9 things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run, according to psychology

We often get caught up in the daily grind, worrying about things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t really matter. As a psychologist, I can tell you that there are many things we stress over that won’t matter in the long run.

From a psychological perspective, it’s fascinating to see what we humans give importance to, and how these things don’t necessarily contribute to our long-term happiness or well-being.

In this article, I’ll share with you nine things in life that, according to psychology, don’t actually matter in the long run. By letting go of these worries, you might just find your path to a more relaxed and fulfilled life. So buckle up, and let’s delve into the wonderful world of human psychology.

1) Obsessing over mistakes

One of the most common things we tend to stress over is our past mistakes. It’s like playing an endless loop of a movie you didn’t enjoy in the first place.

From a psychological perspective, obsessing over past mistakes is not only futile but also detrimental to our mental health. We’re essentially anchoring ourselves to a moment in time that we can’t change.

The reality is, everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. Yet, the way we perceive and handle these mistakes can significantly impact our happiness and well-being in the long run.

According to psychology, it’s important to learn from our mistakes, but obsessing over them doesn’t change what happened. Instead, it robs us of the present and adds unnecessary stress.

So next time you find yourself stuck in that loop of self-critique, remind yourself that it’s not a movie worth replaying. It won’t matter in the long run. Instead, focus on what you can do now and in the future.

2) Chasing after everyone’s approval

I can tell you from personal experience, trying to please everyone is an exhausting and impossible task. Early in my career as a psychologist, I found myself bending over backwards to meet everyone’s expectations, seeking approval from peers, superiors, even my clients.

But here’s what I learned: You can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. The need for universal approval is a futile pursuit that only leads to stress and disappointment.

Psychology tells us that it’s more important to be authentic and true to ourselves. At the end of the day, the ones who matter most will appreciate you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

So if you’re like me and have spent countless hours agonizing over criticism or disapproval, remember this: In the long run, it doesn’t really matter. What truly matters is how you see yourself and how you continue growing as an individual.

3) Material possessions

In a world driven by consumerism, it can be easy to equate happiness with the latest gadgets, designer clothes, or lavish vacations. But according to numerous psychological studies, material possessions don’t contribute significantly to long-term happiness.

In fact, a study found that people who made expensive purchases did not report higher levels of happiness than those who made smaller, more frequent purchases. It seems that the thrill of a new purchase wears off fairly quickly and does not lead to sustained happiness.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat yourself or enjoy what money can buy. But it’s essential to remember that in the grand scheme of things, these material possessions won’t matter much in the long run. Instead, experiences, relationships and personal growth hold the key to enduring contentment.

4) Clinging to ego

In our society, we’re often encouraged to build and protect our ego. But one of the core teachings of Buddhism, a philosophy I explore in depth in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” is that this attachment to the ego is a source of suffering.

Buddhism teaches us about the concept of ‘Anatta’ or ‘non-self.’ This principle encourages us to see beyond our self-centered view of the world and realize that our ego – our self-image and the importance we attach to it – is transient and ultimately insignificant.

Halfway through my book, I delve into practical exercises and thought experiments designed to help readers understand and incorporate this Buddhist principle into their daily lives. By doing so, it can alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety that comes from protecting and enhancing our ego.

So, if you’re constantly worrying about maintaining your status, image or reputation, remember that according to psychology – and indeed, Buddhism – these concerns won’t matter in the long run. What truly matters is living with authenticity and compassion, free from the constraints of an inflated ego.

If you want to explore this concept further, you can check out my book here.

5) Perfectionism

There was a time when every task, every project had to be just perfect. The lines had to be straight, the words impeccably placed, the results nothing short of flawless. It was exhausting, and what’s worse, it was never enough.

Psychology tells us that perfectionism, this relentless pursuit of flawlessness, isn’t healthy. It doesn’t just set unrealistic standards; it also amplifies stress levels and can even lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

The truth is, life is messy and imperfect. And it’s in these imperfections that we find growth, resilience, and even beauty.

So if you find yourself striving for perfection in all areas of your life, remember: it won’t matter in the long run. What matters is doing your best, learning from the outcomes, and finding joy in the journey rather than the destination.

6) Staying in your comfort zone

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to settle into the comfort of routine and familiarity. But here’s the catch – staying in your comfort zone all the time doesn’t contribute to long-term fulfillment.

Contrary to what you might think, comfort zones aren’t necessarily comfortable. They often limit our experiences, stunt our growth, and prevent us from pursuing our true potential.

Psychology suggests that it’s when we step out of our comfort zone and face new challenges that we truly grow and evolve. It’s in these moments that we build resilience, learn new skills, and discover parts of ourselves we never knew existed.

So if you’ve been avoiding a particular challenge or change because it’s outside of your comfort zone, remember that in the long run, staying within those comfortable boundaries won’t matter as much as the growth you’ll experience by pushing past them.

7) Always being busy

In our fast-paced society, being busy has almost become a status symbol. We often equate busyness with productivity and success. But here’s something psychology wants us to understand: Being busy all the time doesn’t necessarily lead to a fulfilling life.

Sure, it’s important to be productive and get things done. But constantly rushing from one task to the next can leave us feeling drained and disconnected from what truly matters.

Psychology suggests that taking time to slow down, to reflect, and to engage in activities that nurture our body and soul is as important as accomplishing tasks on our to-do list.

So if you’re perpetually caught in the cycle of busyness, remember that in the long run, it’s not about how many things you’ve checked off your list, but about the quality of life you’ve lived. Balancing productivity with periods of rest and reflection is what truly contributes to long-term well-being.

8) Comparing yourself to others

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easier than ever to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We see highlight reels of others’ lives and feel inadequate, questioning our own achievements and worth.

Psychology tells us that this constant comparison is harmful to our self-esteem and overall well-being. It creates unnecessary stress and fosters feelings of envy and dissatisfaction.

In the long run, these comparisons don’t matter. Everyone’s journey is unique, and comparing ourselves to others only detracts from our own progress and happiness. Instead, focusing on our personal growth and celebrating our own milestones is far more fulfilling.

So next time you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remember that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. What truly matters is your own path and how you choose to walk it.

9) The pursuit of happiness

This might come as a surprise, but the relentless pursuit of happiness can sometimes do more harm than good. While it’s natural to want to feel happy, psychology suggests that making happiness our primary goal can lead us to overlook the value of other experiences that make up a fulfilling life.

Life is a spectrum of emotions – joy, sadness, anger, love, fear – and they all have their place. It’s these experiences, rather than constant happiness, that contribute to a rich and meaningful life.

In the long run, it’s not about chasing happiness at every turn. Instead, it’s about embracing the full range of human emotions and experiences. That’s what truly matters.

Final thoughts

In conclusion, the journey of life is a mixture of experiences, emotions, and lessons. It’s not defined by the material possessions we accumulate, the mistakes we make, or the approval we seek from others. These things, as we’ve discovered, don’t really matter in the long run.

What truly matters is how we navigate this journey with authenticity and compassion. It’s about understanding that happiness isn’t a destination but a byproduct of living in alignment with our values and embracing the full spectrum of human emotions.

This understanding aligns with the teachings of Buddhism, which I explore in depth in my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.” This book provides practical insights on how to let go of the things that don’t serve us and cultivate a life of purpose and fulfillment.

As you move forward, remember that it’s not about chasing perfection or happiness. Instead, it’s about embracing the impermanence of life and finding joy in the journey itself. It’s about living with maximum impact and minimum ego. That is what truly matters in the long run.