8 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for (even if you think you do)

There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing. We often end up explaining ourselves to others when we really don’t need to.

The difference comes down to self-worth. Feeling the need to justify our actions or decisions can stem from a place of insecurity or doubt.

But here’s the thing: there are certain things in life that you simply don’t owe anyone an explanation for, even if it feels like you do.

In this article, I’ll be revealing 8 instances where you can confidently keep your motives to yourself without guilt or shame.

Let’s get started. 

1) Your personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are your own invisible lines drawn around your comfort zone. They provide a clear definition of what’s acceptable behavior towards you and what’s not.

Ever encountered someone who crosses these lines, making you feel uncomfortable or disrespected? Maybe they demand more of your time than you’re able to give, or perhaps they make unwelcome comments about your personal life.

It’s in these instances we often feel the need to justify our boundaries. But here’s the thing. Your personal boundaries are just that – personal. They’re based on your values, experiences, and individual needs. You shouldn’t have to explain or justify them to anyone.

Incorporating mindfulness into this aspect of our lives can be truly empowering. By being present and aware of our feelings when our boundaries are being pushed, we can acknowledge our discomfort without feeling the need to explain it away.

Maintaining your personal boundaries is an important aspect of self-care and mental health. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for safeguarding your own wellbeing.

2) Your life’s path

As we journey through life, we all carve out our own unique paths. Each decision we make, from our career choices to our personal relationships, shapes the trajectory of our lives.

There will always be those who question or doubt our decisions, and it’s tempting to feel the need to explain ourselves. But remember, your life’s path is yours alone.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a revered Buddhist monk and mindfulness teacher, once said, “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

In my own journey through life, I’ve learned that sometimes people question our choices because they reflect their own uncertainties or unfulfilled dreams.

But you see, your path is not about them—it’s about you. You’re under no obligation to explain or justify the route you’re taking.

Your focus should be on living your truth and finding your happiness. That’s all that matters.

3) Your spiritual beliefs

In a world scattered with countless religions, philosophies, and belief systems, your spiritual beliefs are profoundly personal. They form the basis for your understanding of life, the universe, and everything in between.

Often, people may question your beliefs or even challenge them. It can feel like you’re constantly on the defensive, needing to explain or justify your faith.

But here’s some raw honesty: You don’t owe an explanation to anyone about your spiritual or religious choices. Not everyone will understand or accept them, and that’s okay.

Buddhism teaches us the concept of “Right Understanding” as part of the Noble Eightfold Path. It suggests that we should seek to comprehend things as they truly are, without imposing our own biases or preconceptions on them.

This wisdom applies to our spiritual beliefs too. Your faith doesn’t need validation from others. It’s about your personal journey towards enlightenment and understanding. You’re entitled to your beliefs without having to explain or defend them.

4) Your self-care routine

In our fast-paced world, taking time for self-care can often be misunderstood or even frowned upon. People may see it as laziness, selfishness, or neglecting your responsibilities.

But here’s some raw honesty: taking care of yourself is neither selfish nor indulgent. It’s essential.

Whether your self-care routine involves mindfulness meditation, yoga, a quiet walk in nature, or simply curling up with a good book – you don’t owe an explanation to anyone for prioritizing your mental health and well-being.

Mindfulness teaches us the importance of paying attention to our own needs and feelings in the present moment, without judgment. It encourages us to embrace self-care not as an optional luxury, but as a critical element of maintaining our mental and physical health.

So go ahead. Prioritize your self-care routine without guilt or the need for validation. After all, as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

5) Your personal growth journey

Personal growth is a unique journey that each of us undertakes. It involves introspection, learning, and constantly evolving to become the best version of ourselves.

And it’s not always an easy journey. There will be obstacles, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt. People may question your choices or your pace of growth.

But here’s the truth: Your personal growth journey is yours and yours alone. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for the path you’re taking, the speed at which you’re progressing, or the lessons you’re learning along the way.

In writing my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delved deep into the principles of Buddhism to explore how they can guide us on our personal growth journeys.

One key takeaway is that personal growth is not a competition. It’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery and improvement.

Take it at your own pace and remember – you don’t need anyone else’s approval or understanding for your own path of self-improvement.

6) Your choice to be single

In many cultures, there’s a societal expectation to pair up, marry, and start a family. If you’re single, people often feel entitled to ask why, as if it’s a problem that needs fixing.

But here’s some raw honesty: Choosing to be single is just that – a choice. And it’s just as valid as the choice to be in a relationship.

Buddhism teaches us about the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. It emphasizes that happiness does not solely come from external sources or relationships, but from within us.

Similarly, mindfulness encourages us to live in the present moment and appreciate our current state of being – single or otherwise.

Whether you’re single by choice or circumstance, remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship status. Being single isn’t a deficiency; it’s simply a state of being. And it can be a wonderful opportunity for self-growth and self-discovery.

7) Your past mistakes

We all have chapters in our past that we aren’t proud of. Mistakes we’ve made, paths we wish we hadn’t taken, and decisions that, in hindsight, were not the best.

Often, people feel entitled to know about these past errors and may judge us based on them. It can be hard not to feel the need to justify or explain away these past missteps.

But here’s the raw and honest truth: Your past mistakes don’t define you. They’re simply lessons learned on the journey of life.

The renowned mindfulness expert, Jon Kabat-Zinn, once said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” This quote applies beautifully to dealing with past mistakes. They’re the waves; lessons we have to navigate through.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your past mistakes. Instead of dwelling on them or feeling the need to explain them away, focus on learning from them and moving forward.

Every day is a new opportunity for growth and change.

8) Your need for solitude

In our hyper-connected society, choosing to spend time alone can seem counterintuitive. People often associate solitude with loneliness or label it as antisocial behavior.

But here’s the counterintuitive truth: Solitude isn’t a negative state. In fact, it’s an essential component of mindfulness and self-reflection.

Mindfulness encourages us to tap into our thoughts and feelings, and often the best way to do this is in solitude. It’s in these quiet moments that we can truly connect with ourselves, understand our needs, and cultivate inner peace.

So if you feel the need for solitude, whether it’s for a few hours, a day, or even longer – you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. Your mental well-being is your priority. Solitude is not isolation; it’s the peaceful nurturing of your inner self.

Conclusion

It’s essential to remember that your life is your own. You are in control of your decisions, your actions, and your journey. While it’s natural to want to explain yourself to others, remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for the choices you make that are true to you.

I explore these themes and more in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s a deep dive into the wisdom of Buddhism and how it can guide us to live more authentically and freely.

Your worth is not determined by others’ understanding or acceptance of your choices. Stay true to yourself, live authentically, and let your life be a reflection of who you truly are.