8 things emotionally secure people never do in social situations

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Ever bumped into someone who just seems to glide through social scenes like a pro?

They’re cool, collected, and always seem to know just the right thing to say.

Yep, you’ve guessed it – they’re emotionally secure.

But what sets these folks apart? And what are the things they steer clear of?

I’m about to unpack the eight things emotionally secure people never do in social situations.

Remember, everyone’s different and there’s no magic formula for emotional security.

But these are some common no-nos you’ll find among people who are really good at managing their emotions.

1. They Don’t Put Others Down

Ever been around someone who just can’t seem to stop criticizing others? It can be a real bummer, right? Well, emotionally secure people never resort to this kind of behavior.

They don’t feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better. They’re confident in who they are and don’t rely on belittling others to boost their own self-esteem.

Instead of focusing on negativity, they choose to uplift those around them. They understand that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and they respect that.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, try to avoid negative comments about others.

Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you’ll also create a more positive environment around you.

2. They Don’t Seek Validation from Others

Here’s the thing about emotionally secure folks: they don’t need others to tell them they’re doing a great job. They’re self-assured and are able to validate themselves.

This isn’t to say that they don’t appreciate or value feedback from others – they do!

But they don’t rely on it to feel good about themselves. They know their worth is not tied to what others think of them.

Emotionally secure people understand that everyone has different opinions, and that’s okay. They don’t change their behavior or compromise their values just to fit in or please others.

3. They Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations

Emotionally secure people don’t shy away from difficult conversations.

They understand that these talks, although uncomfortable, are crucial for personal growth and building stronger relationships.

A while back, I had a friend who was constantly late. It was starting to get on my nerves and affect our friendship. Instead of avoiding the issue or talking behind their back, I decided to address it directly.

I told my friend, “Hey, I value our friendship a lot and I feel frustrated when I have to wait for you because it makes me feel like my time isn’t valued. Can we work on this?”

It was a tough conversation to have, but it needed to be done. And guess what? My friend appreciated my honesty and made an effort to be more punctual.

Remember, avoiding difficult conversations only leads to misunderstandings and resentment.

So, muster up the courage and face them head-on. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it!

4. They Don’t Compare Themselves to Others

Emotionally secure people get it – everyone’s life journey is different. They focus on their own growth and accomplishments, rather than comparing themselves to others.

Comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of envy, low-self esteem, and depression. It’s a trap that can rob us of our happiness and satisfaction.

Emotionally secure individuals understand this.

They appreciate their own achievements and acknowledge their struggles without measuring them against someone else’s.

They know that everyone moves at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.

Instead of getting caught up in how others are doing, focus on your own path.

Celebrate your wins, learn from your losses, and remember that life is not a race! It’s about becoming the best version of yourself.

5. They Don’t Hold Grudges

Holding onto anger or resentment can be like carrying a heavy backpack. It can weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward.

Emotionally secure people understand this all too well and make the conscious decision not to hold grudges.

They realize that harboring these feelings only causes more pain and suffering to themselves, rather than the person who wronged them.

They opt to forgive, not necessarily because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.

It’s important to note that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done. It’s about letting go of the resentment and thoughts of revenge.

It’s about freeing yourself from the heavy burden and embracing peace, hope, gratitude, and joy.

It’s a step towards healing and moving on. It’s a brave act of self-love that leads to emotional freedom.

Trust me, your heart will thank you for it!

6. They Don’t Bottle Up Their Emotions

Emotionally secure folks know that it’s okay to feel and express their emotions.

They understand that keeping feelings bottled up can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems.

A few years ago, I was going through a rough patch. I felt overwhelmed, but I kept it all to myself. I thought showing my emotions would make me seem weak. That was a mistake.

Over time, the stress built up and took a toll on my mental and physical health.

Then, one day, I decided to open up about my feelings to a close friend. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

That’s when I realized that expressing your emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

It takes courage to be vulnerable and acknowledge your feelings.

So take it from me – don’t be afraid to let your feelings out. Talk to someone you trust or write in a journal. It’s not just okay to feel; it’s human. And remember, there’s strength in vulnerability!

7. They Don’t Ignore Their Needs

Real talk: emotionally secure people don’t ignore their own needs. They understand that they can’t pour from an empty cup.

Too often, we ignore our own needs in the pursuit of pleasing others or meeting societal expectations.

But here’s the hard truth – neglecting your own needs doesn’t help anyone in the long run. It can lead to burnout, resentment, and a whole lot of unnecessary stress.

Emotionally secure folks get this. They prioritize self-care and aren’t afraid to set boundaries. They understand that it’s not selfish to take care of oneself – in fact, it’s necessary.

So, stop putting yourself on the back burner. Listen to your body when it needs rest. Nourish your mind with positive thoughts.

And remember, it’s okay – and important – to take care of you. Because you can’t be there for others if you’re not there for yourself first. That’s just the raw truth!

8. They Don’t Fear Change

Emotionally secure people understand that change is a part of life. Instead of fearing it, they embrace it. They see change as an opportunity for growth and learning, not as a threat.

People who embrace change are more likely to have better job performance and overall well-being.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? When we’re open to change, we’re more adaptable and resilient.

Emotionally secure people get this. They’re flexible and can adjust their sails when the winds of life shift. They know that change can lead to beautiful transformations and new opportunities.

When you’re faced with a change, try to see it not as a roadblock but as an opportunity.

Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Embrace the new, adapt, learn, and watch yourself flourish!

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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