If you find yourself alone more often than not, it might be because of your deep and complex personality traits.
Sure, people love complexity in theory, but in action, it can be really intimidating to other people.
This is especially true of men in relation to women: men say they want a deep and complex woman, but when it comes down to it, they just get scared off by the intensity of the woman’s personality.
That’s not a bad thing though – deep women are willing to wait for someone who can handle them.
Here are 15 signs your personality is so deep that it’s intimidating others.
1) You ask too many questions
Because you like to understand things at a deeper level, you are naturally curious. You like to ask questions to get to the heart of a problem, feeling, thought, or event.
You like to get to know people on a more personal level and you do that by asking questions.
Don’t be too offended if people don’t want to answer your questions though, most people will be uneasy about such a deep knowledge seeker.
2) You are brutally honest
When it comes down to it, you don’t have time to waste beating around the bush. It’s why people both love and hate you.
You don’t bother to sugar coat things, and see your honesty as a positive trait about you.
Don’t worry, it is, but many people are not going to like it when you tell it like it is, especially if it’s a hard truth about themselves they don’t want to admit.
3) You know what you want
Knowing what you want means you can get to work faster. This means that people will be always in your dust.
When you speak your mind you are capable of achieving those goals and that makes people pretty uncomfortable; especially when they are comparing themselves to you and your amazing self.
4) You want meaningful relationships
As a person with a deep personality, you expect others to give as you give, but you’ll soon be disappointed when you find that many people are only “deep” on the surface” and that it is difficult for people to keep up the ruse over time.
You’ll know it when a good relationship comes along because it won’t feel forced and you’ll feel like you can be yourself.
5) You are not afraid of intimacy
You want to share your life with someone who understands you at your deepest core. That can be hard – see above.
But it doesn’t mean that you will never find it. Instead, you value your family and friendships at a deeper level to satisfy your need for a deeper understanding and level of intimacy with those around you.
6) You can see through people
Because you are in touch with yourself, you are better able to spot the frauds in the room.
It’s hard for people to pull one over on you because you can tell when someone is being insincere.
This is intimidating for people because let’s face it, we are all putting on some kind of a show all the time.
7) You like consistency
Your deep personality requires some maintenance and that means that you don’t like surprises. You expect people to do what they said they would do, and you always deliver on your promises in return.
When someone rocks the boat, it can be hard for your emotional thought process to handle, and that means that you need longer to deal with life’s problems.
But that’s okay, it also means you get to spend more time working through things that others would just glaze over.
8) You are intense
There’s only one way to slice this loaf of bread: you are too intense for some people. You love life and you love living life to the fullest.
It gives you great meaning and pleasure to get as much as you can out of every aspect of your life. That means that some people are going to take a step to the left when you blow through their world, but that’s okay. You got this.
9) You don’t wait around for people
Your deep personality allows you to be friends with yourself and understand what you need from relationships.
This means that you don’t waste time on people who don’t get you and you won’t wait around for someone to realize your awesomeness. You have more important things to do.
10) Your life isn’t fear driven
Every human being experiences fear. For some people, it can stop them from living a full life.
But you’re different.
Fear is just another annoying emotion you’ve chosen to accept and move on from.
You understand that you will undoubtedly experience fear when you try something new, but you also know that trying new things is what makes life fun and rewarding.
After all, growth only happens when you escape your comfort zone.
The bottom line is this:
Fear won’t stop you. You inherently know that it’s your greatest stepping stone to success.
This can intimidate a lot of people because they don’t want to be with someone who is breaking boundaries all the time.
11) You don’t waste time on banality
Most people love small-talk. They even love gossiping and talking about other people behind their back.
But this just isn’t you.
You don’t want to focus on petty issues like who’s dating who and what so and so are up to.
Your personality is intense and deep conversations are the only thing that satisfies your mind.
There’s way too much to learn about the world and you only get life once.
People think you’re rude because you won’t engage in banality with them.
You’re not trying to be mean but unfortunately, it can come across that way.
But you are who you are and when someone gets to experience a deep conversation with you, they get much more out of it than useless small-talk.
12) You are careful who you let into your life
You don’t need validation from others. You know who you are and what makes you tick.
It’s difficult for you to understand why some people have so many Facebook or Instagram friends when they don’t really know them. For you, that’s superficial and meaningless.
You only want to spend time with people who actually add to your life. After all, what good is a friend if they don’t make your life better?
Yes, you’re intense when it comes to adhering to these principles, but it’s the best way for you to live a great life.
13) You hate ignorance
Your critical thinking skills are something you’re immensely proud of.
So when people make judgments without knowing the facts, it irks you to your core.
Fair enough, too. People having a misinformed opinion is a big problem in the age of automated sensualized newsfeeds that are stuck in a bubble.
You know that thinking for yourself and developing your opinions based on research are some of the most important qualities one can have.
14) You love learning and expanding your mind
Your deep and complex mind needs new information to feed itself.
You love learning new things and expanding your knowledge about the world and the universe.
And let’s face it:
This can intimate a lot of people who prefer to watch TV and let their mind melt.
Sit down and watch Netflix? Nah, you’d rather read a book from Confucius or Buddha on what it means to live a life of purpose.
So while most people struggle to get you, when you do meet someone who operates on the same frequency as you, the connection ignites like two burning flames crossing paths.
15) You don’t need attention
Craving attention because of your looks is something you simply can’t understand.
You know that it’s superficial, fleeting and ultimately meaningless.
You don’t want to desire something like this. You’d rather live with integrity and keep your complexity and depth about you.
That’s why you take the time to get to know someone. You know there’s much more to a person than what appears on the surface.
This can be intimidating to some people because you won’t be manipulated by what appears on the outside. You see them for who they truly are.
You may also like reading:
- I was deeply unhappy…then I discovered this one Buddhist teaching
- How a regular guy became his own life coach (and how you can too)
- What J.K Rowling can teach us about mental toughness
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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