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15 things no one tells you about being alone at 40

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Maybe you’re single at 40+ – or you’re already on your way there. While some consider this sad, it’s not actually the case.

Below, you’ll find 15 pretty enlightening things no one tells you about being alone at 40.

1) You’re not really alone

You being single at 40+ is not an isolated thing. In fact, many remain single in this age bracket.

According to a Psychology Today report, “4.3 percent of women get to their late forties without ever marrying.”

The Pew Research Center also estimates that “by the time today’s young adults in the U.S. reach the age of 50, about 25 per cent of them will have been single their whole lives.”

So you see, you’re not really alone.

So if you don’t have a spouse, know that you’re not the only unlucky (some may say lucky) one suffering the same fate.

Always remember: you still have family and friends all around you.

2) For you have the power to be resilient

Being single at 40 can sometimes feel like you’re stuck in a rut. And, to overcome it, you will need more than just plain willpower.

I learned about this from Life Journal, created by the highly-successful life coach and teacher Jeanette Brown.

You see, willpower only takes us so far…the key to transforming your life into something you’re passionate and enthusiastic about takes perseverance, a shift in mindset, and effective goal setting.

And while this might sound like a mighty task to undertake, thanks to Jeanette’s guidance, it’s been easier to do than I could have ever imagined.

Click here to learn more about Life Journal.

Now, you may wonder what makes Jeanette’s course different from all the other personal development programs out there.

It all comes down to one thing:

Jeanette isn’t interested in being your life coach.

Instead, she wants YOU to take the reins in creating the life you’ve always dreamt of having.

So if you’re ready to stop dreaming and start living your best life, a life created on your terms, one which fulfills and satisfies you, don’t hesitate to check out Life Journal.

Here’s the link once again.

3) Your happiness doesn’t ALWAYS have to depend on someone else

Being married or having kids doesn’t necessarily equate to being happy. As Paul Brian puts it, a genuinely happy person – no matter where they are in life – doesn’t depend on others for happiness (even love.)

Instead, this person:

  • Does what’s best (that includes opting to be single, in some cases)
  • Feels a sense of acceptance and belongingness, no matter the circumstance
  • Doesn’t let others influence their self-worth
  • Leaves the past to the past

4) No kids? No problem!

“When it comes to the desire to have kids, it’s something that we’re programmed with from a very young age. It feels like it’s what society wants of us,” explained HackSpirit co-founder Justin Brown in his video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuVTWv8ckvU

Yes, having kids can be fulfilling, but as Justin puts it, “Does the desire to have kids really come from within?”

What he’s trying to say here is you shouldn’t necessarily have children just because society dictates it. Instead, he believes that the better thing to focus on is how you want to live your life.

Trust me, people in your age bracket who have kids envy your freedom right now.

5) You can always go out with as many people as you want!

One of the best things about being single – at 40 – is the freedom you have when it comes to dating.

You can date someone young, or someone older even. After all, the acceptable age for dating is “half your age plus seven years.”

And, unlike better, there are many other options to find your potential date. If you want, you can try these easy ways to meet someone without using online dating.

The point here is even if you’re busy with work, among many other things, you can still go out and find love.

This brings me to my next point…

6) It’s not too late to fall in love

Can’t find love? Even though you’re 40-ish, it’s not too late!

Just take the case of the dashing bachelor George Clooney, who once thought he’d never get married again.

That was until he laid eyes on the beautiful lawyer Amal Alamuddin, whom he met at age 52 (and married at age 53.)

There’s also Cameron Diaz, who got married to hubby Benji Madden at age 41.

What I’m trying to say here is that even though you haven’t got celebrity-like looks, you can still marry at age 40 (or above.)

Don’t fret. Just trust the process.  Love will come to you when you least expect it.

7) You actually have better sex

Do you remember the first time when you had sex? How about the awkward encounters you’ve had when you were younger?

Well, now that you’re single and 40, you don’t have to worry about such experiences. That’s because you’re a sex pro now with all that years of ‘practice.’

In the above-mentioned BetterLife article, relationship coach Shula Melamed explained that:

“As we get older, we have an opportunity to get familiar with our body and its responses to pleasure. You are less likely to stumble through unsatisfying sexual encounters without speaking up or having insight on how to make it better.”

8) It’s not too late to work on your spirituality

Being 40 years old doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve run out of time to build your spirituality.

The thing with spirituality is that it’s just like everything else in life: it can always be manipulated.

Unfortunately, not all the gurus and experts that preach spirituality do so with our best interests at heart. Instead, some take advantage to twist spirituality into something toxic – poisonous even.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandé. With over 30 years of experience in the field, he’s seen and experienced it all.

From exhausting positivity to downright harmful spiritual practices, this free video he created tackles a range of toxic spirituality habits.

So what makes Rudá different from the rest? How do you know he’s not also one of the manipulators he warns against?

The answer is simple:

He promotes spiritual empowerment from within.

