8 types of people who never deserve a second chance, according to psychology

We all have those people in our lives – the ones who seem to always let us down, no matter how many times we give them another shot.

As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve learned that there are certain types of people who, according to psychology, just don’t deserve a second chance.

Now, I’m not saying we should give up on people lightly. But there are some behaviors that are clear red flags, warning signs shouting, “Proceed with caution!”

This article is going to dive into those 8 types of people who, unfortunately, may not be worth your time or emotional investment. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Serial betrayers

We’ve all heard the saying, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” This is especially true when dealing with serial betrayers.

In the realm of psychology, there’s an understanding that past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. If someone has repeatedly let you down or betrayed your trust, it’s a clear sign that they may not be deserving of a second chance.

Betrayal can take many forms – it could be cheating in a relationship, lying about important matters, or even backstabbing in a professional setting.

The point here isn’t to hold grudges or to be unforgiving. But it’s crucial to protect our emotional well-being and not allow ourselves to be continuously hurt by the same person.

If you find yourself dealing with a serial betrayer, it might be time to reconsider if they truly deserve another chance. It’s tough, but sometimes letting go is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

2) Emotional manipulators

Ah, emotional manipulators – these individuals can be tricky to spot. They’re the masters of guilt trips and playing the victim card, making you feel like you’re the one in the wrong even when you’re not.

In my years of working as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how these people can drain the energy and happiness out of those around them. It’s like being caught in a whirlwind of confusion and guilt that’s hard to escape from.

Remember what the brilliant Maya Angelou once said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If someone is continuously manipulating your feelings to benefit themselves, it’s unlikely they’ll change their ways.

Giving these people second chances often just leads to more heartache. It’s wise to heed Maya’s advice and believe them when they show you their true colors. No one deserves to be an emotional puppet in someone else’s hands.

3) Users and takers

One-sided relationships where one person constantly takes and never gives back can be exhausting. These are the users – people who are in your life only for what they can get out of it, with very little regard for your needs or feelings.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk extensively about the importance of balance in relationships.

Users tend to upset this balance by taking advantage of your generosity and kindness, often pushing you into a state of codependency.

Giving a user a second chance usually means signing up for more disappointment. They’ve shown that they value their needs over yours, and that’s not likely to change.

It’s tough to cut ties with someone you care about, but sometimes it’s necessary for your own well-being. And remember, my book is there to guide you through the process of breaking away from these draining relationships. It’s not always easy, but trust me, it’s worth it.

4) The self-saboteurs

This might seem counterintuitive. Why wouldn’t we give a second chance to someone who seems to be their own worst enemy?

Well, self-saboteurs are people who consistently undermine their own success and happiness. They may make poor decisions, push away those who care about them, or refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

While it’s natural to want to help these individuals, it’s important to understand that change has to come from within. Giving them a second chance might feel like the compassionate thing to do, but it often just enables their self-destructive behavior.

Instead of getting caught in their cycle of self-sabotage, the best thing you can do is encourage them to seek professional help. They need more than a second chance – they need a roadmap to overcome their self-defeating tendencies. And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to step back and let them find their way.

5) The perpetual liars

I’ve always been a firm believer in honesty being the best policy, but unfortunately, not everyone shares this view. Enter the perpetual liars – those who seem incapable of telling the truth, even in situations where it would be easier to do so.

Trust is fundamental in any kind of relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or professional. And once that trust is broken, it’s incredibly hard to rebuild.

Perpetual liars have a way of eroding this trust with their web of untruths. You find yourself questioning everything they say and second-guessing your own judgement. It’s a draining and unhealthy situation to be in.

While everyone makes mistakes and tells the odd white lie, chronic lying is a different matter altogether. It’s a sign of deep-seated issues that need addressing.

If you’re dealing with a perpetual liar, think twice before giving them another chance. Trust me – you deserve relationships built on honesty and respect.

6) The abusers

Let’s get real here – abuse, in any form, is unacceptable. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological, no one should ever have to endure it.

Abusers are skilled at manipulation and can make you feel like you’re to blame. They may apologize profusely and promise to change, but in my experience, this rarely happens.

Remember this: You are not responsible for their actions. You are not the cause of their abuse. You deserve respect and kindness, not torment and fear.

Giving an abuser a second chance is not just harmful – it can be dangerous. It’s crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.

If you’re in an abusive situation, please seek help. There are resources and support systems available to help you escape and recover. You’re stronger than you think, and you don’t have to face this alone.

7) The non-apologists

Apologies are powerful – they show remorse, acceptance of one’s mistakes and the willingness to change. But what about those who never apologize, the non-apologists?

These individuals rarely admit their wrongdoings or take responsibility for their actions. They may deflect blame, make excuses or even turn the tables to make you feel guilty.

One of my favorite quotes is from Benjamin Franklin: “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” But with non-apologists, there’s often no apology to begin with.

Giving a non-apologist a second chance can feel like giving permission for them to hurt you again without any consequences. This isn’t fair to you and it doesn’t encourage them to grow or change.

Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that truly defines us. You deserve to be with people who can admit when they’re wrong and who strive to do better.

8) The narcissists

Narcissists are the masters of charm and manipulation, often making you feel special and loved – that is, until you’re not.

These individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. They tend to disregard or belittle the feelings of others and lack empathy.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly damaging. They can make you question your worth, your sanity, and your reality – a psychological phenomenon known as gaslighting.

Giving a narcissist a second chance usually results in more pain and confusion. They’re not likely to change because, in their eyes, they’re never wrong.

It’s hard to walk away from someone you care about, even when they hurt you. But sometimes, it’s necessary for the sake of your own mental and emotional health.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first. It’s essential. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, not used as a prop to boost someone else’s ego.


It’s never easy to decide whether or not to give someone a second chance. It can be even harder when you’re dealing with individuals who exhibit any of these eight types of behavior.

Always remember that your well-being is paramount. You deserve respect, honesty, and genuine love – don’t settle for anything less.

For anyone struggling with these tough decisions, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a guide to understanding your needs, setting boundaries, and navigating the complex world of relationships.

In the end, only you can decide who deserves a second chance in your life. Just ensure that decision is made with your best interests at heart.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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