So how do you know if your boss likes you – or if they’re just being nice to you?
IMHO, it’s all about observing their body language. As they always say: actions speak louder than words.
So if I were you, you better be on the lookout for any of these 19 cues that prove that your boss is into you.
1) They lean close to you
Does your boss often lean into you in every conversation you have?
One reason is that they can’t hear what you say. But if you’re speaking in an already modulated voice, then their leaning in is a sign that they like you.
See, we all like to keep our private space – well, private. That’s why leaning in is considered a sign of attraction. As per a BetterHelp report, it showcases “a desire for greater intimacy, and a desire to pay close attention to you.”
2) Your boss keeps on glancing at you
If your boss keeps on glancing at you, you might not make a big deal out of it.
But I think you should.
For one, body language experts say that this is a sign that someone likes you – or lusts for you.
Case in point: a report has shown that “a glance at a person’s face tends to indicate romantic love, whereas looking at a person’s body is associated with feelings of sexual desire.”
So the next time they look at you, take note of where they’re looking. You may not know it, but he might actually have the hots for you (yes, this is a double-entendre.)
3) Their eyes shine
So your boss keeps on glancing at you. If you want to be certain that they like you, then try to look into their eyes.
Are they shiny?
If they are, then it’s a sign that they possibly like you.
According to a Today article, this happens because ‘the eyes have a tiny gland on the bottom of the eyelid secreting liquids such as tears and lubrication. So when a person is interested or excited, the glands tend to secrete liquid, thus giving the eyes the shiny appearance.”
4) Their eyebrows flash
Do their eyebrows raise slightly when they talk to you – or whenever you’re around? This eyebrow flash, according to Science of People, is a “great sign of interest.” In a nutshell, it’s their way of saying “look at me!”
While it’s often viewed as a sign of professional interest – such as agreeing or approving something – there’s no doubt that it could also “ show interest romantically.”
In fact, “when you see someone you like or who you want to like you,” experts believe that all you need to do is “give them a quick eyebrow flash followed by a warm smile.”
Speaking of smiles…
5) They keep on smiling at you
I know this doesn’t sound like a big deal because smiling is simple human courtesy. But if your boss keeps on smiling at you – when they have an RBF towards everyone – then it’s possible that they like you.
That’s because “Smiling typically makes you more attractive and inviting, while also expressing interest in another person,” explains the BetterHelp report I mentioned above.
Since smiling can also be a sign of mere politeness, make sure to look for a genuine smile, “which tends to reach the eyes.”
6) Your boss blushes whenever you’re around
Our faces blush when we feel excited – or sense a rush of adrenaline. And this is exactly what happens when you like a person.
So unless your boss is angry or humiliated – just a few things that can also trigger blushing – I dare say this is a sign that they’re into you.
Indeed, “Blushing is an honest response,” remarked Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D., in a Mind Body Green (MBG) article for you can’t hide it. Simply put, it’s a physical sign that you’re “sexually excited about another person.”
7) They mirror your actions
Does your boss mimic your stance – and hold their mug just like you?
Perhaps they’re using the same phrases/remarks you do?
According to experts, when someone unconsciously (or consciously) ‘mimics’ your behaviors and mannerisms, it’s a sign they like you.
Your boss may be doing this to “create a bond or feel more aligned with you,” according to MBG.
8) Their head tilts when they talk to you
You may notice that your boss’ head is often tilted when you talk to them. While it may not seem much, this type of open body language says so much more.
It’s actually a sign of attraction for it ‘softens you,’ according to the Science of People article I’ve cited above.
See, the neck “is one of your most vulnerable areas. Neck skin is much thinner and requires protection. And exposing your neck and throat opens you up.”
So if your boss tilts their head, “they are showing that they’re comfortable enough to let their neck be exposed.”
9) Their voice changes when they talk to you
Your boss’ voice is another indicator that they’re into you.
A male superior will tend to “deepen their voice to appear more dominant in response to sexual attraction,” according to the MBG article above. (And yes, I’ve noticed my husband did this when he was still courting me.)
Women, on the other hand, “may make their voice more high-pitched.”
Your boss may be doing this consciously – or unconsciously – to stand out from the crowd. They’re changing their tone so you could distinguish them from all of the others in the office.
10) Your boss keeps on laughing at your jokes (and they’re not that funny)
Your jokes are bad, corny even. But for some bizarre reason, your boss keeps on laughing whenever you throw one.
It’s possible that they’re just being respectful, although there’s a chance that they’re doing it because they like you.
According to neuroscientist and professor Sophie Scott, “You’re laughing to show you agree with people, that you’re in the same group as them, that you like them. If you didn’t like them you wouldn’t give them your laughter.”
