Eliza Hartley
I recently went on holiday with a friend of mine. We’ve been good friends for a while and always enjoyed each other’s company.
However, this was the first time we went away just the two of us.
We shared a hotel room and spent every moment together for five days in a row. I won’t lie, it turned out to be a bit too much.
All this intimate time together made me start to see a different side to her — she is kind of spoiled!
At first, I thought it was just my imagination and I gave myself an internal scolding for thinking negative thoughts about her.
But then it just couldn’t be ignored anymore!
You might be asking yourself “What are the signs you’re dealing with a spoiled person?”
If so, stick around. I’ll cover seven signs you might be dealing with an entitled or spoiled person.
1) They expect you to do everything
Perhaps I’m just being petty, but it got really annoying to be expected to always hold the door open for her and order her food.
At first, I didn’t even notice it, but by the end of the five days, I was left wondering why she thought I should be doing that. Did she see me as a slave or what?
It was just that though. Even something as simple as pressing the button in the elevator, she literally NEVER did it.
She would just stubbornly wait for me to do it, and once she even just stood there and said “Push the button.”
Small things — I get it. They probably should bother me. And typically, they don’t.
But when it’s so full-on like that and you’re expected to do everything — even the tiny little things, it can get frustrating. At least, for me.
It caught me so off-guard that I didn’t even know how to say it to her.
Truth be told, I doubt she was even aware of it. It just kind of signaled that she was used to being spoiled by the people around her and now, she low-key expects everyone else to do the same.
Is it a coincidence that she’s the youngest child and married to a man who does everything for her?
2) They consistently prioritize their needs over yours
You want to eat Indian but they want to eat seafood? You’re eating seafood.
Want to go to the beach but they want to go shopping? You’re going shopping.
Don’t want to buy anything? That’s okay. You can just follow them around like a mindless idiot.
Don’t want to follow them around? They tell you that you abandoned them!
Okay — sorry, I’m vented now. But you recognize this behavioral pattern, right? These types of behaviors portray a subtle message.
What’s the message? It’s “I don’t care about your needs. I only care about mine. And I expect you to do the same.”
Other signs they don’t care about your needs include:
- Never asking how you feel
- Never asking what you’d like to do
- Talking over you when you’re sharing feelings
Sounds familiar? Don’t be shocked when a person like doesn’t want to share their food with you.
3) They don’t know how to share
Okay, I’m sorry to keep taking this back to my friend. Last time — I promise.
You tell me, was it a coincidence that EVERY time we shared something, she always got the bigger portion?
It didn’t matter if it was a pastry, a pizza, or a seafood paella. She ended up with more of it every single time.
I’m not usually the kind of person who even pays attention to stuff like that. But I couldn’t NOT notice anymore.
Sharing is a fundamental skill we should have all learned as children.
Remember when your mom told you to share your toys?
Well, some people must have missed that lesson.
An incredibly spoiled person often shows a strong sense of possessiveness — not just with their things but with people and time. According to one study, sharing is linked to empathy levels.
Spoiled people might not lend you a pen, let alone their time or attention unless there’s something in it for them.
Oh and that cake? They’re getting a much bigger slice than you!
4) Adult tantrums
We’ve all seen kids throw tantrums, right?
But when adults do it, it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion — you just can’t look away even though it’s painful to watch.
Spoiled people often lack emotional regulation, as highlighted by Smith and Elliott in their 2015 study on emotional intelligence.
When things don’t go their way, they sulk, pout, or even lash out.
You might wonder, where does this behavior come from?
Believe it or not, it’s often the result of a lifetime of always getting their way. Imagine being raised in an environment where every whim is catered to, where no desire is too small or insignificant to be fulfilled.
This kind of upbringing breeds an expectation that the world will always bend to their will.
When faced with the harsh reality that the world doesn’t revolve around them, the reaction is nothing short of explosive.
5) Patience — Not a virtue they possess
Whether it’s in line for coffee or for their turn to speak, the spoiled person’s patience is thinner than my grandmother’s hair.
It’s all about instant gratification for them.
This trait ties back to the concept of delay of gratification, which Walter Mischel’s famous marshmallow experiment explored.
Spoiled people often struggle with this concept, expecting immediate results and responses.
You can almost see them almost jumping out of their own skin when waiting in a queue. It’s like they can’t accept the fact they have to be on the same level as everyone else.
They don’t care that everyone else has to wait, too. They only care about the fact that they have to wait.
6) They believe the world owes them something
This is the pièce de résistance of being spoiled — believing the world revolves around you.
Spoiled people often carry an air of entitlement. They think they deserve special treatment without putting in the effort.
This behavior is linked to narcissistic tendencies.
They expect the best seats, the biggest piece of cake, and for life to hand them lemons for their lemonade — without having to ask.
You’ve met them, haven’t you? Those types of people who strut into a room, exuding not confidence, but an air so thick with entitlement it chokes you.
This isn’t just about wanting more; it’s about a deep-seated belief that the world, in all its vastness, somehow owes them.
7) Gratitude? Is that a type of cake?
Gratitude is like the magic sauce in relationships — it makes everything better.
But for the spoiled ones among us, saying “thank you” is as rare as a blue moon. When someone can’t appreciate what they have or acknowledge acts of kindness, it’s a giant, flashing neon sign of spoilage.
When gratitude is missing, it sends a clear message: “Your efforts don’t matter to me.”
This attitude not only diminishes the value of kindness and generosity but also erodes the very fabric of relationships.
It creates an imbalance, a one-sided dynamic where one person is always giving, and the other is perpetually taking, never acknowledging or valuing the contribution of their counterpart.
Last thoughts
Have you ever seen these behaviors in action? It’s quite the spectacle, right? Recognizing these traits is the first step in addressing them, whether in others or ourselves.
In the end, I told my friend that her behavior bothered me. I don’t know if it was the right or wrong thing to do yet — I’m still waiting to see how the future pans out between us.
But I’m one of those people who are honest to a fault. If it’s on my mind — I’m tellin’ ya!
Plus, I feel like if our positions were reversed, I’d appreciate being called out for my behavior. Yes, it might sting in the moment, but feedback helps us grow.
I’d rather have a chance to change my behavior than have everyone silently judge me. I’m not saying calling people out is the right thing to do 100% of the time — the choice is yours.
Maybe you’ll just see the signs and run in the other direction.
After all, these are signs of deeper issues like a lack of empathy, emotional intelligence, and an understanding of the social fabric that binds us all.
