There is nothing quite as comforting as a hug from the right person. Whether between parents and children, friends or lovers, hugs strengthen our bonds while making us healthier and happier.
You may not have thought about it, but there are different types of hugs that convey different messages between people.
This is also true of hugs between potential life partners.
1. The hug from behind
You are busy in the kitchen cooking or cleaning up and your guy comes from behind and puts his arms around you. In this hug he is covering your body from behind, protecting you while pulling you close to him, making you feel wanted.
This man is ready to protect you and is not afraid of responsibility. Even if he hasn’t said the words yet, a guy who holds you like this is in love.
The one exception is if your man almost always hugs you from the back. “That might mean he craves a closer connection but thinks you’re unavailable,” says Dr Christopher Blazina, author of The Secret Lives of Men. “He avoids hugging face-to-face because he’s worried you’re not into him.”
2. The hug at the waist
Even if the man hasn’t confessed his feelings to you yet, this embrace speaks for itself. This kind of hug is an intimate gesture and it shows that he wants to spend as much time together as possible. He trusts you and is happy to see you.
But be careful, these men are often quick to fall in and out of love in a relationship.
3. The hug with a pat on the back
We all know this hug and it’s not a romantic one. If he is your friend, the hug is just that, a hug from a friend and the friendship is unlikely to go any further.
If you are already in a relationship and this is the kind of hug you mostly get from him, you might consider that he’s not really than into you. You are more like a preferred buddy. Maybe time to move on and find the one that will really be into you?
4. The hug while looking into the eyes
A tender hug from him while looking into your eyes spells a deep connection between you. He cares for you deeply. Hold onto this one!
5. The “London Bridge” hug
In this hug there’s an actual distance between you and the whole affair looks awkward. If a guy hugs you like this, he’s not into you and most likely doesn’t want to hug you in the first place. If the distance between you is spontaneous, then obviously you feel the same and are only doing the polite thing.
6. The one-handed hug
When he embraces you by pulling you close with one arm around your shoulder it is a vivid image of him taking you under his wing. This guy will protect you and be ready to offer help and support when needed.
If you are only friends, then the man offers his help and support. Likewise, a girl who hugs a guy like this is signally that the guy is just a friend and things will probably not go any further.
7. The naughty hug
This is the hug where the guys hand travels down your back and maybe rests on your buttock. He’s clearly ready for some bedroom action. No patience here.
Even though you might not be in a relationship yet, he is quick to establish his “claim” on you as his.
If indeed you are not in a relationship, his behavior demonstrates lust, not love. If however you are in a relationship, his clearly still has the hots for you.
8. The strong hug
If a man hugs you firmly and gently strokes your back, you have everything you need: someone that both protects and cherishes you. He is committed and wants a long-term relationship that includes the whole nine yards. If that’s what you want to, then you’re in luck.
9. The hug that lasts
This kind of hug keeps on without either person having to say anything. It is a silent expression of love and support that doesn’t require any words. It is not only expressed between couples but also between loved ones in general.
Whoever hugs you like this, will always stand by you through thick and thin.
All these hugs beg the question: what type of hugger are you?
How to hug a guy
If you’re a girl, a great hug doesn’t have to be complex or difficult. All it takes is a genuine commitment to hold someone. Being half hearted and hesitant won’t help you out.
Guys aren’t looking for the ultimate technique that makes them feel good. It doesn’t have to sexual, or sensual. You just need to commit and be all in when you’re doing it.
Here are 2 methods, depending on whether it’s a romantic hug, or a friendly hug.
Method 1: The romantic hug
1) Smile at your man and give him eye contact.
2) Wrap your arms around him, sliding both arms between his arms and torso, connecting them at his upper back.
3) Press your chest into his. This is a way to experience a “heart to heart” hug. You can even rest your cheek on his shoulder or chest.
4) Just relax and feel the warmth between the two of you. Let it happen naturally. You’ll both know when to stop.
5) If you really want to lift the temperature, stroke your hand on his back and hug him even tighter.
Method 2: The friendly hug
1) Make eye contact and open your arms. Then proceed to move in.
2) You don’t have to be as close as you are in a romantic hug. You can keep your feet more apart.
3) Open your arms wide and place them on his back. Wrap your hands together.
4) Make sure your head is going the opposite way to him to make it more comfortable.
5) Squeeze but don’t hold for too long. You can just squeeze for a second or two.
6) Step away and smile at them.
How to tell if a hug is romantic
If you want to know whether a hug is romantic or not, there a few things you can look for.
1) First, you’ll want to get a baseline of how he usually hugs other people.
This will give you an indication of whether his hug with you is romantic.
2) Is he holding his hug longer than he usually does?
This means that he likes being close to you. He wants to develop rapport by prolonging the hug and showing you that’s he’s comfortable getting close to you.
3) Is he squeezing tighter than he does with other people?
If he is, this is excellent indication that he wants to make you feel comfortable. He wants to be there for you.
4) Is he stroking your back?
This is a huge sign that it’s romantic and he is attracted to you. If he does it slowly and sensually then he definitely likes you. Usually this will be on the lower/middle back. If it’s on the buttocks, then he’s a bit naughty and he might be looking for something sexual.
5) Does he lift you up?
This is a definite romantic signal. He’s trying to show you his dominance and that he can take care of you.
What to do when a man hugs you from behind
1) If you don’t know him
If a man hugs you from behind and you don’t know who he is, it can be frightening. He might be coping a feel of your body, which is extremely rude.
So if you don’t know him, it can be a dangerous situation.
You can first push his arms away to signal that you don’t want to hug him. If that doesn’t work, then you might want push your head back to headbutt him. That will certainly shock him and get him away.
2) If you like the guy
Now, I’m sure that a random guy doing this isn’t the majority of cases. Most of the time the guy will like you or you’ve been previously flirting.
So if you’re enjoying it, you can put one arm on his arm, like your comfortable and you can lean your head on his upper shoulder.
If you like him, but you don’t really want to do this hug in public, you can turn your body around, give him a warm, proper hug and then proceed to move away.
What kind of hugs do guys like
This is a question that many women have on their mind, but the truth is, you don’t have to be so complex about it. There’s no specific technique.
The most important thing is that you’re genuinely invested in giving the hug. Don’t hesitate, or else it’s just awkward.
If you like the guy, your feet can be close to his and you can move your body in and relax into his chest.
If he’s just a friend, then your feet can be further apart from his and you can hold the hug for a shorter amount of time. Then you can smile at him and proceed to move away.
NEW EBOOK: If you want to learn more about eastern philosophy and how it can help you reduce anxiety and stress, check out Hack Spirit’s eBook: How to Use Buddhist Teachings for a Mindful, Peaceful and Happy Life. By unwrapping iconic Buddhist teachings, this 71 page eBook focuses on specific actions you can take to alleviate stress, cultivate healthier relationships, and live a more satisfying life. Check it out here.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirit articles. To make a donation, select the amount and click the "donate" button below.