8 signs you’re a very difficult person to deal with, according to psychology

Psychology can reveal a lot about our behaviours, including the traits that make us tough to handle.

It’s not always easy to recognize when you’re the one making things difficult. After all, no one likes to think of themselves as the ‘problem’.

But here’s the thing – according to psychology, there are clear signs that indicate if you’re a tough nut to crack.

In this article, I’ll be laying out 8 of these signs. It’s not about pointing fingers, rather a chance for self-awareness and growth.

So, buckle up. It’s time for some introspection. Here are “8 signs you’re a very difficult person to deal with, according to psychology”.

1) You’re often the center of conflict

People don’t exist in isolation. We’re social beings and our relationships with others can tell us a lot about ourselves.

According to psychology, one sign you might be a challenging person to deal with is if you often find yourself in the heart of disagreements or conflicts.

Now, conflict isn’t necessarily bad. It’s part of life and can lead to growth and progress. But if you’re consistently at the epicenter of arguments, it might be time to ask why.

Are you always quick to criticize or contradict? Do you find it hard to compromise or empathize with other perspectives?

If this resonates, then it might indicate you’re a difficult person to deal with. But remember, recognizing this is the first step towards change.

2) You struggle with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a critical skill for building positive relationships.

Here’s where I have to get personal. I remember a time when my friend was going through a tough breakup. She was devastated and needed someone to lean on.

But instead of offering a listening ear, I found myself brushing off her feelings, telling her to ‘just move on’ and ‘there are plenty of fish in the sea’. To me, it made sense – why dwell on something you can’t change?

It wasn’t until later that I realized how dismissive I had been. My friend didn’t need advice or solutions, she needed understanding and support. From that point, I knew I had to work on my empathy.

If you often find yourself unable to relate to others’ feelings or dismissing them as irrelevant, this could be a sign you’re difficult to deal with. But like any skill, empathy can be learned and improved over time.

3) You’re resistant to change

Change is inevitable – it’s a fundamental aspect of life. Yet, some of us have a hard time adapting to new situations or environments.

Believe it or not, research shows that humans are naturally wired to resist change. This is because our brains are geared towards creating patterns and routines to save energy.

When faced with change, the brain perceives it as a threat and responds by releasing stress hormones. This can make us feel anxious and resistant.

So, if you’re someone who stubbornly clings to old ways and resists any new ideas or changes, it’s not just frustrating for those around you – it’s also a sign you could be a tough person to deal with. However, understanding this natural inclination can help you work on becoming more adaptable and open to change.

4) You’re a poor listener

Communication is a two-way street, and listening is half the battle.

If you find yourself constantly waiting for your turn to speak rather than genuinely engaging with what someone else is saying, you might be a difficult person to deal with.

Being a good listener is about more than just staying quiet while the other person talks. It’s about showing genuine interest, understanding, and responding in a way that adds value to the conversation.

Nobody wants to feel like they’re talking to a brick wall. If you often find yourself zoning out or preparing your response while others are still speaking, it’s time to work on your listening skills. Remember, effective communication is key to building strong relationships.

5) You struggle with forgiveness

We all get hurt by others. It’s a part of life. But holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive is not only harmful to your own mental health, it can also make you a difficult person to be around.

If you find it hard to let go of past wrongs and often bring up old issues in unrelated arguments, it’s a sign of struggle with forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and allowing room for peace in your heart.

Remember, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Learning to forgive not only makes you easier to be around, but it also brings you inner peace and happiness.

6) You’re overly critical

Perfection is an illusion, yet it’s an illusion many of us chase. I’ve often found myself nitpicking over the smallest details, whether it’s in my work, my relationships, or even in myself.

This constant pursuit of perfection often led me to be overly critical of others. I’d quickly point out their mistakes, without considering the impact of my words.

Being overly critical not only strains relationships, but it can also create a negative environment.

If you find yourself frequently criticizing others and rarely offering praise or positive feedback, it could be a sign you’re difficult to deal with. But remember, it’s never too late to learn the power of constructive criticism and positive reinforcement.

7) You don’t respect boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.

If you often find yourself intruding on others’ personal space, disregarding their feelings, or ignoring their requests for privacy, you might be crossing boundaries.

This can be really tough for the people around you, making you difficult to deal with.

Recognizing and respecting personal boundaries shows that you value the other person’s feelings and well-being. It’s a sign of emotional maturity and respect.

Remember, everyone has the right to their personal space and feelings. Understanding this can help you become a more considerate and easier person to be around.

8) You struggle with self-awareness

At the core of many difficult behaviors lies a lack of self-awareness.

If you’re often surprised by how people react to you, or if you struggle to understand why people may find you difficult, it might be a sign that you lack self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability to see ourselves clearly, to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world. It’s about understanding our strengths and weaknesses and acknowledging our flaws.

Developing self-awareness is not just about making you less difficult to deal with. It’s also about personal growth, better relationships, and a more fulfilling life.

The takeaway: It’s all about growth

Our behaviors, attitudes, and the way we interact with others are deeply rooted in our psychological make-up.

Understanding these patterns, and more importantly, recognizing if they are making us difficult to deal with, is the first step towards personal development and healthier relationships.

The signs we’ve discussed here, from lack of empathy to resistance to change, are not meant to be a final verdict on your personality. Instead, they are indicators of areas in your life where you can grow and improve.

Remember, it’s never too late to change. It’s never too late to become a better person.

As Carl Jung famously said: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

So take a moment to reflect – are any of these signs resonating with you? If they are, embrace this awareness as an opportunity for growth. Your future self will thank you for it.