8 types of family members that aren’t worth keeping in touch with, according to psychology

Family dynamics can be tricky, to say the least.

Sometimes, we find ourselves stuck in relationships that do more harm than good. And yes, this includes family members too.

Psychology suggests that there are certain types of relatives that, for the sake of our own mental wellbeing, we may be better off distancing ourselves from.

In this piece, I’ve identified 8 types of family members that might not be worth keeping in your circle. While it’s a tough decision to make, it could also be the healthiest one for you.

Let’s dive in.

1) The perpetual victim

We all know this type – the family member who is forever the victim, regardless of the situation.

Psychology tells us that these individuals often employ a tactic known as ‘victim mentality.’ They consistently blame others for their issues, never taking ownership of their own actions or decisions.

The problem with this pattern of behavior is that it can be emotionally draining for those around them. You might find yourself constantly trying to help, only to have your efforts dismissed or overlooked.

While it’s essential to be there for your family in times of genuine need, a persistent victim mentality can create a toxic environment. That’s why it might be healthier to keep some distance.

2) The constant critic

Then there’s the family member who can’t seem to say anything positive, ever. The constant critic, if you will.

For me, it was my Aunt Susan. Every family gathering, she had something negative to say – about my career choices, my clothes, even the way I laughed. Nothing seemed to be off-limits for her criticism.

Psychology suggests that this type of behavior often stems from a person’s insecurities. They try to bring others down as a way of making themselves feel superior.

But here’s the thing – it can have a profound impact on your self-esteem. After years of listening to Susan’s comments, I found myself second-guessing everything I did. It took a toll on my confidence and happiness.

Eventually, I realized that it was healthier for me to limit my contact with her. It wasn’t easy, but it allowed me to regain my sense of self-worth without the constant barrage of negativity.

3) The drama magnet

Another type to look out for is the family member who thrives on drama. They seem to attract it and revel in the ensuing chaos.

From psychological perspective, they are often classified as ‘high-conflict individuals.’ These people are typically characterized by a pattern of behavior that involves blame, all-or-nothing thinking, and a tendency to escalate minor issues into major conflicts.

Did you know that high-conflict individuals make up around 15% of our population? That’s right, they’re more common than you might think, and chances are you have one in your family.

The constant drama they create can be exhausting and disruptive, leaving you feeling stressed and upset. 

4) The guilt tripper

There’s often a family member who has a knack for making you feel guilty for things that are not your responsibility. They manipulate situations to make you feel like you owe them something.

Psychology identifies this as a form of emotional blackmail. These individuals exploit your sense of duty or obligation to get what they want.

Dealing with this constant guilt can have a damaging effect on your mental health, often leading to stress, anxiety, and even depression.

It’s okay to say no and set boundaries with these family members. It’s crucial to prioritize your wellbeing. Don’t let their guilt trips dictate your choices or actions.

5) The emotional leech

We all have those family members who seem to drain our energy, leaving us feeling depleted, anxious, or upset after every interaction. They’re often referred to as emotional leeches.

These individuals are usually overly dependent and clingy. They tend to latch onto others for emotional support, often disregarding the other person’s feelings or needs.

It can be tough to distance yourself from these family members. After all, we want to be there for our loved ones in their time of need. But it’s important to remember that it’s not selfish to prioritize your own emotional health.

Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to take a step back if someone else’s emotional needs are becoming too much for you to handle. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

6) The gaslighter

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you question your own reality, memory, or perceptions. And sadly, it can come from family members too.

I’ve experienced this with my older brother. He’d often dismiss my feelings or memories, making me question my own perceptions and sanity. It was subtle, but over time it eroded my self-confidence.

The damage that gaslighting can inflict is significant. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s essential to recognize the signs and take steps to protect yourself.

Your feelings and experiences are valid. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

7) The self-absorbed relative

It’s also important to be wary of family members who are excessively self-centered or narcissistic. They often dominate conversations, show little interest in others, and take advantage of situations for their own benefit.

According to psychology, this is a hallmark of narcissistic personality disorder. These individuals have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

Interacting with such family members can be frustrating and hurtful. Their lack of empathy and disregard for others’ feelings can leave you feeling insignificant and unvalued.

Everyone deserves to be heard and respected. It’s okay to distance yourself from family members who consistently disregard your feelings and needs.

8) The perpetual pessimist

The last type of family member to be cautious of is the perpetual pessimist. These are the ones who always see the glass as half empty and have a knack for turning any situation negative.

Studies show that constant exposure to negativity can actually change the way your brain functions, leading to increased stress and lessened capacity for happiness and satisfaction.

It’s crucial for your mental health to surround yourself with positivity. If a family member consistently brings you down with their pessimism, it might be time to consider limiting your interactions with them.

It’s your life. You have the power to choose who you allow in it.