Lachlan Brown
There are so many things we stress about daily—things that feel urgent, important, and life-changing in the moment. But the truth is, most of them won’t matter in the long run.
As a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve learned that letting go of the little things can bring a lot more peace and clarity. It’s not always easy, but when you shift your perspective, you realize how much unnecessary weight you’ve been carrying.
What are the things we waste too much energy on?
Here are nine things that, according to mindfulness, just don’t matter as much as we think they do.
1) What other people think about you
It’s human nature to care about what others think. We want to be liked, respected, and accepted. But in the grand scheme of things, other people’s opinions don’t hold as much weight as we give them.
Most of the time, people aren’t thinking about you as much as you believe they are—they’re too busy worrying about their own lives. And even if they do have opinions about you, they’re constantly changing and based on their own experiences, not your reality.
Instead of stressing over how others perceive you, focus on how *you* see yourself. That’s what truly matters in the long run.
2) Trying to impress people
I used to spend so much energy trying to impress others—whether it was through the way I dressed, the things I owned, or even how I spoke. I thought that if people saw me as successful or interesting, I’d feel more fulfilled.
But here’s what I learned: no matter how much you try, you can’t control how others see you. And chasing external validation is exhausting.
I remember once buying an expensive watch just because I thought it would make me look more successful. But after the initial excitement wore off, it was just another thing sitting on my wrist. It didn’t change how I felt about myself.
Now, instead of trying to impress others, I focus on what actually makes me happy—things that bring me meaning and fulfillment, not just approval. And honestly? Life feels a lot lighter this way.
3) Winning every argument
It’s easy to get caught up in proving you’re right, especially when emotions run high. But in most cases, winning an argument doesn’t actually change anything—it just creates more tension.
People are confronted with facts that contradict their beliefs, they often double down instead of changing their minds. So even if you “win” the debate, you’re unlikely to change the other person’s perspective.
Instead of focusing on being right, it’s often more valuable to listen, understand, and decide whether the argument is even worth your energy. Most of the time, it isn’t.
4) Chasing external success
Buddhism teaches that attachment is the root of suffering—and one of the biggest attachments we have is to external success. We chase money, status, and achievements, believing they’ll bring us lasting happiness. But no matter how much we accomplish, there’s always something more to strive for.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how Buddhist principles can help us break free from this cycle. When we stop tying our self-worth to external achievements, we find a deeper sense of peace and purpose.
True fulfillment doesn’t come from what we achieve—it comes from how we live, how we treat others, and how present we are in each moment.
5) Holding on to grudges
It’s easy to replay past hurts over and over, convincing yourself that holding on to resentment somehow protects you. But the truth is, grudges don’t punish the other person—they only weigh you down.
There was a time when forgiving someone felt impossible. The anger felt justified, like a shield against being hurt again. But over time, carrying that bitterness became exhausting. Letting go didn’t mean excusing what happened—it just meant freeing up space for peace instead of pain.
Forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about choosing to move forward instead of staying stuck in the past. And in the long run, that choice makes all the difference.
6) Being happy all the time
It sounds strange, but chasing constant happiness can actually make life more stressful. The more we believe we *should* be happy all the time, the more we resist normal human emotions like sadness, frustration, or boredom.
But life isn’t meant to be a nonstop high. It’s full of ups and downs, and trying to force happiness in every moment only leads to disappointment. Real peace comes from accepting the full range of emotions—without trying to push the “negative” ones away.
Ironically, when you stop obsessing over being happy, you actually feel more content in the long run.
7) Comparing yourself to others
It’s never been easier to compare ourselves to others. Social media gives us a constant highlight reel of other people’s lives, making it seem like everyone else has it all figured out. But comparison is a losing game—there will always be someone who seems to have more, do more, or be more.
The problem is, we’re often comparing our behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s carefully curated moments. It’s not a fair comparison. And in the end, what someone else has or does has no real impact on *your* path.
Instead of measuring yourself against others, focus on your own progress. That’s the only thing that truly matters.
8) Getting everything perfect
Perfectionism can feel like a good thing—it pushes you to work hard and do your best. But in reality, it often leads to stress, procrastination, and never feeling satisfied with what you’ve done.
I used to think that if I could just get everything *exactly right*, I’d finally feel accomplished. But the more I chased perfection, the more frustrated I became. Nothing ever felt good enough, and instead of enjoying what I created, I only saw the flaws.
The truth is, nothing in life is ever truly perfect. And once you accept that, you free yourself to actually enjoy the process instead of obsessing over the outcome.
9) Waiting for the “right time”
It’s easy to put things off, telling yourself you’ll start when you have more time, more confidence, or when everything feels perfect. But the “right time” is an illusion—it never actually comes.
Life doesn’t wait. The longer you delay, the more chances slip by. The only moment you truly have is *now*.
Bottom line: Most of it doesn’t matter
Much of what we stress over—our mistakes, other people’s opinions, the need to be perfect—ends up being insignificant in the long run. Yet we spend years carrying these burdens, convincing ourselves they’re essential.
Buddhism teaches that attachment to these worries is what creates suffering. In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how letting go of what doesn’t serve us can bring more clarity, freedom, and peace.
Because at the end of the day, most of the things we obsess over won’t matter years from now. What *does* matter is how present we are, how we treat others, and whether we truly live in the time we have.
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