is what creates low self-worth and the need to seek validation from others.
But where do you start?
The first step could be recognizing what your values are. Awareness is crucial for any self-improvement project.
Check out this free checklist. With a free exercise included in the checklist, you’ll get clarity on the values most important to you.
And once you have that, there’s no holding you back from creating a life with meaning and purpose!
How to deal with snobbish people
Coping with snobs, whether they are people close to you or someone you have to communicate with at work, is a skill that takes time to develop. However, learning it will make things easier.
Here are some tips to help you with it!
Be proud of your uniqueness
You don’t need attention or help from snobbish people. You don’t have to change to please them because you’re not wrong: they are.
By staying true to yourself, you avoid the feelings of inadequacy that snobs are so skilled at causing.
You’re as unique as they are, so try and find something positive to say about them. Remember that most of the time, they’re not trying to be mean; they’re just deeply insecure.
If you encourage them to show their real self and place their self-worth in their good qualities, they will change for the better. Most of the time, snobbery is a strategy to protect themselves from perceived “judgments.”
This is especially true if they’ve been raised to be snobs. People who don’t know how much better things can get when you’re honest with yourself and others are not to be antagonized.
Take a break from time to time
Being around snobs can be tiring. They’re evaluating you all the time, and even if you don’t care, it can get annoying pretty fast.
If you find yourself getting angry, take a moment. Go outside, breathe and come back stronger. Your mental health will thank you for it.
Unfortunately, sometimes putting distance between you and the snob is the only solution to maintaining a relationship and protecting your mental well-being.
Understand that they need sympathy
Think of someone who feels cornered and they lash out to defend themselves. Snobbery is one of the tools to do it. The best one, perhaps, because it’s a way to neutralize the threat of being rejected.
Unfortunately, snobs apply this technique with pretty much everyone, but it only makes them feel lonelier rather than happier.
Getting angry isn’t worth it. Try and see them as what they really are: people who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. Smile, be supportive, and don’t force yourself to be liked by them.
Don’t mix past and present
We’ve all done it, including, of course, myself. Assuming someone’s intentions can go bad unexpectedly.
I used to feel that one of my best friends was trying to put me down for the things I like. It turned out that it was just their way of speaking, very similar to a person that had hurt me in the past.
Their intentions were nothing but kind to me, but I was acting on wrong assumptions.
The present was very different from the past I was trying to solve.
Don’t get caught up in the snobbery
If you act snobbish to repel a snob… I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re also being a snob.
You’re using the defense mechanism you’re trying to avoid. Putting someone down for what they like, even if they’re not great to be around, is snobbish.
Let their toxicity roll off your back because you don’t need it. The other person is misbehaving, not you.
As we’ve just discussed, snobbish behavior is largely based on insecurities. Snobs can’t stand the idea of being rejected or excluded from a social group, so they build up this defensive mechanism that they think protects them.
But what if you recognized some of the snob qualities in your own character? How can you overcome insecurities? It’s not that difficult!
The easiest and quickest way is to tap into your personal power.
We’re all very powerful people. Our qualities and potential are unique, but most people never even explore their different sides.
Self-doubt and limiting beliefs, sometimes inherited from our families, can stop us from living our best lives. This is why a lot of people feel unhappy with themselves and their skills.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s an expert at helping people find their true selves, allowing them to enjoy their work, families, and spiritual practices. Rudá can help you find and understand your power and avoid retreating to unproductive techniques such as being a snob.
His approach mixes traditional shamanic tools and techniques with all the advantages of modernity. He wants you to evolve and enjoy what you have, living in the present. He’s not looking for money or personal gain.
He knows that true power, the kind that stays with you forever, comes from within.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of by understanding your mind and your best qualities.
If you’re feeling frustrated, now is the moment to change things up and start over. Check out his incredible, life-changing notions of empowerment.
How can you recognize when someone’s a snob?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: snobs are not that hard to spot. When you meet someone wearing expensive, fancy clothes, trying to show off how much money they have, and putting people down at the same time, they’re probably snobbish.
If they can’t stand the thought of going to a cheap or not trendy place, there’s another red flag. If they’re constantly talking about their rich and influential friends, pay attention.
Snobs treat others badly, especially those they think are inferior. They want to be admired, but by the people, they consider “worthy of their time.”
They’re usually selfish, preferring to dedicate lots of time to their appearance and their social media than the real-life folks around them.
Finally, getting into a snobbish group of friends can be a horrible experience and a test of your self-esteem. Stay strong!