12 behaviors that instantly make you seem confident and assertive

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In my quest to look more confident on camera, I started researching what behaviors instantly make you seem confident and assertive.

The answer was clear: you have to speak clearly, command the room, take up space, and much more. 

So join me as we learn together how to immediately, not just seem confident, but also feel like it. 

Even in high-pressure situations. 

1) Relax

There’s nothing that conveys confidence more than an open and relaxed body posture. That’s why you need to avoid crossing your arms or hunching over, as others will think you’re insecure. 

Simply imagine you’re having a relaxed chat with a friend. When you stand or sit with an open posture, it’s kind of like saying, “I’m here, I’m comfortable, and I’m ready to connect.

Remaining calm in stressful situations is also key and showcases your confidence and emotional maturity. 

Your relaxed demeanor is saying, “I can handle the craziness, no problem,” and that can be a real asset in everyday life, from dealing with family drama to tackling work challenges.

2) Maintain eye contact

When you maintain eye contact, it’s a sign of confidence because it demonstrates that you’re not afraid to connect with others through direct gaze. 

You’re also confirming that you’re really tuned in and paying attention. It’s a bit like declaring, “Hey, I’m here with you in this conversation.” 

You directly show how confident you are in your own skin because you’re not afraid to look someone in the eye. 

But, you know, don’t make it weird by staring intensely. Just find a natural balance that feels comfortable for both of you.

Being relaxed and keeping eye contact is important for talking to someone in person, but also when you’re talking directly to a camera. 

3) Use the power of silence

I’ve only recently discovered how powerful moments of silence in conversations can be. 

You see, confident people are comfortable with pauses. They use them to gather their thoughts, signal importance, or encourage others to speak. 

But above all, silence can also create a sense of anticipation and control.

Don’t be afraid of a little quiet during conversations. Confident folks are cool with those moments when no one’s talking.

4) Speak clearly

Speaking clearly is a big confidence booster. When you talk with a strong, clear voice and avoid mumbling, it tells people you’re confident about your words and that you really want them to get what you’re saying. 

Plus, it helps steer clear of those annoying misunderstandings and mix-ups, making conversations smoother and more effective. 

So, don’t be afraid to speak up and be crystal clear in your communication. It’s a simple but powerful way to show confidence.

5) Ask questions

Another thing confident people have no qualms about is asking questions and seeking clarifications. 

You’re telling them you’re curious and not afraid to learn. Think of it as the person in a meeting who’s not shy to raise their hand and ask a question that others might be thinking but are too hesitant to ask. 

I can’t tell you how many times I bit my tongue and let a colleague swoop in and ask the same question and get praised for doing so. 

Ultimately, this confidence in pursuing information helps you steer conversations in a way that helps you reach your goals, like getting the right insights or finding solutions to challenges. 

It’s a bit like using a GPS to get to your destination while others are still using maps.

Plus, asking your audience questions helps you engage with them instead of simply conveying information in an endless stream. 

6) Use hand gestures

Using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying can really boost your communication. It’s like adding a little spice to your words, making them pop and come to life. 

It shows that you’re genuinely into the conversation and confident in your message.

Just like adding too much spice to your food can ruin the dish, overdoing hand gestures can distract from what you’re saying. 

So, it’s kind of like finding that perfect balance between adding flavor and not going overboard when you’re cooking up a conversation.

7) Take up space

Think of your personal space as your “confidence zone.” you need to find your own comfy spot in a conversation, meeting, speech, presentation, etc. 

Let me ask you something: When you stand or sit, do you do it like you mean it? 

Don’t look all fidgety or like you’re ready to bail out. You must tell the world, “I’m here, and I feel like a million bucks!” 

That’s how you show you’ve got some self-assured mojo going on.

Your personal space is your canvas, and you get to decide how to paint it. So, find that balance that feels right for you and rock your self-assuredness in any social situation.

8) Slow down your speech

My biggest mistake is that I rush my speech sometimes. I then become self-aware of it and have to work on slowing down and getting out of my head. 

Speaking at a measured pace instead of rushing through your words suggests you’re confident and in control of the conversation. 

This not only helps you get your ideas across more effectively, but it also makes you sound more convincing and like you know what you’re talking about. 

So, don’t rush. Take it easy and let your words have the impact they deserve.

9) Confident handshake

Everyone knows that to seem more confident and assertive, you need to have a firm handshake.

For instance, you know that feeling when you shake someone’s hand, and it’s just the perfect amount of firmness? 

That’s what you’re aiming for. It’s like a Goldilocks handshake – not too weak and limp, which can make you come across as unsure or uninterested. 

On the other hand, it shouldn’t be a bone-crusher that leaves the other person wincing. 

So, the next time you shake hands, strike that balance, and you’ll make a great (and confident) impression.

But a confident handshake is nothing without this:

10) Dress the part

Choosing the right clothes can really boost your self-confidence. When you put on an outfit that makes you feel good and comfortable, it can do wonders for your self-assuredness in all kinds of situations. 

The key is to wear clothes that match your style and are suitable for the occasion. When you look in the mirror and think, “I’ve got this,” you set a positive tone for your day.

11) Own your mistakes

In everyday life, if you forget an important appointment, admit it and then take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. 

That’s confidence in action – being real, accepting your imperfections, and using them to become a better version of yourself.

For example, imagine you’re in a meeting, and you realize you made an error. Owning your mistake is like saying, “Hey, I goofed up on that one, my bad.” 

You’re being open and honest when you slip up.

Now, think of it this way: nobody is perfect, right? We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. 

Confidence isn’t about never making mistakes; it’s about how you handle them. When you admit your errors, you’re basically communicating that you’re cool with not being perfect. You’re a work in progress.

Let that sink in.

12) Use mirroring

If you never thought about mirroring or mimicking the body language of the person you’re speaking to, you’ve been missing out. 

Mirroring is like tuning into the same frequency as the person you’re talking to. When you subtly copy their body language, you make them feel at ease. 

It’s a sign of social confidence because it reveals your adaptability and your ability to connect with others.

Final thoughts

These behaviors, when used in the right context, can help you not only project confidence and assertiveness but also build better relationships and achieve your personal and professional goals.

Depending on the situation, some of these behaviors might work better than others. So, don’t be afraid to mix and match, and use what feels right for you.

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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