Lachlan Brown
We’ve all been there: feeling like we’re rubbing someone the wrong way or that we’re just not clicking. But have you ever considered that it might be something you’re doing?
According to psychology, there are small things we do that can unintentionally put people off.
And let’s be honest, nobody wants to be the person in the room who everyone else finds irritating.
In this article, we’re going to talk about these subtle habits and behaviours.
Let’s get started.
1) Being overly negative
Nobody enjoys a Debbie Downer.
Constant negativity can be draining for those around you. It’s one thing to vent about a bad day at work or a frustrating situation, but when it becomes your default setting, it can push people away.
According to psychology, humans are naturally drawn to positive people. Positivity creates a pleasant environment that people want to be part of.
But when you’re always focusing on the negative, complaining about every little thing, or criticizing others too harshly, you’re creating an atmosphere that’s anything but pleasant.
It’s okay to express your frustrations or concerns, but try not to let them dominate every conversation.
Striking a balance between sharing your struggles and maintaining a positive outlook can go a long way in making you more likable.
2) Dominating the conversation
I remember going to a social gathering a while back, excited to catch up with friends and make some new ones. But there was this one person who, well, didn’t quite get the memo on conversation etiquette.
He would always steer the conversation back to himself. Be it about his work, his vacation, or even his cat’s latest antics, everything was about him. He barely let anyone else get a word in.
Psychology tells us that people feel valued when they are heard. It’s an essential part of human connection.
When you dominate a conversation, you’re essentially shutting others out, making them feel unimportant.
Sure, it’s great to share your experiences and thoughts, but remember, conversation is a two-way street. It’s as much about listening as it is about speaking.
3) Lack of eye contact
Eye contact can be a powerful tool. It’s a non-verbal way of showing someone that you’re engaged and interested in what they’re saying.
But when you avoid it, it can send the wrong message. People might think you’re being rude or that you’re not interested in the conversation.
Maintaining eye contact makes people more aware of your emotional state, making your interactions feel more genuine.
Whether you’re chatting with a friend or meeting someone for the first time, remember to look them in the eye. It shows respect and can help build a stronger connection.
4) Being distracted
We live in a fast-paced, digital world where our attention is constantly being pulled in a million directions. It’s all too easy to get distracted, even when we’re supposed to be interacting with others.
Whether it’s checking your phone mid-conversation, zoning out, or not giving the person you’re talking to your full attention, these are all things that can make people feel unappreciated.
Think about it. When someone pays attention to you, it shows they value your time and what you have to say.
Being present in the moment and giving your undivided attention during conversations is a simple way to show respect and make others feel valued. It might seem small, but it can make a big difference in how people perceive you.
5) Not showing empathy
We’ve all had moments of struggle, and during those times, a little understanding can go a long way.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a trait that draws people to us. It makes us feel seen, understood and less alone in our experiences.
But when you don’t show empathy towards others, whether it’s dismissing their feelings or not acknowledging their hardships, it can make them feel invalidated and dismissed.
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, listening to their concerns without judgment, and showing genuine care can help build stronger relationships. It tells people that you’re not just there for the good times, but also when things get tough.
6) Being overly competitive
I’ve always been a bit of a competitive person. It’s helped me strive for success and push myself to do better. But there was a time when this competitiveness started to seep into my relationships.
I found myself turning everything into a competition, from work achievements to weekend plans. And while a little friendly competition can add some excitement, turning everything into a contest can put people on edge.
People want to be around others who support and celebrate their achievements, not those who constantly try to one-up them.
Whether it’s about being happy for a friend’s promotion or not turning every board game night into a cutthroat competition, toning down the competitiveness can make you more likable. After all, life is not a race, but a journey to be enjoyed.
7) Not respecting personal boundaries
Each of us has our own comfort zones and personal boundaries. It’s crucial to respect these when interacting with others.
Crossing these boundaries, whether it’s asking overly personal questions or not respecting someone’s space, can make people uncomfortable and lead to feelings of resentment or discomfort.
Being mindful of how you interact with others, asking for permission when necessary, and respecting the boundaries others set can help you foster healthier relationships.
8) Failing to show gratitude
At its core, gratitude is a simple expression of appreciation.
It’s about recognizing the good in our lives and acknowledging those who contribute to it. But when we fail to show gratitude, we risk appearing unappreciative or entitled.
A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making others feel valued and appreciated. It shows you don’t take them for granted.
Fundamentally, it’s about respect
Understanding human behavior can often feel like navigating a complex maze. But at its core, it often comes down to a simple concept: respect.
Respect, in this context, is about acknowledging the autonomy of others, their feelings, their boundaries, and their worth. It’s about understanding that our actions and words have an impact on those around us.
It’s the golden rule we’ve all heard since childhood: “Treat others how you would want to be treated.”
Whether it’s maintaining eye contact during a conversation, showing empathy during someone’s tough times, or expressing gratitude for someone’s help, these small actions are all gestures of respect.
And according to psychology, that respect is key in determining how others perceive and interact with us.
So as you navigate your interactions with others, remember that the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference. It’s the small things that can help us build stronger, more meaningful connections with those around us.
After all, isn’t that what we’re all striving for?
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.
