9 things you should never talk about with others (if you want to be liked)

Becoming likable isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about knowing what to share and what to keep to yourself.

Discussing certain topics can make others feel uncomfortable or even annoyed.

There are specific things that you should avoid discussing if you want to be liked.

This isn’t about being fake or inauthentic, but rather being mindful of how your words impact others.

Here’s the lowdown on the 9 things you should never talk about with others if you want to be liked.

1) Your personal drama

Everyone has their own share of ups and downs. But constantly discussing your personal issues can make you come across as self-centered.

Sure, there are moments when it’s appropriate to share your problems. But be aware of the timing and the person you choose to confide in.

Remember, empathy is a two-way street. If you constantly unload your personal drama onto others, they might start feeling emotionally drained.

It’s important to strike a balance between being open about your life and oversharing.

Just like you, others also have their own battles to fight. So, keep your conversations light and engaging instead of turning them into therapy sessions.

This isn’t about hiding your true self, but rather about understanding that not every detail of your life needs to be shared.

2) Controversial topics

Here’s a personal story. A while back, I attended a friend’s dinner party. Everything was going great until the conversation took a turn towards politics.

There was this one guy, let’s call him John, who seemed to have strong opinions. He started passionately sharing his views on the latest political news. As you might guess, not everyone at the table shared his perspective.

The atmosphere quickly changed from friendly to tense. People started arguing and it became uncomfortable for everyone present.

The night which was supposed to be filled with laughter and good times, ended up with heated discussions and awkward silences.

From that day onwards, I’ve learned that it’s best to avoid discussing controversial topics like politics or religion, especially in social gatherings.

These topics can quickly turn a pleasant conversation into an argument as people often have strong and opposing views on these issues. So, it’s better to keep the conversation light and fun to maintain a positive environment.

3) Your income

Money is a touchy subject for many people. In fact, according to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, 72% of Americans reported feeling stressed about money at least some of the time.

Discussing your income can lead to comparisons, which in turn can create feelings of inadequacy or resentment among others.

Whether you earn more or less than the person you’re talking to, sharing this information can create unnecessary tension and awkwardness.

It’s best to keep your financial situation private unless it’s absolutely necessary to discuss it. This way, you can maintain an atmosphere of mutual respect and avoid potential conflicts.

4) Negative opinions about others

We all have opinions about the people in our lives. However, sharing negative opinions about others can make you seem unkind and untrustworthy.

Gossiping or badmouthing someone behind their back not only hurts the person you’re talking about, but it also reflects poorly on you. The person you’re speaking to might start wondering what you say about them when they’re not around.

Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of people. If you really need to vent about someone’s behavior, talk to a trusted friend or family member privately.

Being liked often comes down to being a person who others feel comfortable and safe around. And part of that involves building trust by respecting others, even when they’re not present.

5) Constant complaints

We all have things that annoy or bother us. But if you’re constantly complaining about everything, it can be draining for the people around you.

Complaining not only brings down your mood, but it also brings down the mood of everyone who is listening to you.

People generally prefer to be around others who are positive and uplifting. So instead of focusing on the negatives, try to look at the brighter side of things.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your problems. However, constant negativity can make others feel like they need to walk on eggshells around you.

Try to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and positivity. You’ll likely find that people are more drawn to you as a result.

6) Criticizing others’ choices

We’re all unique individuals with our own sets of beliefs, values and lifestyles. It’s this diversity that makes the world an interesting place.

However, criticizing others for their choices – whether it’s their career, their relationships, or their lifestyle – can come across as judgmental and non-empathetic.

Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone criticized your choices? Probably not very good.

Instead of passing judgment, try to embrace the differences. Show understanding and respect for the fact that everyone has their own path in life.

By being accepting and open-minded, you’ll not only make others feel valued, but you’ll also enrich your own perspective on life.

7) Your past mistakes

Once upon a time, I made a major blunder at work. It was a mistake that cost the company quite a bit of money and caused me a lot of embarrassment.

At first, I used to bring it up in conversations, trying to make light of it. But I noticed that people started looking at me differently. It seemed like they started associating me with that one mistake.

That’s when I realized that constantly discussing your past mistakes can create a negative image in others’ minds.

Of course, it’s important to recognize and learn from our mistakes. But dwelling on them publicly can make people question your capabilities and judgement.

While it’s okay to acknowledge your past errors, don’t let them define you in the eyes of others. Show them how you’ve grown and improved since then instead.

8) Medical details

While it’s completely normal to share health updates with our loved ones, going into graphic detail about medical issues can make others feel uncomfortable.

Detailed descriptions of surgeries, illnesses, or injuries might not be the best topics for casual conversations. Some people might find them distressing, especially if they’re squeamish or sensitive.

Instead, keep the specifics to a minimum unless someone specifically asks for them.

Empathy is key in all conversations. Be mindful of the other person’s comfort level while sharing such information.

9) Unsolicited advice

One of the quickest ways to annoy someone is to give them advice they didn’t ask for. While your intentions might be good, unsolicited advice can come off as condescending or intrusive.

People often share their problems because they need someone to listen, not because they’re seeking solutions.

Before you jump in with your advice, pause and ask if the other person wants to hear it.

Sometimes, the best way to be supportive is just to listen and empathize. This shows that you respect their ability to handle their own situations. And that’s a likable quality to have.

The art of conversation

The art of conversation is a dance of words, emotions, and understanding. It’s not just about what you say, but also about what you choose not to say.

The topics we’ve discussed are not off-limits, but they require a certain level of tact and sensitivity. They underscore the importance of empathy in our interactions with others.

Being likable isn’t about pleasing everyone or hiding your true self. It’s about showing respect for others’ feelings and experiences.

When you engage in a conversation, remember these points. Think before you speak. Be mindful of your words and how they might affect others.