8 signs a guy is just using you for an ego boost, according to psychology

It’s one thing to be a guy’s cheerleader, quite another to be his ego booster.

Spotting the difference can be tough, especially when emotions are involved. You’re left wondering, is he into you, or just into how you make him feel about himself?

Well, psychology has some insights. And knowing these signs can help you figure out if you’re being used as an ego boost.

So, let’s dive into the 8 signs a guy is just using you to inflate his self-esteem. Trust me, it’s better to know now than later.

1) He’s always fishing for compliments

We all appreciate a good compliment. But when a guy seems to be constantly seeking praise, it might be more about his ego than your relationship.

According to psychology, people with high egos often fish for compliments to boost their self-esteem. They’re not just happy when they hear nice things about themselves – they need it.

So if he’s often steering conversations towards his achievements or subtly putting himself down in hopes you’ll disagree and compliment him, beware. He might just be using you as his personal ego booster.

And remember, there’s a fine line between sharing success and fishing for praise. It’s important to know the difference and ensure that the praise is mutual, not one-sided.

2) He only contacts you when he’s feeling low

Have you ever noticed that some guys only seem to reach out when they’re going through a tough time or feeling down? This is a red flag that he might be using you for an ego boost.

I’ll never forget this one guy I dated. We’d have amazing times together, but I started to notice a pattern. He would only call me when he was feeling low or had a bad day at work. It felt like I was his personal cheerleader, always there to lift his spirits.

Psychology suggests that people who use others for ego boosts tend to reach out only when they need emotional support or validation. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to have a conversation about it and set boundaries. Relationships are about give and take, not just one person constantly giving.

3) He rarely shows interest in your life

It’s common courtesy to ask about someone’s day or how they’re doing, especially if it’s someone you care about. But when a guy is using you for an ego boost, he might not show much interest in your life.

People with inflated egos tend to focus more on their own experiences and less on the experiences of others. This means that if he’s always talking about himself and rarely asks about your day, your dreams, or your feelings, he might be more interested in boosting his ego than in building a genuine connection with you.

Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual interest and support, not just one person being the center of attention.

4) He’s nowhere to be found when you’re in need

Nothing is more telling than how a person behaves when you’re going through a tough time. If a guy disappears or seems uninterested when you’re in need, it’s a clear sign he might be using you for an ego boost.

In psychology, this is known as “fair-weather friendship”. These individuals are only around during the good times, when they can bask in the glow of your admiration and praise. But when the going gets tough and they’re needed for support, they’re nowhere to be found.

If this sounds familiar, it might be time to reconsider whether this guy values you for who you are, or for the ego boost you provide.

5) He doesn’t appreciate your uniqueness

We all have our quirks, our unique traits that make us who we are. These should be celebrated, not overlooked. Sadly, when a guy is using you for an ego boost, he may not appreciate your uniqueness.

It’s heartbreaking when you realise that the guy you’ve been pouring your heart into doesn’t actually see the real you. He’s not interested in your dreams, passions, or the little quirks that make you special. Instead, he’s more focused on how you can make him feel good about himself.

Psychology tells us that people who genuinely care will take interest in understanding and appreciating your unique qualities. If he’s not doing that, it could be a sign he’s just using you for an ego boost.

Love yourself enough to find someone who loves all of you – quirks and all. You deserve nothing less.

6) He seldom makes plans for the future with you

Picture this: you’re seeing someone, everything seems to be going fine, but he never talks about the future. Not even a mention of what you both might do next weekend. Trust me, I’ve been there. And it’s confusing.

This might be a sign that he’s just using you for an ego boost. Psychology suggests that people who are truly invested in a relationship will want to plan and envision a future together. If he’s always living in the moment and avoids any talk of future plans, it could be a sign that he’s not serious about the relationship.

7) He never introduces you to his friends or family

Meeting a significant other’s friends and family is a big step in a relationship. It’s a sign that things are getting serious. But what if he never introduces you to his circle?

This could be an indication that he’s just using you for an ego boost. According to psychology, people who are genuinely interested in a relationship will want to integrate their partner into their social circles.

If he’s keeping you separate from his friends and family, it might be because he’s not seeing the relationship as something long-term. This lack of integration could mean he’s more interested in the way you make him feel about himself than in building something meaningful with you.

8) You feel more like an accessory than a partner

This is the crux of it all. If you ever feel like an accessory, there to make him look good or feel better about himself, rather than a valued partner, it’s a huge red flag.

Psychology underscores that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and equality. If he’s treating you like an ego booster, it’s not about you as an individual, but about how you can serve his needs.

Always remember your worth. You’re not an accessory to someone else’s life, but a unique and valuable individual deserving of love and respect.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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