There’s a thin line between being polite and being fake, and it’s not always easy to see.
Psychology tells us that fake people often hide their true colors behind a mask of pleasantries.
But if you know what to look for, you can spot the subtle signs. It’s a matter of reading between the lines.
In this article, I’ll share 9 subtle signs of a fake person, according to psychology. These hints will help you see past the façade to the reality beneath.
1) Excessive flattery
Psychology tells us that one of the most common signs of a fake person is their tendency to lay on the compliments.
Sure, genuine people give compliments too. But fake people often use flattery as a tool to win people over. It’s a way to make you let your guard down, to make you more susceptible to their influence.
But here’s the catch – their compliments often feel shallow. They lack sincerity and depth. It’s as if they’re saying what they think you want to hear, rather than what they truly feel.
When you receive a compliment that feels a little too good to be true, take a moment to consider the source. Is this person always excessively flattering?
If so, it might be one of the signs they are not as genuine as they appear.
2) Inconsistency in their words and actions
Now, this is something I’ve personally encountered more than once. Inconsistency is often a sign of a fake person.
There was this one time, I had a friend who would always talk about how important honesty was to them. They would say things like, “I can’t stand liars,” or “Honesty is the most important thing in a friendship.”
But over time, I noticed a disconnect between their words and actions. They would often make plans and then cancel at the last minute without a valid reason, or promise to do something and then not follow through.
Their actions just didn’t match up with what they were saying. And that’s when I realized that their words about honesty were just that – words. They didn’t actually value honesty as much as they claimed to.
Look out for inconsistencies between what people say and what they do. It can be a subtle sign of a fake person.
3) They often play the victim
Interestingly, psychology suggests that fake people tend to have a perpetual victim mentality. They often portray themselves as the hapless victims of circumstances, other people’s actions, or just bad luck.
This tendency to consistently play the victim serves a purpose for them. It allows them to shirk responsibility for their own actions and decisions. It also garners sympathy and attention from others, which they often crave.
However, the truth is that everyone faces hardships and challenges at some point. Genuine people take responsibility for their actions and find ways to overcome obstacles rather than blaming others or playing the victim.
4) They’re seldom genuinely happy for others
One trait that’s often overlooked when identifying a fake person is their inability to be genuinely happy for others.
True, genuine people celebrate others’ successes and victories. They’re there to cheer you on when you achieve something, and their happiness for you is sincere and heartfelt.
On the flip side, fake people struggle with this. They often view life as a zero-sum game, where someone else’s success means their loss. This can lead to them downplaying your achievements or even making snide remarks under the guise of humor.
If you notice that someone isn’t truly happy when good things happen to others, that might be a red flag that they’re not as genuine as they appear.
5) They’re always in drama
According to psychology, another sign of a fake person is their constant involvement in drama.
Genuine people tend to avoid unnecessary conflicts and dramas. They value peace, harmony, and positive relationships. They believe in resolving problems amicably and don’t indulge in backbiting or gossip.
On the other hand, fake people seem to thrive on drama. They often create conflicts and then play innocent. They enjoy the attention that comes from being at the center of it all.
If you notice someone who always seems to be surrounded by drama or conflict, it might be a sign that they’re not as genuine as they appear to be.
6) They lack empathy
One of the most heartbreaking signs of a fake person, for me, is their lack of empathy. Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is a fundamental human trait. It’s what allows us to connect deeply with others, to help and support each other.
Genuine people have empathy in abundance. They can feel your joy, your pain, your struggles, and your victories. They’re there for you, not just in good times but in bad times too.
Fake people, however, often struggle with empathy. They’re more focused on their own feelings and experiences, often neglecting to consider the feelings of others. This lack of empathy can make their interactions feel shallow and insincere.
Pay attention to how someone reacts when you’re going through a tough time. If they seem indifferent or dismissive, it might be a sign that they’re not as genuine as they appear to be.
7) They’re quick to break confidences
Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. We all have secrets, things we share only with those we trust the most.
I remember when I shared a personal secret with someone I thought was a friend. I trusted them to keep it confidential. But within a week, I heard my secret being discussed by others. It was a harsh reminder that not everyone values trust the same way.
Fake people often see secrets as currency, something to be traded for attention or to gain an advantage. They might break confidences without a second thought, without considering how it might affect you.
8) They’re always seeking attention
Psychology suggests that a common trait of fake people is their constant need for attention. They crave the spotlight and often go to great lengths to keep it on themselves.
Genuine people, on the other hand, are comfortable sharing the spotlight. They don’t need constant validation from others to feel good about themselves. They understand that everyone deserves recognition and praise, not just them.
If you notice someone always trying to steal the spotlight or constantly seeking validation from others, it could be a sign they’re not as genuine as they appear to be.
9) They’re not themselves around different people
The most telltale sign of a fake person, according to psychology, is their changeability depending on who they’re with.
Genuine people remain consistent in who they are, no matter the company. They have a strong sense of self and don’t feel the need to change their personality to fit in or impress others.
Fake people, however, often act like chameleons. They change their colors depending on their surroundings. One moment they’re one person, the next, they’re completely different.
Take notice of how people behave around different groups. If they drastically change their behavior or personality, it’s a strong indicator that they might not be as genuine as they seem.
Final thoughts: The importance of authenticity
At the heart of these signs lies a fundamental aspect of human nature – authenticity.
Being genuine and true to oneself is not just a noble trait, but also a crucial factor in building meaningful and sustainable relationships.
Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself.”
No one is perfect, and we all have our moments of being less than genuine. But cultivating authenticity, being aware of these signs, and striving to be true to ourselves and others is a journey worth undertaking.
Recognizing a fake person is not about passing judgments but understanding human behavior better. It’s about fostering healthier relationships and creating an environment where genuine interactions thrive. After all, authenticity is the bridge that connects us to one another in meaningful ways.
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