Click here to watch the free video and bust the spiritual myths you’ve bought for the truth.

Rather than tell you how you should practice spirituality, Rudá focuses solely on you. Essentially, he puts you back in the driver’s seat of your spiritual journey.

9) You’ll have more money…

Getting married – and having kids – is expensive.

First, there’s the big wedding, which, more often than not, is funded by borrowed money.

And kids?

According to a MoneyCrashers report:

  • A family with a child born in 2015 can expect to spend more than $233,000 raising that child to adulthood. The cost is undoubtedly higher now in 2022.
  • Over half of all families spent over $10,000 on child care in 2020.
  • Nearly 30% of the money spent on a first child goes toward increased housing costs. Part of the reason for this is that a bigger family simply needs more space.

And, not to be a pessimist here, but there’s also the possibility of getting divorced. So far, this is the most significant financial risk faced by married couples.

“Even 10 years after a divorce, their (divorced person) median wealth is still below $10,000 — less than the $11,000 average for people who stayed single,” explains the above report.

10) But you’ll pay more in taxes and healthcare costs

When you’re single and 40ish, you could be the rich aunt/uncle who’s always jet-setting to some exotic destination.

But there’s a price you have to pay for this—a huge one.

According to The Atlantic, a single woman earning $80,000 per year will pay $645,000 in income taxes throughout a hypothetical 40 years (maybe more.) Married women who make the same money, on the other hand, will only pay about $495,000.

As for healthcare costs, a single woman with an income of $40,000 will spend $189,600 on health over 60 years, while a married woman with the same income will only spend $165,600. That’s a difference of $24,000.

So yes, you’ll earn more – but you’ll have to pay more.

11) You’ll get more sleep

I’m sure parents around you have told you that they lack sleep. And sadly, it doesn’t get better even when their babies grow up.

According to a McGill University report, “A study of 2541 women and 2118 men in Germany showed sleep satisfaction and duration sharply declined with childbirth and did not recover in either group for up to six years after birth.”

The good news is that you don’t have to suffer from sleep deprivation (unless you choose to.) If any, you’ll get more sleep as a single person.

Quoting an Amerisleep study, Health Digest has reported that “Those who identified as single turned out to get more hours of sleep per night than those who indicated alternate relationship statuses (such as married, engaged, in a relationship, or divorced). Research showed that single people maintained the longest average nightly sleep time of 7.13 hours.”

So yes, you’re bound to get more sleep – again, unless you opt to lose sleep every night.

12) You’ll most likely stay in shape

Your metabolism indeed slows down as you age. But if you’re single at 40, you won’t necessarily blow up.

On the contrary, you’re highly likely to stay in shape.

According to a report:

“Paired-up people had higher BMIs than their single counterparts, with a difference equivalent to about 4.5 pounds.”

A high body mass index has been linked to health issues like type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

One possible reason for this is that you’re more determined to stay in shape. Explains counselor Nicole Carl:

“When you’re single, you have more free time to put into your hobbies and self-care activities. Eating healthier, working out, and taking fitness classes could be done because your schedule isn’t so cramped.”

13) It’s easier to get into places

If you’re with a spouse – or kids – it’ll be harder to get into places. Unless you make reservations or book a slot early, you won’t be able to get into, say, the restaurant you’ve always wanted to try.

But if you’re single – and 40 – getting into places is so much easier.

As you’re the only one, it’s much easier to get a seat. And, since there’s a big possibility that you’ve already made a name yourself in your career, you may even have the pull to get into ultra-exclusive places.

14) You’ll spend less time working

Work is important, but it can be draining – physically, emotionally, and even financially now that gas prices have gone way up!

But if you’re 40 and single, you don’t necessarily have to work your butt off. In fact, the same BetterLife report above determined that “ Men between the ages of 44 and 46 worked 403 fewer hours per year when they weren’t in relationships.”

As to why, it’s believed that married men – especially those with kids – need to work more to provide for their growing families.

15) Meal prep can be quite challenging

Meal prepping can be quite a chore when you’re single. Unless you’re willing to cook small portions daily, you’ll be stuck with the same entree for an entire week.

Furthermore, the produce you buy in the grocery is often in big portions (especially if you shop in a wholesale club.) So unless you can eat the entire bunch in a week, there’s a big chance that food spoilage is rife in your house.

Bottomline

If you’re single and 40 (or approaching the decade, for that matter), there’s no need to panic. Remember: being single is better than being with the wrong person. I’ve touched upon divorce earlier and how financially draining it is.

See, you have so much ahead of you. Money, travels, sleep, you know it.

And now that you know these 15 things, you can expect your life to be much richer.

Believe it when I say that life indeed begins at 40!

Putting yourself first

Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.

What’s your number one goal at the moment?

Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?

To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?

Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?

Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.

And even then…plans fail.

But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…

No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.

I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.

Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.

She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.

Click here to find out more about Life Journal.

So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.

How much do you want it?

Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?

If so, check out the workshop here.

If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!

All the best,
Lachlan

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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