9 things you don’t realize you’re doing that push men away

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There’s a thin line between keeping someone interested and pushing them away, especially when it comes to men.

The tricky part is, often we aren’t even aware we’re crossing this line. We think we’re doing everything right, but in reality, our actions could be sending the wrong signals.

In the realm of relationships, every action has a reaction. And sometimes, what we perceive as a harmless habit could be causing more harm than good.

In this article, I’ll share with you 9 things you may not realize you’re doing that could be pushing men away.

These insights might just save your relationship or help you build a stronger one in the future. Bu

Let’s get started.

1) Over-dependence

We all value our independence, and men are no exception.

Having a partner who leans on you for support is one thing. But when that support becomes a necessity for every tiny decision, it can start to feel like a burden.

Men appreciate a woman who has her own interests, her own ambitions and can make decisions independently. It’s not about being distant or unavailable, but about maintaining a healthy balance between dependence and independence.

Inadvertently, your over-reliance may be pushing him away. It’s essential to remember that you are two individuals who choose to be together, not two halves that make a whole.

If you find yourself seeking his approval or advice on every little thing, it’s time to take a step back. Cultivate your own interests, make your own decisions, and let him know that while his opinions matter, they are not your only guiding force.

I’s not about distancing yourself; it’s about showcasing your own strength and individuality.

2) Not appreciating their efforts

Nobody likes their efforts to go unnoticed, especially in a relationship.

I remember a situation with my own partner once. He had spent a whole weekend fixing a leak in the kitchen. It was a messy, time-consuming job, but he did it without any complaints.

When he was done, I just said, “Thanks” and went on with my day. Later, he confessed that my lack of appreciation had hurt him. He’d expected me to acknowledge his effort more enthusiastically.

That’s when I realized that it’s not just about saying “Thank you”. It’s about recognizing the effort, the time, and the thought that went into the action.

Men, like anyone else, need to feel appreciated. If you consistently overlook their efforts or take them for granted, it can push them away.

Remember to show genuine appreciation for the little things they do – it really can make all the difference.

3) Neglecting their need for space

In a relationship, spending quality time together is crucial. But so is having personal space.

While we often hear about how women need their own space, the same applies to men. According to psychologist Dr. Robert Weiss, men also require a certain amount of solitude to re-energize, process their thoughts, and maintain a healthy level of self-awareness.

If you’re constantly invading his personal space or not allowing him any alone time, it could be making him feel suffocated. Keep in mind that needing space doesn’t mean he’s disinterested or doesn’t care about you. It’s just part of maintaining a healthy balance in the relationship.

If he wants to spend an evening watching sports by himself or hanging out with his friends, don’t take it personally. Giving him the space he needs can actually bring you closer in the long run.

4) Being overly critical

Constructive criticism is healthy in a relationship. It helps us grow and improve. But there’s a fine line between being helpful and being overly critical.

If you are constantly picking at his flaws or criticizing his actions, it can be extremely damaging. No one likes to feel like they’re not good enough, and being on the receiving end of constant criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.

Aim for balance. Praise his strengths and accomplishments, and when you do have to criticize, do it constructively. Focus on the issue at hand rather than attacking his character.

It’s not about changing who he is, but about helping each other become better versions of yourselves.

5) Ignoring their feelings

One common misconception is that men don’t have as deep emotions as women do, or they aren’t as affected by emotional issues. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Men may express their feelings differently, but that does not mean their feelings are any less valid or intense. Ignoring their feelings, or dismissing them as unimportant, can make them feel isolated and misunderstood in the relationship.

When he opens up about his feelings, listen attentively. Show empathy and validate his emotions. Let him know that his feelings matter to you.

By acknowledging his emotions and showing understanding, you create a safe space for him to express himself, strengthening your relationship in the process.

6) Not supporting their passions

We all have things we’re passionate about – hobbies, interests, dreams. These are what make us who we are.

In a relationship, it’s important to support your partner’s passions, even if they don’t align with your own. This isn’t just about tolerating their interests; it’s about actively encouraging and supporting them.

When you dismiss or belittle what he loves, it can feel like a personal rejection. It’s not just about the hobby or interest; it’s about him and a part of his identity.

Even if you’re not a fan of his favorite band or don’t understand the appeal of his weekend bike rides, be his cheerleader. Show interest in his passions and encourage him to pursue them.

You fell in love with him for who he is. And his passions are a part of that. When you support what he loves, you’re supporting him.

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

Life is full of ups and downs, and relationships are no different. It’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. There will be difficult conversations that need to be had.

I remember a time when I was afraid to bring up a particular issue with my partner. I thought it would lead to an argument, so I kept putting it off. Eventually, the issue grew bigger and turned into a much larger problem than it initially was.

Avoiding tough conversations doesn’t make the issue go away; instead, it allows the problem to grow. It’s important to communicate openly about the things that bother you or problems that need to be addressed.

Sure, these discussions might be uncomfortable, but they’re necessary for the growth and health of your relationship.

Tackle issues head-on, with honesty and respect. It might be difficult in the moment, but it’s better in the long run.

8) Making assumptions

Assumptions can be harmful in any relationship. They create a gap between reality and perception, causing unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts.

If you find that you’re always assuming what he’s thinking or feeling, or what his intentions are, you might be pushing him away. No one likes to feel misunderstood or misjudged.

Instead of assuming, ask. Open communication is key in any relationship. Always give him the chance to express himself and explain his side before jumping to conclusions.

Assumptions are rarely accurate. By eliminating them from your relationship, you’ll foster better understanding and stronger communication.

9) Not showing enough love and affection

At the end of the day, we all want to feel loved and cherished.

Though men might not always vocalize their need for affection, it doesn’t mean they don’t crave it. Regular displays of love and affection help to reinforce your bond and remind him of your feelings for him.

This doesn’t always have to be grand gestures. A simple “I love you”, a heartfelt compliment, a warm hug, or even just holding his hand can go a long way in making him feel loved and secure in your relationship.

Never underestimate the power of genuine love and affection in keeping a man close.

Final thoughts

The dance between two people in a relationship is delicate and complex. The small actions we take, the words we say, even the ones we don’t, they all contribute to the harmony or discord of our relationships.

Understanding and recognizing the things that might be pushing men away is the first step towards fostering a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Remember, every man is unique. What pushes one man away might not affect another. The key is to communicate openly, respect each other’s individuality, and make conscious efforts to understand and meet each other’s needs.

As psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The greatest gift we can offer anyone is our authentic self.” In the end, being genuine, compassionate, and understanding can go a long way in any relationship.

So reflect on these points, see if any resonate with you and your relationship, and remember – it’s never too late to make positive changes.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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