9 things in life you should always keep to yourself, according to psychology

In life, we often feel the need to share everything, but psychology suggests that isn’t always the best approach.

There are certain things that are best kept to ourselves. Sharing too much can sometimes backfire, leading to misunderstandings or even damaging relationships.

Psychology has identified nine key things we should consider keeping private. These are elements of our lives that we might instinctively want to share, but which could be better off kept close to the chest.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Personal grievances

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and it’s natural to feel a sense of dissatisfaction or annoyance occasionally.

Psychology, however, suggests that it’s often better to keep these grievances to ourselves. Sharing our frustrations with others, especially when they involve someone else, can often lead to unnecessary conflict or misunderstandings.

It’s okay to express our feelings, but it’s crucial to do it in a way that’s constructive and empathetic. Venting our frustrations without considering the potential impact on others can cause more harm than good.

2) Financial Status

Money is a touchy subject for many people, and for a good reason.

I remember a time when I got my first big paycheck. I was excited, and in my excitement, I shared the news with some friends. Instead of the congratulations I expected, I received mixed reactions. Some people were happy for me, but others seemed uncomfortable or even envious.

It was a lesson learned. Money can often create divisions and awkwardness, even among close friends.

Psychology suggests that it’s often better to keep our financial status to ourselves. It can help avoid unnecessary tension or awkwardness and maintain harmony in our relationships.

3) Future plans

You might think it’s a good idea to share your future plans with everyone, after all, sharing hopes and dreams can be exciting. But psychology suggests otherwise.

Studies have shown that sharing your goals can make you less likely to achieve them. It seems that when we tell others about our future plans, we experience a sense of satisfaction and prematurely feel a sense of accomplishment, which can decrease our motivation to actually follow through.

So next time you’re planning something big – whether it’s starting a new business or training for a marathon – consider keeping it under wraps until you’ve made significant progress.

4) Family issues

We all have family issues. It’s part of being in a family; disagreements and conflicts are bound to happen. But it’s often best to keep these problems within the family.

Disclosing family matters to others can lead to unwanted gossip, judgments, or misunderstandings. People outside the family may not fully understand the dynamics or history behind these issues, leading them to form inaccurate perceptions.

Every family has its own unique set of challenges. It’s how we deal with these challenges that matter, not what others think about them.

5) Personal beliefs

Our personal beliefs, whether they pertain to religion, politics, or social issues, can be deeply personal and sensitive. While it’s important to have open discussions and debates, it’s also crucial to know when to draw the line.

Sharing your beliefs with everyone you meet can often lead to unproductive arguments or even damage relationships. Respect for diverse opinions is key, but so is understanding that not everyone may be open to hearing your views.

Instead of wearing your beliefs on your sleeve, consider focusing on shared interests and common ground when interacting with others. This approach can often lead to more harmonious connections.

6) Acts of kindness

There’s a beautiful sense of fulfillment that comes with performing acts of kindness. Helping others, giving back, and making a difference can make our hearts swell with joy.

But sometimes, the most genuine acts of kindness are those that are done quietly, without the need for recognition or applause. There’s a certain magic in doing good deeds silently, not for praise or gratitude, but simply because it feels right.

Next time you do something kind for someone else, consider keeping it to yourself. The joy and contentment you’ll feel in your heart might just be reward enough.

7) Your fears and insecurities

Once, I had a fear of public speaking. The thought of standing in front of a crowd, all eyes on me, would send my heart racing. I made the mistake of sharing this fear with a coworker, who later used it to undermine me in a team meeting.

Fears and insecurities are part of being human. We all have them. However, revealing them to everyone may not always be wise. People might use your vulnerabilities against you or perceive you as weak.

It’s important to confront your fears and insecurities, seek help when needed, but do be cautious about who you choose to share them with.

8) Personal accomplishments

We all have moments of success and achievements that we’re proud of. It’s natural to want to share these moments with others. However, constantly talking about your own successes can come off as bragging and may turn others away.

It’s great to celebrate our accomplishments, but it’s equally important to stay humble and grounded. Remember, true success doesn’t need constant validation from others. It’s about personal growth, learning, and the satisfaction of knowing you’ve done your best.

When you achieve something, enjoy the moment, celebrate it, but also consider who you’re sharing it with and why.

9) Your deepest secrets

Everyone has secrets. These are the thoughts, experiences, and memories that shape us into who we are. They are the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden, not out of shame or fear, but because they are ours to hold.

Sharing your deepest secrets can sometimes lead to relief, understanding, and deeper connections. But it can also lead to pain, betrayal, and regret if shared with the wrong person.

Choose wisely who you share your most intimate secrets with. Trust is earned, not given freely, and your secrets are a part of you that deserve that respect.

Final thoughts: A matter of respect

Keeping certain things to ourselves isn’t about secrecy or dishonesty. It’s about understanding that not everything needs to be shared, discussed, or analyzed.

It’s about recognizing that some experiences, thoughts, and feelings are so intimately ours that sharing them can sometimes dilute their significance. It’s about preserving our personal space, our inner sanctum.

In the end, the 9 things we should always keep to ourselves aren’t just about maintaining social harmony. They’re also about respecting the deeply personal, intimate aspects of our lives that make us who we are.