If you’re doing these 8 things, you’re mentally tougher than 90% of people

I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of mental toughness—not the kind of grit that gets plastered across motivational posters, but the quiet strength you see in people who face life head-on.

It’s not flashy, and it’s definitely not about being perfect.

Mental toughness shows up in the way you handle setbacks, adapt to change, or just keep going when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

And while I’m no expert, I’ve noticed there are patterns, little habits and attitudes, that set mentally strong people apart.

If you’re already doing these eight things, then congratulations—you’re tougher than most. Let’s break it down and see where you stand.

1) Embrace discomfort

Let’s face it, comfort zones are… well, comfortable. But mentally tough people know that growth happens in the discomfort zone.

Think about it. It’s those challenging situations that really push us to learn, adapt and become stronger. And that’s exactly where mentally tough people thrive.

They don’t shy away from difficult tasks or tough conversations.

Instead, they willingly step into these situations, understanding that discomfort is a necessary part of personal growth.

So, if you find yourself regularly stepping outside of your comfort zone, congratulations! You’re already showcasing one of the key traits of mental toughness.

2) Bounce back from failure

Nobody likes failing. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But let me tell you a little story about my own experience with failure.

A few years ago, I was leading a project that was, in all honesty, a disaster.

Despite our best efforts, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I felt demoralized, defeated, and ready to throw in the towel.

But then I realized something important. Failure wasn’t the end of the world. It was a learning opportunity.

Instead of letting the failure defeat me, I analyzed what went wrong, learned from it, and bounced back even stronger.

That’s what mentally tough people do. They don’t let failure define them; they let it refine them.

If you’re someone who can take failure in stride and use it as fuel to improve, you’re demonstrating mental toughness in one of its most crucial forms.

3) Avoid negative self-talk

Did you know that the conversations we have with ourselves can drastically impact our mental toughness? It’s true.

The language we use in our own minds can either empower or discourage us.

Mentally tough people are aware of this. They avoid negative self-talk and instead, choose words that promote self-confidence and resilience.

They don’t tell themselves, “I can’t do this.” Instead, they say, “This is challenging, but I’m capable.”

In fact, research shows that positive self-talk can improve our overall performance and reduce stress.

So, if you’re regularly practicing positive self-talk, you’re not just boosting your mood, you’re strengthening your mental toughness.

4) Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness might be a buzzword in today’s world, but it’s more than just a trend. It’s a powerful tool for building mental toughness.

Mentally tough people understand the importance of being present in the moment. They don’t let past failures or future anxieties dominate their mind. Instead, they focus on the here and now.

By practicing mindfulness, they’re able to maintain a clear head, make thoughtful decisions, and remain calm under pressure.

So if you’re someone who regularly practices mindfulness, whether it’s through meditation, yoga, or simply taking a few moments to breathe and center yourself each day, you’re already building your mental resilience.

5) Show compassion

Mental toughness isn’t just limited to being resilient and focused. It’s also about the strength of your heart.

People often equate mental toughness with a kind of stoic hardness.

But in reality, showing compassion, both to yourself and to others, is a sign of great mental strength. It takes courage to empathize with others, to extend kindness when it’s easier to turn a blind eye.

Being tough doesn’t mean you can’t be kind. In fact, compassion is one of the strongest forms of strength there is.

6) Embrace change

Change can be scary. I’ve been there, standing at the crossroads of a major life decision, unsure of which path to take, afraid of what might lie ahead.

But here’s something I’ve learned from those moments: change is inevitable, and the ability to embrace it rather than resist it is a marker of mental toughness.

Mentally tough people understand that change is a part of life. They adapt, they evolve, and they’re not afraid to leave their comfort zones.

They know that every change, every transition, is a chance to grow. It’s not the change itself that defines us, but how we respond to it.

7) Set boundaries

Setting boundaries can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but it’s an essential part of maintaining mental toughness.

Mentally tough individuals understand the importance of saying ‘no’ when necessary. They know their limits and aren’t afraid to communicate them to others.

By setting clear boundaries, they are able to maintain balance, avoid burnout, and ensure they’re not compromising their own needs for the sake of others.

If you’re someone who can set and maintain boundaries, you’re demonstrating a crucial aspect of mental toughness.

8) Cultivate a growth mindset

At the heart of mental toughness is a growth mindset.

This is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work.

Mentally tough individuals believe in their capacity to grow. They see challenges as opportunities for learning, not as insurmountable obstacles.

They understand that failure is not a permanent condition but a stepping stone on the path to success.

It’s this mindset that will carry you forward, helping you navigate life’s challenges with resilience and grit.

Final thoughts

Mental toughness isn’t something you wake up with one day—it’s something you build, piece by piece, through choices, habits, and a whole lot of life.

And here’s the thing: It’s not about perfection or even always feeling strong.

It’s about showing up, even when things feel messy or hard. Whether you’re embracing change, setting boundaries, or bouncing back after failure, every little effort counts.

So as you think about these eight traits, remember that mental toughness is as much about kindness to yourself as it is about resilience.

Progress, not perfection. Effort, not ease.

And if you’re doing these things, no matter how imperfectly, you’re already tougher than you think.

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

5 morning habits of people who radiate joy and positivity

7 signals a man gives when he’s attracted to you but wants you to take the first step