It takes a lifetime for one to become totally self-reliant.
But most of us are too hard on ourselves.
We idolize those people who seem like they’re “born independent ” that we don’t realize that we’re actually quite self-reliant already.
That’s why, in this article, I will talk about 12 behaviors that will reveal that you’ve been becoming more self reliant every day.
(And that you should be proud of yourself!)
1) You TRY to take full responsibility of yourself
Being able to carry your own weight is an important part of independence and self-reliance.
It might not seem like much, but you now cook your own food, buy your own shampoo, and pay your own bills (or at least half of it).
You don’t just wait around until people come by to pick up the slack and do your things for you.
Sure, you might not be the most responsible person on the block (yet) and you might still need help to get by from time to time… but you’ve at least started realizing that you are your own responsibility.
2) You don’t expect anything from anyone
It doesn’t matter if it’s money, emotional support, or them remembering your birthday. Hell, you don’t even care if there’s some kind of holiday going on.
You don’t go around expecting things from other people—and I don’t mean this in the rough and ragged “oh, they don’t care about me!” sense.
Rather, you just understand that people are busy and have their own lives to live.
So you aren’t bothered at all when people don’t show up to your party, forget to wish you happy birthday, or fail to bring you a gift. Life happens.
You weren’t always like this. Back then you would think that people aren’t good friends if they can’t be bothered to do these things for you.
But now, you’ve changed, and you find it quite liberating.
3) You don’t blame others when things go wrong with your life
You’re not going to blame your parents for not pushing you hard enough when you fail your exams, or your friends for getting you hammered and too busy partying to study.
No matter what the people around you might have done to influence you, ultimately you and you alone are responsible for your actions (and non-actions).
You could have always just declined the alcohol or pushed yourself to study without waiting for your parents to nag you. After all, you’re an adult!
The only exception being, of course, if they’re leaving you no option to say no, in which case it’s alright to pass the blame.
4) You try to solve your problems on your own
It used to be the case that your problems are everyone’s problems.
When your partner broke up with you, you used to rant about your heartbreak to your friends and have them prop you up until you finally heal.
But that’s no longer the case these days.
You know your friends and family will always be there for you, of course. But now, you’re well aware that they are dealing with problems of their own…and you don’t want to be a burden.
Besides, you’ve since learned that sometimes it’s best to keep most of your problems private—share the wrong thing with the wrong person and your drama might just blow up.
5) You now take charge of your own happiness
It doesn’t matter that you’re not the happiest person around, or that you’re not exactly the sunniest you’ve ever been.
You’ve come to accept that emotions just naturally ebb and flow.
There are times when you’re on top of the world, and there are times when you’d rather spend all day curled up in your bed.
And one of the reasons why you can rest easy is because you’ve taken charge over your own happiness.
Gone are the days where you NEEDED someone to cheer you up.
You still appreciate their presence in your life, of course. And in fact, you might even go the extra mile to share your happiness with them so that you’ll be the one painting smiles on their faces for a change.
6) You work harder ( but you’re also more fulfilled)
As important emotional and personal independence might be, they pale before the importance of financial independence.
We live in a world ruled by money, and it’s no secret that without financial independence personal liberty is not guaranteed.
And you—whether it’s through a corporate job, freelance, or even your own business—have taken steps to make sure you can maintain your financial independence.
It might be exhausting, and there might be times when you just want to lie down, but knowing that your hard work has bought you freedom makes you feel you’re doing the right thing.
7) You are now more honest of what you want
Back in the day, you used to second-guess yourself—a lot.
You ask yourself if you actually want something, if you deserve to have it, and if it even “suits” you in the first place.
Now you confidently walk forward and take what you want.
This kind of bravery comes hand in hand with self-reliance. You’re no longer dependent on others to keep your wallets filled and your self-confidence afloat.
So what if that slab of cheese you want is overpriced? Who cares if people think that hat looks too gaudy on you? Or so what if they think your dream job is out of your league?
If you were to fail the job interview, that’s on you. If you want to buy that hat or that slab of cheese, it’s your money.
You know what you want anyways, and you simply see no need to deny yourself just because other people might have an opinion.
8) You don’t feel the need to ask for permission from anyone
You used to wait for people to give you the thumbs up and go ahead signal every single time you want to do something.
It could be anything and everything—from the amount of salt you put on your salad to the kind of men you date to the career you want to pursue.
It used to be the case that you’d feel very uncomfortable making any decisions at all, big or small.
What if you made a mistake and end up disappointing the people around you?
But now? You just step up and get things done! It’s YOUR life, after all.
You reserve the whole “asking for permissions” thing for the times when it actually matters, like entering someone’s personal space.
9) You’re not scared to make mistakes
You’ve since accepted that failure and disappointment are an inescapable part of life—that they’re not things you should always remain scared of.
One of the biggest reasons why you’re no longer deathly terrified of mistakes is that once you’ve become more and more self-reliant, other people are less likely to be impacted by your mistakes.
You might be more willing to try out new business ventures because if you fail, you’ll have wasted YOUR own money and time rather than someone else’s.
And moreover, you know that you’re strong enough to face the consequences and resourceful enough to find a good solution.
Besides, failures can serve as important learning opportunities anyways.
10) You’re not scared of being alone
You used to feel uneasy every time you were alone at home, or when there was nobody around to eat your lunch with.
And spending holidays all by yourself? The horror!
But now you don’t really care about having people around you all the time.
That said, while you might find that you prefer quiet and solitude more than you thought you did, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve suddenly turned into a hermit.
Rather, you simply have managed to earn yourself social independence.
You’re free to simply be yourself, without your insecurities forcing you to crave more social engagement than you actually need.
11) You don’t care about what others think of you
That is to say, you might appreciate compliments and positive impressions, but you won’t let negative opinions drag you down.
If people think that you’re awesome, cool.
If people think that you’re an overrated, pretentious know-it all, well… that’s unfortunate but also cool—as in you don’t give a damn.
Ultimately people will think what they want, and you don’t rely on public opinion anymore to feel validated.
You’ve accepted that, so you’ve shifted your focus.
Rather than trying to be as well-liked, you instead focus on self-growth and being the best version of yourself.
12) You now believe that no one else can save you but yourself
This thought used to scare you.
You used to feel that there’s loneliness and hopelessness in that sentiment. Perhaps you even thought it meant that other people simply can’t help us at all.
But you’ve since come to see it in a different light.
That is, other people can help make things easier for you, guide you, and be there for you when you’re down and out… but all of that means nothing if you don’t step up and try to fix yourself.
And this, at its core, is what self-reliance is all about. Accepting aid when it’s offered, but standing stall even without anyone to help you up.
If you find that you resonate with most of the stuff in this article—congrats!
You’re more independent than you give yourself credit for.
Remember, true self-reliance is hard to get and you don’t have to wait to become 100% self-reliant before you give yourself a pat on the back.