Mal James
We’ve all come across those folks who seem to have stepped right out of a movie scene, exuding a natural, effortless elegance without uttering a single word.
How do they pull it off?
Well, it has a lot to do with body language. Research has shown that 55% of our communication prowess is in our nonverbal cues. The words we say make up just 7% .
Even small tweaks in the way we hold ourselves can dramatically shift how others perceive us.
With this in mind, today we dive into nine body language hacks that will have you oozing elegance and sophistication.
Ready to make a strong impression without saying a word?
Let’s get to it.
1) Walk tall
Did you know that there’s more to walking than just putting one foot in front of the other?
I know it sounds silly but it’s not just about getting from point A to B; how we walk speaks volumes.
Picture someone hunched over, looking at the ground just in front of them as they walk. ‘Elegant’ or ‘Sophisticated’ are not the first words that spring to mind, right?
Walking properly isn’t just essential for looking elegant; it’s also beneficial for your health.
But how do we do it?
Harvard Health lays it out clearly: to walk like someone who’s got their life together, you need to:
- Stand tall.
- Look where you are going, not at your shoes.
- Keep your shoulders back and relaxed.
- Let your arms swing naturally from the shoulders as you walk.
And as a bonus, here’s a neat little piece of advice from a TikTok etiquette coach that I came across: “Keep your chin parallel to the floor.” It’s a simple tweak, but it adds that touch of poise and assurance to your stride.
Give these tips a shot. They sound condescendingly simply but they can make a huge difference not only to how you appear but to how you look.
2) Keep your elbows off the dining table
Ever caught yourself resting your elbows on the table during a meal and wondered if it really matters?
Well, it does.
As etiquette expert Alice Draper explained in a recent Business Insider post, it’s one of the most common dining mistakes people make.
The simple act of keeping your elbows off the table while eating not only shows respect for the people you’re dining with but also demonstrates your mindfulness about social graces.
It’s these little details like these that can elevate your presence from ordinary to impressive.
3) Open (and hold) doors with your hands, not your feet
Picture this: You’re in a rush, or maybe you’re carrying a cup of coffee in one hand, your briefcase in the other. The door ahead is your only obstacle.
In the haste of the moment, you choose the path of least resistance – you nudge the door open with your foot.
Sure, it’s convenient, but let’s face it: it’s far from elegant.
More than this, in some cultures, using your foot to open a door is a big faux pas. It’s about respect and decorum.
During my time volunteering in India during university, one of the first things I was told was never to open a door with my foot.
Anyway, opening and holding doors with your hands is a small gesture, but it speaks volumes.
4) Keep your back straight when sitting
We’ve all heard the phrase “Chin up, shoulders back,” right?
It may be overused but it’s good advice if you want to look sophisticated and in control. But this isn’t just about standing; it applies equally when you’re sitting.
In a world where slouching in front of screens is the norm, maintaining an upright posture while seated sets you apart.
Think of it as ‘Standing Tall’ even when you’re sitting down.
5) Take advantage of mirroring
Mirroring is a bit of a buzzword these days, but what does it actually mean?
As noted by the Berkeley Wellbeing Institute, it’s “when we unconsciously imitate others during social interactions.”
It sounds simple but its power is backed up by numerous studies.
For instance, one study found that mirroring creates social bonds and enhances social connections. Another showed that it fosters a sense of similarity and shared experience, making interactions smoother and more harmonious.
Basically, it’s a sophisticated way to make yourself more likable and trustworthy in the eyes of others. Next time you’re in a social setting, take advantage of it.
6) Don’t stand too close
We’ve all been there: in a conversation where the other person stands just a bit too close for comfort.
You feel their breath, their presence encroaching on your personal space, and all you can think about is getting away from them. It’s anything but sophisticated, isn’t it?
Understanding and maintaining an acceptable distance when interacting with others is crucial in being perceived as elegant and sophisticated.
But what is an ‘acceptable distance’?
Well, it’s complicated. The concept of personal space can vary widely by culture. If you’ve traveled extensively, you might have noticed this firsthand.
A study reported in by the Washington Post which surveyed over 9,000 people from 42 countries, revealed notable variations in preferred interpersonal distances.
In Romania, for example, people maintain a distance 4.6 feet from strangers, while in Argentina, the norm is much closer, around 2.5 feet. The USA finds a middle ground, with an average distance of 3.1 feet.
Anyway, the point is the personal space matters.
Next time you’re engaging in a conversation, be extra mindful of the distance you keep, especially if you are away from home or speaking with someone from a different culture.
7) Give a firm, but not too firm, handshake
“Your handshake is your introduction before you even speak.” I remember my father drilling this into me as a teenager, emphasizing the importance of that first physical interaction.
And he was absolutely right.
As I have came to truly realize early in my career, a handshake is more than just a greeting; it’s a signal of our confidence, reliability, and respect for the person we’re meeting. It sets the tone for the interaction that follows.
But most people are either too firm or too soft. Their handshake is either limp as if they don’t care, or they squeeze your hand off.
The key is to strike a balance – firm enough to show confidence but not so firm that it becomes a test of strength. You want the other person to feel welcomed, not overpowered.
Additionally, while shaking hands, it’s crucial to maintain eye contact.
This combination of a balanced handshake and direct eye contact makes us look put together and sophisticated.
8) Make eye contact (but not too much)
Did you know that research has shown we find people more attractive when they make eye contact?
Eye contact is a powerful tool in communication, signaling interest, confidence, and sincerity.
It’s about engaging with the person you’re talking to, showing you’re fully present in the conversation.
But it’s a balancing act – too little can make you seem disinterested or shy, while too much can come across as intimidating or confrontational. Aim for a gaze that’s attentive yet relaxed, breaking eye contact naturally at intervals to give a sense of ease to the conversation.
Done right, this can significantly enhance your social interactions, making you appear more approachable, confident, and, indeed, sophisticated.
9) Use utensils as they were intended
This point is a bit general, as there are so many nuances to dining that I could (and might) write a full article on it.
But for now, know this: if you want to come across as sophisticated and elegant, you should use utensils as they were intended.
I’ll admit that I was guilty of not doing this in the past. Maybe you are, too.
What do I mean?
Well first off, a fork is not a spoon. Forks are designed for spearing and lifting food, not for scooping or shoveling it into your mouth. Being mindful of this small detail can make a significant difference in how you are perceived at the table.
The stem of a wine glass is there so you can hold the glass without affecting the temperature of the wine with the warmth of your hand. Make use of it. This is especially important for white and sparkling wines, which are best enjoyed chilled.
Gripping the body of a mug might be tempting, especially on a cold day, but using the handle is the more elegant way to enjoy your tea or coffee.
Lastly (for today), the napkin. It’s provided in restaurants for a reason: to use, not just as a decorative item.
While you may not think these aren’t a big deal, many people notice.
Next time you’re dining, keep these tips in mind. They’re simple, yet they go a long way in showcasing your elegance and sophistication.
The bottom line
These nine body language hacks can significantly elevate your elegance and sophistication.
They are small changes, but can have a big impact.
Put them into practice if you really want to make a lasting impression.
Until next time.
