12 behaviors that reveal a man’s true level of maturity

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When things are going well, any man can act calm, kind, and mature.

This is the reason why it’s hard to figure out whether a man is truly mature when everything’s alright.

A man’s true level of maturity is revealed clearly only in times of crisis and stress.

How does he respond to failure? To provocation? To problems that are so big that it could turn his life upside down?

Want to know which behaviors reveal a man’s true level of maturity?

Read up!

1) Ability to “suck it up” when things get tough

One way you can tell that a man is legitimately mature is that when times get rough, he knows how to simply suck it up and forge ahead.

That’s not to say he’ll turn into a cold and emotionless man of steel, of course.

He’s still human and there will still be times when he’d freak out, break down, and even cry. But despite all of that, he does not give up.

An immature man, on the other hand, would raise a white flag and go “That’s it, I’m done. This is too much for me!”

Simply put: a mature man endures, an immature man doesn’t.

2) Handling problems calmly and proactively

An immature man would freak out the moment he’s faced with problems that aren’t exactly easy to deal with.

He might scream “I hate my life” and punch holes in mirrors until his fists hurt.

A mature man, on the other hand, knows better than to let his emotions get the best of him…especially in times of crisis.

He would still be upset, of course. However, he’s not just going to lash out, find someone to blame for his troubles, and do or say something that he’ll eventually regret.

Instead, he’ll do his best to calm down, focus on the problem, and try to find solutions.

3) Ability to say “I need help”

Men are fed a tragic amount of conditioning since birth that they must be “strong”, “dominant”, and “independent” if they are to be REAL men and win the approval of… well, other men.

This is the reason why almost all immature men have convinced themselves that asking for help is a sign of weakness.

But a mature man would have recognized this conditioning and is either trying to break free of it, or has already done so.

To him, asking for help is simply just that—recognizing that he can’t do everything all by himself and that he’s much better off asking for help.

It helps that he’s self-assured enough to know that although he has weaknesses, he also has a lot of strengths.

4) Saying “no” even if it’s so tempting to say “yes”

A truly mature man is loaded with both self-control and integrity.

If he’s married, he won’t even eat lunch with a girl who’s obviously attracted to him—not even if his relationship is already rocky.

And he’ll say no to bribes even if he’s broke and desperately in need of money. As tempting as it may be, he’d rather hold fast to his values.

He doesn’t care even if there’s nobody watching. If he’s not going to do it in public, he won’t do it in private.

5) Remaining respectful during heated arguments

It’s honestly surprising how fragile men can be.

Disagree with them enough and get into an argument with them, and most of them will show just how immature they are.

Many of them would start yelling “What are you trying to prove?” or “You think I’m dumb?!” in order to intimidate others.

A mature man, on the other hand, will keep his cool even as the argument heats up. He’s not going to talk over his conversation partners or try acting like he’s somehow high and mighty.

Instead, he’ll try to listen and understand. And if he finds that the argument is going nowhere, he will simply disengage.

6) Accountability

Everyone makes mistakes.

What separates a mature man from one who isn’t quite there yet is how he handles his mistakes.

An immature man is naturally more concerned about how admitting fault will make them look “weak” and “stupid” and “incompetent”.

On the other hand, the mature man has no issues admitting fault and taking full responsibility for his actions. He’s more concerned on how he can make things better.

It takes true maturity to admit that one might ever be wrong, and true strength to own up to one’s shortcomings.

7) Good communication skills

When it comes to discussing difficult topics like money problems or infidelity, an immature man would close himself off.

He simply doesn’t have the capacity to have a constructive conversation whether at work or at home.

And during conversations, if people simply don’t agree with him on something, he’d find a way to shut the conversation down because he can’t stand people who think differently than him.

In contrast, a mature man knows how to handle conversations well.

He tries to listen and understand because he knows good communication is vital to maintaining good relations and creating solutions.

8) Welcoming constructive feedback

Feedback is another thing that can easily separate mature men from immature men.

An immature man will immediately assume that feedback— no matter how important and kindly given— is meant to crush him.

He gets so hurt and offended because he thinks people giving him that feedback simply want to see him fail.

In contrast to that, a mature man would be more than happy to receive feedback. And that is because he understands that feedback—even if it may sting sometimes—is important for self-improvement.

He’d rather take a blow to his ego now if it means he can be a better person in the future.

9) Being honest no matter the consequences

The truth isn’t always easy to say.

As the writer Nick Hornby once said “The truth will set you free. Either that or it’ll get you a punch in the nose. ”

Sometimes, saying the truth can put months of work at risk. And sometimes, it can easily send our relationships crumbling.

There’s a reason why so many people bury themselves in white lies. Never mind that lies will eventually catch up with them—what matters is that they get to spare themselves the worst of it in the present.

But the mature man knows it’s the golden rule to speak the truth.

As far as he’s concerned, if he shrouds himself in lies, then things will be even worse when all those lies finally catch up to him.

10) Willingness to make sacrifices

Selfishness is one of the key traits of an immature man. You can say that someone has a lot to grow as a person if he simply can’t make personal sacrifices for the sake of others.

It doesn’t even have to be a big personal sacrifice—it can be as simple as him surrendering his seat to an old woman or a child.

The mature man, on the other hand, is more than willing to make personal sacrifices for the sake of others.

He has no trouble putting his own pleasures aside if it means that the people around him are happy.

11) Ability to let go of control

Immature men often have this need to be in control.

They freak out when they find that others are just doing things without their supervision or approval. And anyone standing up to their authority is seen as an “enemy”.

But a mature man, no matter how bossy he might seem, is significantly more flexible and open-minded. He has no issues surrendering control to someone else, either.

He couldn’t care less about whether it’s his plans that end up being realized or someone else’s—what matters to him is that the plan works.

And when setbacks and delays happen, he won’t throw a fit. He’ll let things be.

He knows that the only thing he can control is himself…and everything else is out of his hands. So he lets things be.

12) Remaining calm when provoked

Many men get dangerously violent and angry the moment they feel “emasculated”, or when they feel like their “manliness” is under threat.

Immature men are especially eager to prove their manliness and will jump on people at the smallest provocation.

A mature man, on the other hand, has learned not to let these feelings sway him that badly.

If someone pokes fun at his sense of fashion, he’ll laugh right back. His sense of fashion doesn’t define him, and it’s just their opinion anyway.

If someone comes at him threatening to smash the living daylights out of him, he’ll step back and avoid engaging unless he absolutely has to. Or he’ll simply call the police.

Final thoughts

Immature men can be incredibly dangerous. No matter how charming and cute they might seem, they bring stress and frustration.

And yes, that applies even if you have no intention of being anything more than just friends.

Mature men, on the other hand, are the best friends and partners out there. They make you feel at ease, they have integrity, and they’ll solve problems with you.

These are the reasons why it’s quite important to know how mature a man truly is before you commit to making him a part of your life—whether as a friend or something more.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Hack Spirit! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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