Kiran Athar
If you’ve ever truly studied someone who is attractive, you’ll notice that they aren’t always necessarily the best-looking person in the room.
It’s how they carry themselves that catches attention and makes them look confident and interesting.
And the good news is, this can be achieved by following the simple body language tricks I’ve listed below.
Want to instantly come across as more attractive? Read on.
1) Maintain good posture
In a nightclub once, I caught sight of my posture while sitting down in front of a huge mirror.
I can laugh about it now, but honestly, I looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings – completely hunched over.
It wasn’t a good look.
Since then, I’ve been working on sitting up straight and rolling my shoulders back. This is something that’s actually been studied and as Healthline reports:
“Not only can good posture boost your energy levels and reduce your pain, it can also increase your self-esteem.”
And guess what – self-esteem is sexy. Confidence is attractive.
When you feel that way about yourself, other people start seeing you the same way.
2) Smile genuinely
Pay attention to the word “genuinely” because that’s a key factor.
Fake smiles are very easy to spot and they’re extremely off putting.
On the other hand, if you smile often and really mean it, it gives off the impression that you’re inviting and friendly.
Now, I know there’s a theory that to be attractive you need to look sulky and mysterious.
And that might work for some people.
But the majority of us find friendliness and openness attractive – we also feel more comfortable approaching someone who is smiley rather than straight-faced.
3) Eye contact
Now for my favorite body language trick – eye contact.
I spent most of my late teens and early 20s perfecting this trick because I’m pretty crap at flirting. So I figured I might as well learn how to do it with my eyes!
Essentially, you want to maintain enough contact to show you’re interested, but not too much that it becomes creepy.
There are also little ways you can send signals with your eyes…
- Hold eye contact just for a second too long and then look away – this signals you’re interested.
- If on a date, look into their eyes, and then casually glance down at their lips and then back into their eyes – this signals you’re open to kiss.
- Blink softly. This gives the impression you’re confident, calm, and relaxed. Rapid and hard blinking will make you look nervous or stressed.
And when you walk into a room, or cafe, look around. Look at people and make eye contact. Give a small nod or a smile.
This exudes confidence and will make you appear way more attractive.
4) Open body language
I’d like you to imagine someone sitting in two different positions:
The first position is on a chair with their arms and legs crossed. Slightly hunched forward, hiding their hands in their armpits.
In the second position, they’re leaning back in the chair, with their arms either on the armrest or resting on the back of the chair next to them.
Their legs are casually placed, or crossed at the ankles elegantly (ladies).
I think it’s quite clear which is the more attractive stance to take.
You see, the first is defensive. It screams, “Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, I’m not here!”
The second says, “Hey, I’m relaxing here, feel free to come and say hi.”
And of course, paired with a good posture, eye contact, and a smile, you can’t go wrong with the second option.
5) Mirroring
Did you know that narcissists use mirroring to lure their victims in?
Of course, you’re not a narcissist, you’re someone who just wants to come across as more attractive.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t take a leaf out of a narcissist’s book – after all, they do it best!
Essentially, when you mirror someone’s actions, you’re building a connection with them.
They smile, so you smile. They take a sip of their drink, and you do the same. This behavior tells the other person that you’re just like them.
You’re not a threat. You’re similar.
Obviously, when a narcissist does it, it’s for their own personal gain. They’ve usually got a motive behind it.
But when you do it, you’ll build rapport and make the other person feel at ease. And trust me, there’s nothing more attractive than feeling safe and comfortable in someone else’s company, especially when you first meet them.
6) Use gestures
You might not have thought about this before, but even your hands can be used to increase attractivity.
First things first, keep your hands nicely groomed. Dirty nails, heavily chomped-on nails, and dry skin aren’t a good look.
Secondly, you want to use your hands to emphasize the things you’re saying. This makes you seem passionate about what you’re talking about, and it keeps people’s eyes on you.
Thirdly, you don’t want to overdo it. If your arms are flailing in the air and knocking over drinks, you’re going too far.
You can even practice this in the mirror (alongside the other tips shared in this article) to see which hand positions suit you best.
7) Lean in slightly
Another trick to keep in mind when trying to be more attractive is leaning in, but just ever so slightly.
Remember, you don’t want to look hunched over.
But by leaning in, you’re showing the other person that you’re interested in what they’re saying.
Also, in the context of a date or when speaking to a crush, you’re closing the gap between you and venturing a bit closer to their personal space.
This sends a non-verbal signal to them that you’re comfortable around them and confident within yourself.
But as with anything, don’t take it too far. You don’t want to accidentally invade their personal space and make them uncomfortable.
8) Controlled facial expressions
And finally, be aware of your facial expressions.
As someone who tends to have a resting bitch face when I’m listening, I’ve learned to be a bit more animated with my facial expressions so I don’t appear uninterested.
But it’s important not to be overly animated – this can make you seem dramatic or fake.
Another top tip is learning how to control your facial reactions to things you don’t necessarily like or agree with.
If you roll your eyes, squint them, flare your nostrils, or turn up the corners of your mouth into a sneer, this can be very off putting.
But hey – I’m not here to dictate your facial expressions, only to remind you that a neutral face or a smiling face is most attractive.
Ultimately, these little tricks can make you come across as confident, open, and friendly. Use them at work, on dates, and even on the bus on your way home. Practice makes perfect!
