Denisa Cerna
I used to hate living in my head. Every corner of my mind promised yet another thought ridden with anxiety, yet another worry, yet another complaint.
Most days, there was at least one thing that got on my nerves, be it a late mail delivery, a disagreement with a friend, or the fact that my hair took too long to dry after a shower.
At the end of the day, it really didn’t matter what I was complaining about as long as there was *something*.
But then – here comes a twist in the story – I decided to actively let go of negativity. I started reading helpful books, learned about neuroscience, grew in confidence, and began reprogramming my beliefs about who I was.
It’s been a long while since I let something as silly as wet hair get a rise out of me.
What’s more, though, breaking negative patterns means you are making space for much more beauty in your life.
These are the 7 beautiful things that happen when you distance yourself from negativity.
1) You find peace of mind
All those messy thoughts piling on top of each other on a daily basis?
Most of them go away. I know because that’s exactly what happened to me.
Don’t get me wrong, you won’t always be able to keep your cool. Sometimes, you’ll get annoyed at small inconveniences. Arguments with loved ones will still hurt.
But your baseline mindset will change.
For example, I usually wake up in a good mood these days. As I go on about my day, my mood doesn’t rise and fall based on external circumstances beyond my control – instead, it stays stable.
If it rains, I don’t get upset. If the mail is late, I just sigh and move on. If my friend’s grumpy, I don’t let it get to me.
This is because I’ve managed to build such a stable foundation of inner peace that I am better able to control how I soak in the negativity from the world around me.
Buddha compared this to a situation where someone’s giving you a gift (the gift being a negative emotion targeted in your direction). He said, “If you buy a gift for someone and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
People might try to transfer their negative feelings onto you, but if you don’t accept that energy, it’ll stay attached to them. And your own peace of mind won’t be disturbed.
2) You complain less
As you may have already guessed, I used to be a huge fan of complaining.
I always felt the need to share every single inconvenience with my best friend, and this soon turned into a habit where both of us texted each other about the most minuscule issues.
Over time, I realized that the more I talked about what annoyed me, the more importance I assigned it in my head. I was making a mountain out of a molehill and draining my energy in the process.
In the last few years, I’ve slowly stopped complaining so much. And while some people would think that the lack of complaining might suppress that negative energy inside you, making it worse, it actually helped eradicate it.
I simply stopped giving it energy, and so it stopped growing. As a result, I see far less negativity around me and focus on the good things in life.
3) You see beauty everywhere around you
Speaking of the good things in life, distancing yourself from negativity means you are automatically opening yourself up to more positivity.
Before you know it, you’re sitting in front of your window, looking out at the sky and feeling so peacefully joyful that you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
They say beauty is in the little things, and guess what? It’s true.
The less you let the bad stuff get to you, the more energy you have to practice mindfulness, look for magic in your immediate surroundings, and feel grateful for all that you have.
4) You open yourself up to true forgiveness
Do you know that saying, “Forgive but don’t forget”?
I’ve always sensed a slight undertone of bitterness to it, as if the message underneath stated, “I’ll put it behind me, but I’ll never ever forget what you did to me! Ever!”
Unfortunately, that’s the complete opposite of what true forgiveness is.
When you forgive someone, you don’t only move on. No. Instead, you approach the issue with empathy and understanding so deep that you no longer feel any resentment.
Slowly but surely, you realize that the person who hurt you simply didn’t know any better, and while that does not excuse their behavior, it helps you find your higher self and leave the pain in the past.
Personally, I wasn’t able to reach this level of liberation until I became less of a negative person overall. The year I decided to work on my anger, pain, and bitterness was the year I could authentically forgive – and it was such a relief I felt a thousand tons lighter.
5) You learn to accept your negative emotions with kindness
Right now, you might be thinking to yourself, “This random online writer keeps talking about letting go of negativity, but how can you ever get rid of anger? Grief? Frustration?”
You can’t. That’s the point. Distancing yourself from negativity isn’t about banishing it and suppressing it – that only makes it worse.
It’s about realizing that there is you, and then there is the emotion. Your emotion is not who you are. It’s a mental and physical state that passes. Just like clouds that roll through the sky, your negative emotion comes, rains upon you, and then slowly dissipates.
Your job isn’t to ignore the rain, or even hide under an umbrella. It’s to stand in the downpour with open arms.
You’re angry. Great! Time to go for a jog and play angry songs to validate the emotion and let it run its course.
You’re sad. That’s okay! Cry it out, and you’ll feel at least a little bit lighter afterward.
When you welcome and accept negative feelings with compassion, they pass by quicker. Plus, I can’t even describe how healing it is to give yourself the validation you’ve always so desperately wanted from others.
6) You grow in resilience
Contrary to popular belief, resilient people aren’t strong because they never let their negative feelings get to them. They’re strong because they know those feelings are a necessary part of being human and because they aren’t afraid to accept them.
The moment I decided to acknowledge my pain, learn self-soothing strategies, and become the adult my inner child always wanted was the moment my resilience skyrocketed.
Just five years ago, I would completely crumble every time something bad happened. My panic, anxiety, and fear took over, and I got lost in the maze.
But now?
Now I persevere because I know I can. I believe I can take care of myself no matter what; I believe the universe conspires in my favor; I believe things will turn out well in the end.
Because they always do.
7) You begin to attract positive energy
You attract what you give out. If you’re always worried and anxious, chances are, your mind will always look for things to be worried and anxious about.
But if you believe the world is brimming with opportunities, not obstacles, if you believe you are strong, not weak, if you believe you’re not doomed just because something didn’t work out…
That’s what will serve as your guideline through life, exponentially increasing your chances of success.
As you slowly distance yourself from negativity, you’ll notice that you’ve let go of things and people that no longer serve you and that pulled you in unhelpful directions.
You’ll also notice that new and exciting opportunities are popping up all over the place, be it a new job offer, a hobby you’ve picked up again, or a new friendship group.
You know what they say: “Birds of a feather flock together.”
If you want to lead an amazing life full of amazing people…you first have to believe you are an amazing person who is worthy of all the amazing things that are to come.
So let go of negativity, complain less, and watch yourself transform.
