“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
You’ve probably heard the above quote from Oscar Wilde. He makes it sound so easy to just be yourself.
But the truth is, authenticity is difficult to develop. Society is constantly teaching you to fit inside a box and be a conformist, but our true selves can’t be stereotyped.
The problem is, if you’re not being true to yourself, it’s difficult to get the best out of yourself and make the most of life.
If we want to be happy and fulfilled, we need to learn who we truly are so we can start living authentically and meaningfully.
According to Oprah Winfrey, embracing your true self might make you more successful as well:
“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” – Oprah Winfrey
Authentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want in life.
Here are 10 rules authentic people live by to elevate their life.
1. Embracing your feelings will benefit you more than ignoring them
Authentic people understand that ignoring true feelings is a recipe for disaster in the long term.
When you bottle up negative emotions, not only is it a huge burden to carry, but they come back to bite you eventually.
An authentic person realizes that the bravest thing you can do is to be unafraid to feel.
They don’t hide their emotions. They express their feelings honestly and openly without fear.
They realize that their emotions are their internal compass telling them whether they are on the right track.
Embracing who you are and all of your feelings allows you to understand yourself and to let other people understand you.
If you don’t know yourself, then how can you stand for anything?
2. You can’t please everyone
Authentic people show kindness and compassion to everybody.
But they also know that if they try to please everyone, then they’ll never be happy.
An authentic person understands that it’s impossible to please everyone and you shouldn’t even try.
Instead, they focus on living up to their own moral standards.
As long as they never deviate from their own standards, then they’ll never be disappointed in their own actions.
3. It’s useless to compare yourself to others
Everybody is unique, and we all have different circumstances in our lives.
For this reason, an authentic person understands that it’s useless to compare yourself to others.
After all, what works for others might not work for you.
And that’s perfectly fine.
Instead of slumping to social comparisons, authentic people compare themselves with their past selves to see if they’re improving.
An authentic person remains true to their own dreams and aspirations in life.
Nothing really matters as long as they’re moving forward in their own journey.
4. Seeking validation from other people is a sign of weakness
As soon as you start living your life for other people, you stop being true to yourself.
They don’t need other people to tell them how special they are.
They realize that if you rely on compliments from others to boost your self-confidence, then your self-confidence is fragile and superficial.
An authentic person is unapologetically true to themselves. This means that they embrace all of their imperfections and undesirable traits.
When you fully accept yourself, you walk with your head held high and you’re comfortable in your own skin.
What people think about you is just noise. What really matters is what you think about yourself.
You don’t live for other people because you’d rather live for yourself.
5. Telling the truth is worth it, even when it hurts
Unfortunately, most of us aren’t raised to be truth-tellers.
Instead, most of us try to people-please.
But authentic people understand that it’s impossible for everyone to like them.
There’s no reward in being a people-pleaser, and you often have to do things that go against your true nature if you are to make everyone happy.
This is why authentic people have learned to put honesty first in any relationship.
No matter what situation it is, they’ve learned that telling the truth is always the best approach.
They believe that telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.
Even if there is a price to pay for speaking the truth. There is a bigger price for living a lie.
An authentic person is honest with themselves and others. It is one of their number-one priorities.
6. Mistakes and failures equal progress
So many of us are so scared of failure that we never take action in the first place.
Authentic people learn from their mistakes, and they are open to challenging their views on who they are.
This is because an authentic is not ashamed of accepting their flaws.
If they’re not ashamed of who they are, why hide?
They just use mistakes as an opportunity to grow.
And the bottom line is this:
Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.
If you think that you’re perfect, then you’re denying a part of your true nature.
An authentic person understands that learning from your mistakes makes you a better person.
7. It’s dangerous to rely on others for happiness
Authentic people are emotionally independent.
They know that no matter the circumstance, they have the tools to deal with it and embrace it for what it is.
They have the capacity to regulate their emotions and still feel good about themselves (even under challenging situations).
They know that if you rely on other people for happiness, then you aren’t in control of your life and your own destiny.
As Buddha said:
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
They build their sense of self without relying on others to make them happy or telling them how they should be or what they should be doing.
When you live life staying true to yourself and focusing on what’s important to you, happiness comes inside you every single day.
8. Don’t take yourself too seriously
We all need to have a laugh with everyone once in a while.
An authentic person accepts themselves for who they are.
They don’t have to hide any insecurities or talk themselves up in any way.
This is why they’re humble and they’re able to laugh at themselves.
It’s better to live life with a smile than be serious about everything all the time.
9. Experiences make you happier than possessions
While an authentic person understands that it’s important to earn enough money to make sure you live in comfort and you can buy your food to eat, there’s no point in being obsessed with material possessions beyond basic living.
They know that you live a happier life when you live in the moment and embrace all of the experiences of life.
After all, material gain, promotions, and career advancement are all superficial, and an authentic person doesn’t want to rely on outside influences to make them happy.
You want to be in control of your happiness, and they know that they’re always in control of embracing their experiences and living in the moment.
10. Kindness makes the world go round
In the end, we’re all human. Everybody goes through struggles and challenges.
An authentic person understands that. They don’t judge others. They don’t talk about people behind their backs.
Instead, they give respect to everybody because we’ve all got hardships that we’re trying to overcome.
When you’re comfortable with who you are, there’s no need to judge other people to make yourself feel better.
You find it much more satisfying to be curious. You know there’s much more to a person than how they look or even how they talk.
We all go through shit in our lives, and you know that nothing is ever black and white.
An authentic person prefers to focus on the good in other people and live their lives free of toxic energy.
Lost Your Sense of Purpose?
In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.
Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.
Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.
With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.
Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.
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