11) They’re very flirty towards you – and only you
This is fairly obvious.
If you want to be 100% sure, I suggest observing how they interact with your co-workers. If your boss is all ‘business is usual’ with them – but more ‘charming’ when it comes to you, then treat it as some sort of confirmation.
Don’t be surprised if your nosy co-workers, who notice this ‘special treatment,’ tell you this as well!
12) He’s trying to look more dominant
Now, this is something you may see in male bosses.
He’ll try to look ‘dominant’ by being more competitive, authoritative, or assertive. He’ll even use strong, passionate eye contact.
Stance-wise, he may be conveying this by standing with his feet 6-10 inches apart, making sure his toes are pointed outward.
As to why some men do this, it’s largely because he knows that dominance attracts women.
In fact, a Psychology Today article has shown that “dominant males would be more appealing to women for brief sexual partners.”
13) She walks sexily
If your female boss keeps on strutting her stuff whenever you’re around, then it may be her way of telling you that she likes you.
Some women do this because a report has shown that those “who take shorter steps and wiggle their hips are seen as more attractive.”
Researchers believe they help give “important clues to a woman’s fitness and age – key components of reproductive health.”
14) They ‘preen’ in your presence…
Preening is not only reserved for birds. It can be seen in your boss (and other people too), especially if they like you.
After all, it’s the act of spending time “making yourself look attractive.”
Tactics vary according to gender, of course.
If you have a male boss, then he may “pitch and roll their shoulders, stretch, exaggerate their body movements,” according to Psychology Today.
(And yes, I also saw these preening acts when my husband was trying to make a move.)
Females, on the other hand, may “twist their curls, tilt their heads, look up coyly, giggle, raise their brows, flick their tongues, lick their upper lips, blush, and hide their faces to signal, “I am here.”
These behaviors can also be your lady boss’ ways of showing her femininity, which, according to her experts, is a sign that she’s into you.
15) …or they keep on fidgeting
Does your boss often seem like a train wreck whenever you’re around? Well, this fidgety behavior is a sign that they’re anxious – or excited – to see you.
That’s why they keep on stroking their arms or fiddling with their things whenever they talk to you.
This brings me back to our courting stage – my husband was so fidgety that it seems like he drank 3 cups of coffee – and an energy drink!
Going back to my example, body language expert Maryann Karinch explained in her Bustle interview that “attraction often involves a kind of tension we might call ‘good stress. Whether stress is caused by something ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ the body has some similar responses.”
And since your boss “finds you exciting, these self-soothing movements might occur more frequently.”
16) Your boss is VERY touchy-feely
Typical bosses often give a handshake or a tap on the shoulder for a job well done – if they do that at all.
Heck, you may just get a flat ‘Congratulations’ and that’s it.
That’s why if your boss is being more touchy-feely than usual, a.k.a giving more hugs than they should or touching your knees, then it’s a clear sign that they like you.
And while this may be a playful attempt on their part, there’s no denying that this may feel awkward on your side. If this is the case, do tell HR.
17) They make sure to remove barriers when they talk to you
Does your boss always remove the ‘barriers’ between you whenever you talk? Whether they’re doing this when deliberating about work or eating lunch at the cafeteria, it’s a clear sign that your boss likes you.
They do this because “This lets you into their personal space, makes you feel physically closer, and makes it easier for them to reach out,” according to MBG.
18) They’re ‘hot’
Let’s say you keep on ‘brushing in’ with your boss (they tend to be touchy-feely, after all.) You notice that they’re hot – in terms of body temperature, of course.
It may not ‘feel’ like it, but it’s a sign that they like you (unless they’ve come from a workout or a long walk outside.)
As the MBG article above explains it, “the increase in your body’s temperature is also a byproduct of sexual response.”
So that’s why my husband feels like he came out of the oven whenever we’re together…
19) Your boss is ‘glowing’
You notice your boss is glowing – so you can’t help but ask them about their skincare routine. If they tell you that they haven’t done anything new to their skin, don’t be envious.
It’s either they won the genetic lottery, or they like you. (I’d like to stand with the latter.)
In a Bustle article, body language expert Tiffany Toombs explained that this happens because “our pores open” when we like someone.
As a result, their skin produces more oil – and it becomes shinier.
Take note, there’s a difference between glistening and grease! I’m sure you’ll notice if your boss has just skipped a bath or if they’re glowing in attraction.
As I’ve mentioned in the beginning, actions speak louder than words. So even if your boss is not vocal about liking you, they may unwittingly show it through any of the 19 signs I’ve mentioned above.
The question is, do you feel the same way? Because if you do, there might probably be a lot of HR rules you need to contend with.
A workplace affair is often considered shaky ground, so be careful should you decide to tread on it!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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