8 tiny things you don’t realize you’re doing that instantly make a bad first-impression, according to psychology

There’s a thin line between making a positive first impression and a not-so-great one. It all comes down to the small details.

You see, we often don’t realize the tiny things we do that can instantly cast us in a bad light, particularly in the eyes of those we meet for the first time.

As per psychology, our subconscious actions often have more say in shaping perceptions than we’d like to believe.

In this article, I’ll be shedding light on the 8 tiny things you don’t realize you’re doing that instantly make a bad first impression.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Not making eye contact

Eye contact plays an integral role in human interaction.

According to psychology, maintaining eye contact shows you’re engaged and interested. However, it’s often overlooked in conversations, especially when we’re nervous or distracted.

Avoiding eye contact can unintentionally send a message of disinterest or discomfort, instantly making a bad impression.

This simple act can make the difference between being perceived as confident and trustworthy, or coming across as unsure and dismissive.

Remember to make eye contact, but ensure it’s natural and comfortable. Staring intensely can have the opposite effect and make people feel uncomfortable.

It’s about finding the right balance to make a positive first impression.

2) Overusing filler words

We all have those little words and phrases that we slip into our speech when we’re thinking or nervous. You know the ones I’m talking about – “um”, “like”, “you know”.

I remember this one time, during an important presentation. I was a bit anxious and found myself using “um” and “like” more often than I’d like to admit. It was only when a colleague gently pointed it out later that I realized the impact it had on my credibility and the impression I made.

Using too many filler words can give the impression that you’re unsure, unprepared, or lacking confidence. While they might seem harmless, these tiny verbal tics can instantly make a bad first impression.

The key is to be aware of your language and take the time to pause and think before you speak. Trust me, it’s better to take a moment of silence than to fill it with unnecessary words.

3) Neglecting body language

Body language is a silent communicator that often speaks louder than words. You might be saying all the right things verbally, but if your body language isn’t in sync, it can send mixed signals.

For example, crossing your arms while talking to someone can be interpreted as defensive or closed off, even if that’s not your intention.

Research suggests that around 55% of communication is nonverbal. That’s over half of what we communicate being done without uttering a single word!

Focus on maintaining open and positive body language. Stand tall, make sure your body is open and facing the person you’re talking to, and remember to smile. These small tweaks can make a world of difference to the impression you give.

4) Interrupting others

We’ve all been in a conversation where we’re eager to get our point across. Sometimes, in our enthusiasm, we might cut someone off mid-sentence.

Although it might not seem like a big deal, interrupting someone during a conversation can be perceived as disrespectful and rude. It suggests that you’re not interested in what they have to say or that you believe your thoughts are more important.

This behavior can instantly leave a bad taste in the mouth of the person you’re conversing with, casting a negative light on your first impression.

Practice active listening. Allow the other person to finish their thoughts before you chime in. It shows respect and makes the other person feel valued and heard.

5) Failing to show empathy

We’re all human, all carrying our own stories, joys, and sorrows. It’s this shared humanity that allows us to connect with each other on a deeper level.

Forgetting to show empathy during interactions can be a small oversight with big consequences. When people share their experiences or emotions with us, they’re not always looking for solutions. Sometimes, they just need to feel seen and heard.

Failing to respond with empathy can give the impression that you’re detached or uncaring. This can instantly set a negative tone for your relationship with that person.

When someone opens up to you, listen with your heart. Recognize their feelings and respond in a way that lets them know they’re not alone. It’s not just about what you say in these moments, but also how you say it. A kind word or an understanding nod can go a long way in making a positive impression.

6) Keeping your phone in hand

In this digital age, our phones have become an extension of ourselves. We use them to stay connected, capture moments, and even for entertainment. However, there’s a time and place for everything.

I recall a dinner I had with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. I was excited to catch up, but throughout the evening, I found myself instinctively reaching for my phone to check notifications. It was only when I saw the disappointment on my friend’s face that it hit me – my phone was stealing away from our shared moment.

Having your phone out during interactions can give the impression that you’re not fully present or interested in the conversation. It can make the other person feel less important or even ignored.

When you’re in a conversation, keep your phone tucked away. Show the other person that they have your undivided attention – it will make them feel valued and leave a positive impression.

7) Being negative

The energy you bring into a room is contagious. If you’re spreading negativity, it’s likely to bring down the mood of those around you.

Constantly complaining, criticizing, or focusing on the negative aspects of situations can be off-putting to others. It can give the impression that you’re a pessimist or difficult to please.

Positivity, on the other hand, attracts people. It makes them feel good and they’ll be more inclined to spend time with you.

Try to cultivate a positive outlook. It’s not about ignoring the negatives but rather choosing to focus on the positives. This change in perspective can significantly improve the first impression you make.

8) Forgetting to say “thank you”

Gratitude is a powerful tool in building positive relationships. It shows appreciation and can make people feel valued and respected.

Forgetting to express gratitude, especially when someone has gone out of their way to help or accommodate you, can leave a negative impression. It might suggest that you take other’s efforts for granted.

Saying “thank you” might seem like a small, insignificant detail, but its impact can be profound. It’s a simple act of kindness that can brighten someone’s day and leave them with a positive impression of you. 

Final thoughts: It’s all in the details

The complexities of human interaction and perception are often nestled in the smallest of details.

Consider the subtle influence of body language, for instance. Our non-verbal cues, largely subconscious and overlooked, bear a significant weight in how we’re perceived by others.

Similarly, our choice of words, our attentiveness, or even our ability to express genuine gratitude can leave lasting impressions on those we interact with.

As such, these ‘tiny things’ we’ve explored aren’t as tiny as they might seem. They hold the potential to shift perceptions, to transform an awkward introduction into a memorable first impression.

Whether it’s making eye contact during conversations, avoiding needless filler words, or showing empathy when it matters most – each action can significantly shape the impressions we leave.

So as you navigate through your interactions, remember that you have the power to influence how you’re perceived. It’s not about changing who you are but being mindful of how your actions might be interpreted by others.

In this dance of human interaction, every step counts. Every word matters. And every tiny detail can make a world of difference.